It irks me that both schools my kids attend are bossy about what to pack for lunch

[Anonymous]

DD and I have had so many chuckles about heavy girls

That's OK; I've taught my grade-school DS to laugh at Butterfaces like you. We chuckle about how heavy girls can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly and slender.

j/k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to know what is considered "junk" food. Is it just cookies, candy, and lunchables? What about all the other crap (high-sugar yogurt, granola bars filled with sugar, "fruit" chews, etc.). Do the schools prohibit those too? If not, then these rules are ridiculous and inconsistent, IMO.

Agree wholeheartedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

Yes yes yes to the above two posters. Thanks for being sane.

[Anonymous]

"This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

This. Abide by the rules or work to have them changed. Don't just take what you want and ignore what you don't. Use it as a teaching moment for your children. Otherwise, please withdraw from the school so that we might have a chance to go to that school (and follow its rules).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

I like the no sweets or junk food rule but I would be really pissed if a school administrator said this to me. To call the school a "community" and then to say, in effect, we do not care what you think because plenty of people will do exactly what we say without complaining, is pretty offensive. It's true that some of the more exclusive schools can do whatever the hell they want because people will still pay an arm and a leg to send their kids there. But it's still offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

Then please don't take go/stay in that school.


I like the no sweets or junk food rule but I would be really pissed if a school administrator said this to me. To call the school a "community" and then to say, in effect, we do not care what you think because plenty of people will do exactly what we say without complaining, is pretty offensive. It's true that some of the more exclusive schools can do whatever the hell they want because people will still pay an arm and a leg to send their kids there. But it's still offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

Then please don't take go/stay in that school.


I like the no sweets or junk food rule but I would be really pissed if a school administrator said this to me. To call the school a "community" and then to say, in effect, we do not care what you think because plenty of people will do exactly what we say without complaining, is pretty offensive. It's true that some of the more exclusive schools can do whatever the hell they want because people will still pay an arm and a leg to send their kids there. But it's still offensive.

I don't think they would say that at my child's school. They are pretty good at customer service even though they do have one of the longest waiting lists in the city. Sorry, but I'm staying and if I don't agree with a school policy, I will discuss it with the administrators. That's what it means to be part of a community.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's the point. You don't have to go to the school that you find offensive. It's a private school, you choose to stay, you choose to leave. Glad you like your school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

I like the no sweets or junk food rule but I would be really pissed if a school administrator said this to me. To call the school a "community" and then to say, in effect, we do not care what you think because plenty of people will do exactly what we say without complaining, is pretty offensive. It's true that some of the more exclusive schools can do whatever the hell they want because people will still pay an arm and a leg to send their kids there. But it's still offensive.

PP here. I agree. It was a very obnoxious thing to say in that forum. But I think her point was: it was not new rule - it had been on the books for a few years. The school rules are availabe on the website. So....when the parents applied and enrolled at the school, they did so with the knowledge that the rule was on the books. By going through the process, they agreed to abide by the rule. I will admit that it would have bothered me if this had been a new rule and she had said this.

[Anonymous]

Wait, I'm confused? I'm not supposed to include a small, bite-sized "treat" for my kid in his lunch when the rest is super healthy (turkey - no condiments - on whole wheat with strawberries and string cheese). I usually include a little cookie or brownie with it - like the size of a quarter.

How is this bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, I'm confused? I'm not supposed to include a small, bite-sized "treat" for my kid in his lunch when the rest is super healthy (turkey - no condiments - on whole wheat with strawberries and string cheese). I usually include a little cookie or brownie with it - like the size of a quarter.

How is this bad?

Not necessarily bad- just against the rules at some schools. And I agree with those rules. They can't look through every lunch to make sure the treat is appropriately sized and that the lunch is healthy overall. So they just say no sweets or junk. Your kid will live if he/she has to wait and have a treat at home.

[Anonymous]

For those parents whose kids attend schools with these rules, how do they define junk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

Well, when you are making the choice what you're told is that the school has a progressive approach to education, a commitment to diversity, small class sizes, experienced teachers, etc. The no-wheeled-backpacks, no ziploc bags, no junk food, can't walk your kids onto campus or park legally in the neighborhood type rules get rolled out later -- after you've signed the contract. They aren't part of the deal, so to speak. And these so-called communal norms aren't communally generated -- they're imposed top down. Basically, it's a my way or the highway response premised on scarcity and the power it conveys. And, usually, it's all talk and no enforcement. Not a pretty picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. School is about rules that work for the majority of people. So maybe your kid is thin and your kid doesn't get high off sugar and preservatives, but other kids do. So they prohibit for everyone. Duh. Maybe your kid doesn't act out super hero characters because of a cartoon lunchbox but others kids do, so no cartoon lunch boxes. Just go along with it, it won't kill your kid not to have candy for lunch. If you get this upset this early in the year because of this small thing, you are in for a long hard year.

ITA 100%!!!! Although I think a lot of this stems from the "you cannot tell me how to raise my child" mentality.

We had a school wide parent meeting witht the adminstrators last year. One of the counselors said something that stuck with me. Parents (mostly new parents) were complaining about a longstanding prohibition on backpacks with wheels. The counselor said "This is a private school and you are choosing to have your kids attend. This school is a community and when you chose to come here, you agree to the customs, values and rules of the school community - like them or not. We have a waiting list a mile long so you have to decide what is best for your child."

It was harsh and borderline obnoxious...but it did hit home on a few points. First, this is a choice. Nobody is forcing you to send your kids to THIS school. Second, many people are willing to pay for the rules and structure and lot of us are willing to live with some stupid rules to have our kids in that environment. Third, is this really an issue you want to fight about?

Well, when you are making the choice what you're told is that the school has a progressive approach to education, a commitment to diversity, small class sizes, experienced teachers, etc. The no-wheeled-backpacks, no ziploc bags, no junk food, can't walk your kids onto campus or park legally in the neighborhood type rules get rolled out later -- after you've signed the contract. They aren't part of the deal, so to speak. And these so-called communal norms aren't communally generated -- they're imposed top down. Basically, it's a my way or the highway response premised on scarcity and the power it conveys. And, usually, it's all talk and no enforcement. Not a pretty picture.

This is true. We did not get our student handbook until DC was enrolled in the school.