Question for People Who have Friends w/ Different Income Levels

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have tended to gravitate to people in our income bracket. It just made more sense for us to hang out with people who made the same amount of money as we did and could do the same types of things we can.

Recently, my daughter has begun to hang out on the playground with a new girl who is of a different income level and has very much enjoyed playing with her. Her mother and I have hit it off and also begun hanging out. I've noticed, we are VERY different. We approach things differently and handle just about every aspect of life differently. I've enjoyed the friendship that I've begun to form with this woman, because I find her sense of humor, her love of her child, and our easy way with each other to be very comfortable.

I've had her over to my house last week for a playdate and next week I'm going to hers.

I'm a little uncomfortable about this next step and was thinking of cancelling and making up an excuse. I know that she and I get along so well - as do our daughters, but somehow the difference in our financial status just seems so large.

Has anyone else had this issue in a friendship?

Really? I think she's just petty. PP gets a from me.
OP, I find it interesting that you had her over to your house but feel uncomfortable going to hers. I would think it would be the exact opposite. I would have thought you would feel uncomfortable inviting her to your house because then she might feel self-consious about the income difference. At least that's how I feel. I don't invite any of my friends over (except the ones I know really, really well) because I worry about what they might think if they saw our house, because most of them live in modest condos and we live in a huge Great Falls house with a two-acre yard. DH and I are very low-key, practical, Old Navy wearing, Olive Garden going folk, but I would feel very uncomfortable if people came over to our house. In fact I worry about losing friends over it if I were to invite them over, so I just don't invite anyone over except my closest friends. In fact there's someone who I have recently become really good friends with over the past 6 months, but I have not yet invited her over because I worry that if I do, then she will not want to be my friend anymore.

my heart aches for your suffering. Please pray and ask for an answer.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is about your own insecurities. This has nothing to dow with ANYTHING else.

Yes, we have friends of WILDLY different incomes. The rich ones come along with some pretty cool benefits too. Like taking our kids to hang out at the house on the weekends-better than Disney and free!

[Anonymous]

OP, how old are your children?

23:42 - Let me get this straight. Your "friend" is a babysitting service that you use for your child's entertainment?

We used to have "friends" like this. We had less and less in common. Their children used to come over and tear apart the house each time or go into total melt down mode on a regular basis with no supervision. Especially when I was the one that needed a break and they were not to be found! Like they say, with "friends" like you...

Op, if you are in a situation to doit, that is fine. You may tire quicker than you think, unless the other mom is "on it" to the extent you seem to be. Otherwise, it might not be worth it.

[Anonymous]

I understand OP. I am friends with someone whose house cost 5 times what mine did and who has a great deal of money. There is a divide there that we are both area of and in our case we have kind of overcome it by joking about it. one of the challenges of the friendship is differences in lifestyle. We don't have the cash to do many of the activities that they do and so we often have to say no. It is a balancing act - I don't want here paying for things for me so I can do them and I don't want her to feel she can't talk about her lifestyle because mine is different. It works for us but we are at a point in the friendship where we talk pretty openly about money and the chasm between us because otherwise it would still be there but would become awkward due to it being the elephant in the room.

I agree it isn't an issue for your daughter. you can raise her to understand that some have more and some have less and it isn't money or material items that make the person someone of character. Who she is is not determined by what she possesses.