3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it alone. Thanksgiving is for family. Either stay with DH or figure out a less stressful time for the two of you to drive together (with kids).

Or drive when traffic isn't crazy. Leave at 9 AM on Tuesday, return at 9 AM on Saturday. Still a long trip, but you'll skip the traffic madness.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like its a really important trip for you. If you have flexibility in your schedule leave early and return later than everyone else. Break up the trip with hotel stays if you need - or power thru. It is doable but I would avoid the wednesday and sunday of that week as its the most traveled time. If you DH doesn't want to go, then don't force him. I know I have finally had it with DH's family gatherings and now pick and choice which ones I go to. Our kids go to all of them but I don't. I'm not the one that really needs to be there anyway. Its more important the kids get to see the relatives. If my DH really wants me to partipate I will but he has finally realized that the family gathers are stressful for me and that going is not always the magic answer.

Go for it!

[Anonymous]

I suggested flying before and now read the post about the 150 people party on Friday. Here's what I would do. Have Thanksgiving in your own home early then fly up with the older 2 leaving the baby home with DH.

It's a short flight and lots of people have completed their travel to Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

OP, where in New England?

We have driven to Massachusetts several times, and to avoid traffic/toll roads we take I 81 instead of I 95. Yes, it is a bit out of the way, but the fact that you avoid all the Beltway (we're in VA)/Baltimore/Philadephia/NYC traffic makes it well worth it.

[Anonymous]

We have family all up and down the east coast, from Boston to DC, and have logged many miles on 95, the New York Thruway, 81, etc. . . . When our kids were little I drove from DC to Cape Cod or Vermont by myself several times with 4 kids, but we always broke the trip up into 2 days and it was always in the summer when it was easy to stop and let the kids blow off some steam. I've also driven to NY for Thanksgiving by myself with all 4 kids, but that was my absolute limit -- farther than that and I would have gone into a total mommy melt-down. I would not do what you're considering. Nor would I fly or take the train -- just another set of headaches with little ones. Yes, I flew alone with the kids when they were small, but Thanksgiving is just crazy for any kind of travel.

If you feel you must go, please take the advice of several PPs and see if you can get one of your parents or an adult sib to fly down here and then drive back with you. Or make it a week-long trip that you break up into a couple of days. Or, at the very least, go some way other than via 95. I did a New England college tour this summer with our youngest son and found that going up through PA and across NJ to the NY Thruway to the Mass Pike and then up into VT, NH and ME was actually pretty easy driving. But, again, this wasn't Thanksgiving and I didn't have young kids with me. (Traveling with your teen can actually be very fun once you achieve a certain Zen-like state of peace with the music, the junk food, and the swearing.)

Finally, I want to suggest that you consider staying here and having T-Day with your DH as a nuclear family. My DH and I both have wonderful and close extended families, but when our kids were quite young, we decided we would never travel on Christmas. Yes, I got a lot of grief from my sibs, but in the end, it has been the best thing for us. We have created our own traditions for the holiday and for visiting with extended family at other times of the year when travel is easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not do it. I barely manage a 6 hr trip with 2 children by myself.

That said, why do you have to do it at Thanksgiving? Why can't you go visit the extended family some other weekend. or take more vacation time to avoid the traffic?

Agree with this--your kids are young enough that you don't have to worry about missing school, take some time off another weekend and do it when traffic won't be insane.

[Anonymous]

I work at a local college and there are always kids looking for rides home for the holiday. Maybe you could contact student affairs at some local colleges and see if they can hook you up with a student to make the drive with you.

The party for 150 relatives sounds special and something that a four year old would remember.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've traveled long distances (think Australia, 10 hour road trips) with kids by myself. I'd definitely call myself a seasoned and adventurous traveler. Each time I'm thinking about a new trip I consider the worst case scenario(s) and ask myself if I could handle it. Personally, in your situation, I would not do it! Too many what ifs - traffic, weather, age of kids, etc.

[Anonymous]

I find it hard to believe your husband doesn't just man up and go. You promised him something in the heat of a stressful moment. So what? He is a grown up. It sounds crazy to me that he would make you deal with this all alone when his ONLY reason for not going is "I don't want to."

[Anonymous]

When my youngest son was 4 we went to a big family wedding. He's 17 now and all he remembers is that it was loud. But he has vivid memories from around that time of working with my mom in her garden.

Make plans to visit your extended family members with the kids at another time when travel is easier and they can spend quality time together. Spend Thanksgiving here with your husband and children, then you can fly up on your own the following day to see your extended family. Take a smart phone loaded with photos and videos of the kids so you can show them to your relatives. The PP who suggested imagining the worst case travel scenario is right -- Thanksgiving travel is just too unpredictable.

[Anonymous]

I would do it but only because my kids are the only young (and cute!) ones in our immediate family, so they are kind of the highlight for the family visit (if I don't say so myself.)
Maybe you can find someone to share the ride, a friend or college student who needs to get up to New England, and could lend a hand at the inevitable Cracker Barrel or rest stop? Preferably someone with ear plugs or bad hearing (a Galludet student from NE majoring in early childhood education?) There are ride share sites where you could post something...

[Anonymous]

As a DH, I'm annoyed that your husband isn't going ahead and traveling with you. I just don't get it. I would not be comfortable with my wife doing this and she the same.

If your husband doesn't just see the error and agree to go with you and you cannot get someone to fly down and drive with you, I would fly with EITHER the twins or the 1 yr old and the other(s) stay home with your husband. I would not do this drive during such a difficult traveling weekend solo with 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm shocked to hear all this advice that you cave in and stay here to make your DH happy because once a year he has to sit in traffic. Everyone sits in traffic on holidays for exactly the reason you want to go to NE to see your family...most families only get together once a year and as you said, no one is getting any younger and these are the gatherings you want to enjoy with your kids.

Your DH should understand this is important to you, man up, and make the trip. It's once a year, not a lot to expect of a partner.

[Anonymous]

If you are comfortable making that drive alone, I would also say do it off peak (Tues to Tues)

My family is in Boston as well and we do the train quite a bit (2 kids travel at half price so it can be cheaper than flights at the holidays) Your 4 year olds should be fine to stay with you and carry their own backpacks (and possibly even their boosters - take backless ones or buy them there. I kept highback seats with family there so we wouldn't have to schlep them. The kids are in boosters for several years so if you visit regularly, it's well worth it) so you can manage the 2 year old.

And if you are visiting family, you don't need to pack everything and the kitchen sink. A few outfits and plan to do laundry. Buy diapers, toiletries and other things there.

That said, if you plan to drive after all, please think about safety if you do get stuck. 3 kids on the side of the NJ Turnpike doesn't sound ppealing.a

[Anonymous]

I have a son that I am trying to get to the Boston, MA area. We used to live in MD. His brother is coming from Indiana and we are all trying to be in the same place for once. He is a very SAFE driver. Good with kids because he's the oldest of five. He has to work Nov. 23rd so he can't leave till that evening. Can split gas.

Let me know