Supposed "friends" who invite you to nice parties at their house to sell you crappy jewelry, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's not about supporting you, it's about supporting the company you work for. When I ask you to watch my child or contribute to a charity, it's completely different. Watching a child is a favor to a friend, usually reciprocated, and giving money to a charity is, well, a donation to a worthy cause, I'd hope. But buying a pair of earrings or a necklace when I want neither but want to "support" you is basically like asking for a monetary donation. Do you go around saying, "Could you please give me $10?" That's what it feels like to me, and no, I won't give you $10, I won't buy those earrings, and NO, I will not come to your party, even though you seem like a nice person, but NO, NO, NO!!!

I'm the PP and I don't see my business as any different than if your friend opened a restaurant and asked you to come for dinner. Would you not want to support their new business? Or how about a friend who is in real estate and asks for your business? How is this any different? And yes, buying a $24 pair of earrings or coming to my show (even if you don't buy anything) is supportive to ME. It shows that you want to encourage my interests, and support my new business venture. It is NOT about supporting the company I work for. You are supporting ME. Or at least that's how I feel about it. I'm sorry if you feel like you're supporting the company and that our friendship means so little to you that you can't be happy for my success. That's how your NO, NO, NO comes across. Why are women so catty? Why can't we support each other and non-traditional work choices?

1) A restaurant is a commercial establishment, not a private residence, and I have no expectation of friendship with the restaurant owners and
2) I don't support non traditional job choices. I've worked a traditional job for over 20 years. If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you.

[Anonymous]

1. I have a friend who makes and sells jewelry. When I need jewelry, I look at her website. If I like something, I buy it. And yes partially to support her, but I have to like her things too. She also gives me a friends discount. She has a FB page that shows where she is selling (farmers markets, shows, etc.). I've occassionally dropped by if its near me. If my friend continuously threw parties and asked me to come, I'd probably be annoyed.

2. I have a friend who opened a restaurant. I got invited to the grand opening, which was free. I occassionally go there, when I want to buy food. I've asked her to bring over some catering occassionally. She gives me a discount sometimes, or a free dessert. She doesn't ask me to show up at 3 pm on Tuesday afternoon and buy my own meal.

3. I have a friend who is a realtor. He does pretty well I think and is well-known. Our kids are friends. If I were to sell my house and needed a realtor, I might use him. Or I might use the person who sells a lot of houses near me and who I've used before. But I would consider him. When I see him, I sometimes ask how a certain listing is doing. If I wanted to buy it, I'm sure he would be fine with that.

In all of these situations, the sale/use of my friend is at my option. My friend doesn't say, please come to my listing/restaurant/jewelry show and buy something to support me. It is a more subtle support than that. Driven completely by the potential consumer. There is no expectation on the behalf of the people in these industries that their friends will show up and buy things "to support them". They are just friends. This is completely different than a person who throws parties and expects you to show up and buy things on their schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I have a friend who makes and sells jewelry. When I need jewelry, I look at her website. If I like something, I buy it. And yes partially to support her, but I have to like her things too. She also gives me a friends discount. She has a FB page that shows where she is selling (farmers markets, shows, etc.). I've occassionally dropped by if its near me. If my friend continuously threw parties and asked me to come, I'd probably be annoyed.

2. I have a friend who opened a restaurant. I got invited to the grand opening, which was free. I occassionally go there, when I want to buy food. I've asked her to bring over some catering occassionally. She gives me a discount sometimes, or a free dessert. She doesn't ask me to show up at 3 pm on Tuesday afternoon and buy my own meal.

3. I have a friend who is a realtor. He does pretty well I think and is well-known. Our kids are friends. If I were to sell my house and needed a realtor, I might use him. Or I might use the person who sells a lot of houses near me and who I've used before. But I would consider him. When I see him, I sometimes ask how a certain listing is doing. If I wanted to buy it, I'm sure he would be fine with that.

