My DH just told me that I needed a personal trainer

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
I will not discuss his comment but about a year ago, I took back my life. I have four children, including twins in the middle. I joined a gym, got a trainer once a week, joined Mont. County Road runners and started a half marathon program with them also. I am now in tip top shape and working out every day, including a new yoga class. My mental health and our marriage is stronger than ever. Thankfully it works out with our schedules - I know it is hard for some people to fit it all in.
Good Luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you for all the encouragement and feedback. And sharing your own stories. While I agree that it was a total ass comment my DH made. My DH is a great guy, good husband, very involved father, the works.

I think the problem is two fold. One he's used to my attitude that nothing bothers me. Or being able to deal with everything. Two, I know he misses the the old figure that he fell in love with, which was 118 -120 lbs, which was pre-twins and infertility! I don't think he knows what to do with my depression. He's had a job that he loves, and totally kicks ass in. I decided to SAH with the kids and have fallen into a bit of bored routine.

I think it's time for me to take my life back, and it needs to start with exercise!

Again, thanks for all the comments even the fat ones and the one where he will leave me

everyone gets in a rut during life. as rude as your husband may have come off maybe this was your "wake up" call

[Anonymous]

You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

I think that you are correct that the expectation is more common among white guys but a lot of white guys are not assholes about women's bodies either. It takes a special kind of ass to tell his wife to get a personal trainer because of 10 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

U are so right! I am 5'8" and when I was 140 my white husband loved it, my doctor told me to gain 4 lbs. My best friend at the time who is a black male commented how great I looked when my effort to gain 4lbs ended up being 8lbs. We would joke about it all the time. I would get back from vacation 4lbs heavier and he would be like man you look great. I would be like - you know that means I need to lose 5lbs my husband is white.

[Anonymous]

oh snap

[Anonymous]

now it gotta get racial huh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

U are so right! I am 5'8" and when I was 140 my white husband loved it, my doctor told me to gain 4 lbs. My best friend at the time who is a black male commented how great I looked when my effort to gain 4lbs ended up being 8lbs. We would joke about it all the time. I would get back from vacation 4lbs heavier and he would be like man you look great. I would be like - you know that means I need to lose 5lbs my husband is white.

if I were your husband, i'd be very suspicious of your "best friend" being a black man. Unless you're black yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

U are so right! I am 5'8" and when I was 140 my white husband loved it, my doctor told me to gain 4 lbs. My best friend at the time who is a black male commented how great I looked when my effort to gain 4lbs ended up being 8lbs. We would joke about it all the time. I would get back from vacation 4lbs heavier and he would be like man you look great. I would be like - you know that means I need to lose 5lbs my husband is white.

if I were your husband, i'd be very suspicious of your "best friend" being a black man. Unless you're black yourself.

Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

U are so right! I am 5'8" and when I was 140 my white husband loved it, my doctor told me to gain 4 lbs. My best friend at the time who is a black male commented how great I looked when my effort to gain 4lbs ended up being 8lbs. We would joke about it all the time. I would get back from vacation 4lbs heavier and he would be like man you look great. I would be like - you know that means I need to lose 5lbs my husband is white.

if I were your husband, i'd be very suspicious of your "best friend" being a black man. Unless you're black yourself.

Wow!

Yeah, notice it is only if he's black. A white male best friend is apparently not suspect in any way.

[Anonymous]

like i said: why we got to get racial with it now

[Anonymous]

Having a male best friend in general - regardless of race- can be tricky!



especially if this best friend is cute!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gained ten pounds and it's causing this kind of angst? Wake up call? Rut?? For 10 pounds??? Absolutely no offense intended OP, but I can't imagine being married to a man who would even notice. My DH gets upset when I get too thin, which for him is when I'm 5'7" 140 (or probably about what you look like at your height/weight). Is your DH white? Seems like this kind of expectation is more common among white guys.

U are so right! I am 5'8" and when I was 140 my white husband loved it, my doctor told me to gain 4 lbs. My best friend at the time who is a black male commented how great I looked when my effort to gain 4lbs ended up being 8lbs. We would joke about it all the time. I would get back from vacation 4lbs heavier and he would be like man you look great. I would be like - you know that means I need to lose 5lbs my husband is white.

if I were your husband, i'd be very suspicious of your "best friend" being a black man. Unless you're black yourself.

Wow!

Yeah, notice it is only if he's black. A white male best friend is apparently not suspect in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,
I will not discuss his comment but about a year ago, I took back my life. I have four children, including twins in the middle. I joined a gym, got a trainer once a week, joined Mont. County Road runners and started a half marathon program with them also. I am now in tip top shape and working out every day, including a new yoga class. My mental health and our marriage is stronger than ever. Thankfully it works out with our schedules - I know it is hard for some people to fit it all in.
Good Luck OP!

Wow, how DO you fit all that in while raising four children and working full time?

[Anonymous]

08:35 - Sorry, I do not work at the moment. I SAH and my husband works locally and has nice 9-5 hours. I leave straight after I feed everyone dinner and he puts them to bed. He is a gem and I am lucky that his schedule is such. I get to blow off all my steam and come home to a quiet house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:08:35 - Sorry, I do not work at the moment. I SAH and my husband works locally and has nice 9-5 hours. I leave straight after I feed everyone dinner and he puts them to bed. He is a gem and I am lucky that his schedule is such. I get to blow off all my steam and come home to a quiet house.

Yeah, no duh. I was being sarcastic. Of course you SAH.