In all of these situations, the sale/use of my friend is at my option. My friend doesn't say, please come to my listing/restaurant/jewelry show and buy something to support me. It is a more subtle support than that. Driven completely by the potential consumer. There is no expectation on the behalf of the people in these industries that their friends will show up and buy things "to support them". They are just friends. This is completely different than a person who throws parties and expects you to show up and buy things on their schedule.

Yep. And in all of these cases, your friends are relying on the general public to support their businesses. They are not exclusively marketing to friends and then using their friends to find other "friends" to sell to.

I've been invited to at least a dozen of these types of parties and have also had "friends" try to convince me to host a party for them to sell crap to my friends (I declined). Never once have I simply received an invitation. There have always been multiple "reminder" e-mails and even phone calls. It's the pushiness that really turns me off. This whole concept of selling to your friends is just so utterly tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you are going to start a business, you should have an actual target market. Your target market should not be your family and friends. That is not sustainable, and that is one of the many problems with these companies.

Signed,

Actual Business Owner Who Doesn't Hawk Goods to Family and Friends

I'm an interior designer. I own my own business and I design hotels. I know many, many residential designers who have a base of customers that are friends and customers. Of course they also have non-friends/family customers but family and friends definitely play a part. You are sweeping a very wide brush to try and make a point that isn't totally working.

[Anonymous]

"It is a REAL job regardless of what you think. And the truth is, if you are really a true friend why would you not want to support me? I've donated $$ to your charities, bid on items at YOUR school auction, bought girl scout cookies from your child, WATCHED your kid so you could go to work when your nanny was sick, etc. I don't get the anger about this! I'm not asking you to sell your firstborn, I'm hoping you will support my business and buy a $24 pair of earrings."


To the PP who write this -- if the ladies who were inviting me to crappy jewelry parties had done any of the things you cite, I WOULD GO AND BUY SOME JEWELRY. (And if one of them had watched my kid for an entire work day, i would spend a lot more than 24 bucks.) I get invited by people WHO DO NOT INVITE ME TO THEIR OTHER SOCIAL GATHERINGS. One woman had a friggin christmas party, did not invite us, had a jewelry party three weeks later and invited me. Probably because we have alot of money and she thinks I would spend. She is a MORON for being so crass. I do not know why she thinks this is acceptable.
One of my friends had a clothing party. This friend is a SAHM who always offers to help me with pick-ups, etc, since I am a WOHM. I have never had to take her up on it, but the fact that she offers is huge. I brought lots of kid clothes at her party. Because I genuinely want her to succeed, I want to know about her company, I want to be of any help I can.
look, I think it is tacky as hell. but that doesn't mean I won't participate if I feel it is warranted. But if the person is not your friend enough to be invited to your home under non-commercial circumstances, for god's sake don't try to sell them crap.

[Anonymous]

So true. If you wouldn't invite them to your wedding, your DD's birthday party, your house for dinner, then don't invite them to your shopping party. And if they are unlucky enough to still be invited, then invite them once, and that's it unless they specifically ask you when your next event is.

[Anonymous]

"Friends" typically don't try to sell you junk jewelry with a 150% mark up.

[Anonymous]

Oh geez people it's just a stupid party!! I get invited to these from time to time. Sometimes I go and sometimes I don't. All the women I know who have thrown these have had nothing but good intentions to have a party with their friends where they can shop, socialize and drink. Anyone who is so truly deeply offended just needs to stop overthinking this and get over themselves. If you don't want to go DON'T GO!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Friends" typically don't try to sell you junk jewelry with a 150% mark up.

Oh yes, then they must not be your friends. Just a bunch of mean spirited, self-centered people trying to get their own discount on jewelry. It's a HUGE conspiracy!!! Don't trust these people! They are truly bad people

[Anonymous]

I just went this morning to a CAbi sale. I don't know the woman who hosted this event very well at all -- my only interaction with her has been to have been invited (by another acquaintance) to an earlier sale. I heard about the sale through an e-mail to which I did not have to RSVP. Yes, there was food there, and everyone was very friendly, but there was absolutely NO PRESSURE to buy anything. I could easily have left empty-handed, but I didn't because I love the clothes. I have absolutely no problem with this type of selling at all -- it was a lot of fun!!