Supposed "friends" who invite you to nice parties at their house to sell you crappy jewelry, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have been invited to several of these and although I don't have a problem declining when I am not interested in what they are selling, I do feel pressured to buy something everytime I go to one. That's why I limit the ones I attend to products that I will actually use/like (which pretty much narrows it down to Pampered Chef). Otherwise, just make up an excuse if you don't want to flat-out decline. If you don't go, then I don't think you are obligated at all to buy anything.

I do think it's tacky and would never do one myself but I have also seen friends host a party as a favor to one of their friends who is an agent. I would have no problem saying no to someone who asked me to host a party.

A cousin of mine sells Silpada and brought all of her catalogs to Thanksgiving dinner (unsolicited). She saw it as a great way for us to buy easy Christmas presents but it ended up being a great way for my grandmother to go broke buying overpriced necklaces for everyone (I do actually think their jewelry is tasteful and nice but its expensive--if you don't have a lot of money to spend at a party like this, its not like they offer inexpenisve options like measuring cups or lipstick).

Oddly enough, I have been to two parties like this in the past two years and both were in the city.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say, "So glad I don't live in the 'burbs" until I read your last line. What neighborhood do you live in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been invited to several of these and although I don't have a problem declining when I am not interested in what they are selling, I do feel pressured to buy something everytime I go to one. That's why I limit the ones I attend to products that I will actually use/like (which pretty much narrows it down to Pampered Chef). Otherwise, just make up an excuse if you don't want to flat-out decline. If you don't go, then I don't think you are obligated at all to buy anything.

I do think it's tacky and would never do one myself but I have also seen friends host a party as a favor to one of their friends who is an agent. I would have no problem saying no to someone who asked me to host a party.

A cousin of mine sells Silpada and brought all of her catalogs to Thanksgiving dinner (unsolicited). She saw it as a great way for us to buy easy Christmas presents but it ended up being a great way for my grandmother to go broke buying overpriced necklaces for everyone (I do actually think their jewelry is tasteful and nice but its expensive--if you don't have a lot of money to spend at a party like this, its not like they offer inexpenisve options like measuring cups or lipstick).

Oddly enough, I have been to two parties like this in the past two years and both were in the city.

Actually that's not true. Silpada offers a number of less expensive items, such as earrings and rings. (I am not a Silpada rep, BTW)

[Anonymous]

I find the invite to these "parties" offensive. Mostly because its people who have never invited me over for anything else. And then they pretend they are having a party and everyone else acts like its a party. But come on - its a sales event. Call it what it is. I wouldn't mind if they were just honest and gave me an invite to look at the crap they are selling.

As far as supporting a friend. I have no problem giving money to a friend who needs it. I have a big problem spending money so that they can get a tiny little percent.

But I am also not a casual shopper. I don't just go to stores to browse and shop. And I try to avoid impulse buys. I'm guessing those that don't mind like to shop - just to shop. And if you enjoy it fine. Just understand when the rest of us don't want to go.

[Anonymous]

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

[Anonymous]

I hate these. I have a friend who has gotten into it and she is ALWAYS doing something - on the phone with her minions, or her "boss", or going somewhere, or going to a show....blah blah blah. Do you really actually make money on these things? Cause it seems like an awful lot of work for "part time".

Yes, I do make $$. Somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 per hour to work on my own terms, when I want, around my families schedule. Not to mention that it's REALLY fun! I meet so many wonderful women, many of whom have become my friends. All of my invites clearly state that it is a trunk show and friends are welcome to just say no. No offense taken. And I'm not pushy with sales and I don't really care if you come and drink wine and mingle and don't buy anything. It is more offensive to ignore the invite and not just say NO.

To my friends...I'm sorry you are offended, but my new job has changed my life. It has made me happier. It has made me a better mother. It has allowed my family to do things we couldn't have otherwise done - vacations, home improvements, more $$ for college funds. It is a REAL job regardless of what you think. And the truth is, if you are really a true friend why would you not want to support me? I've donated $$ to your charities, bid on items at YOUR school auction, bought girl scout cookies from your child, WATCHED your kid so you could go to work when your nanny was sick, etc. I don't get the anger about this! I'm not asking you to sell your firstborn, I'm hoping you will support my business and buy a $24 pair of earrings. If you don't, it won't change our friendship and it won't make me angry at you. It will make me angry and hurt if you talk behind my back without understanding exactly what my business is, how it works and most importantly, why it is so important to me and my sanity.

[Anonymous]

I do not want a $24 pair of earrings. I don't want to be invited to someone's house for a sales event. I am very supportive of my friends' jobs and families and efforts to make money, but I find these "parties" very manipulative. I don't invite my friends into my workplace and try to sell them the products my company offers. The parties at someone's home cross the line between friendship and commerce, and I find that very annoying, if not tacky. It definitely sours the friendship. Recently I met a woman who was very friendly and seemed very nice, but all of a sudden she asked me if I wanted to come to a party and try her line of products. Immediately, I was suspicious of her friendliness and I rethought the entire conversation I'd had with her. It made me mistrust her, and I hate that.

To the PP who does this for a living, good for you, but please don't invite ME. I'll say no, politely, but since these invites seem to come again and again and again from the same person, a polite "no" is never enough, which is another thing that irritates me about these "parties."

Also, it's not about supporting you, it's about supporting the company you work for. When I ask you to watch my child or contribute to a charity, it's completely different. Watching a child is a favor to a friend, usually reciprocated, and giving money to a charity is, well, a donation to a worthy cause, I'd hope. But buying a pair of earrings or a necklace when I want neither but want to "support" you is basically like asking for a monetary donation. Do you go around saying, "Could you please give me $10?" That's what it feels like to me, and no, I won't give you $10, I won't buy those earrings, and NO, I will not come to your party, even though you seem like a nice person, but NO, NO, NO!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's not about supporting you, it's about supporting the company you work for. When I ask you to watch my child or contribute to a charity, it's completely different. Watching a child is a favor to a friend, usually reciprocated, and giving money to a charity is, well, a donation to a worthy cause, I'd hope. But buying a pair of earrings or a necklace when I want neither but want to "support" you is basically like asking for a monetary donation. Do you go around saying, "Could you please give me $10?" That's what it feels like to me, and no, I won't give you $10, I won't buy those earrings, and NO, I will not come to your party, even though you seem like a nice person, but NO, NO, NO!!!

I'm the PP and I don't see my business as any different than if your friend opened a restaurant and asked you to come for dinner. Would you not want to support their new business? Or how about a friend who is in real estate and asks for your business? How is this any different? And yes, buying a $24 pair of earrings or coming to my show (even if you don't buy anything) is supportive to ME. It shows that you want to encourage my interests, and support my new business venture. It is NOT about supporting the company I work for. You are supporting ME. Or at least that's how I feel about it. I'm sorry if you feel like you're supporting the company and that our friendship means so little to you that you can't be happy for my success. That's how your NO, NO, NO comes across. Why are women so catty? Why can't we support each other and non-traditional work choices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's not about supporting you, it's about supporting the company you work for. When I ask you to watch my child or contribute to a charity, it's completely different. Watching a child is a favor to a friend, usually reciprocated, and giving money to a charity is, well, a donation to a worthy cause, I'd hope. But buying a pair of earrings or a necklace when I want neither but want to "support" you is basically like asking for a monetary donation. Do you go around saying, "Could you please give me $10?" That's what it feels like to me, and no, I won't give you $10, I won't buy those earrings, and NO, I will not come to your party, even though you seem like a nice person, but NO, NO, NO!!!

I'm the PP and I don't see my business as any different than if your friend opened a restaurant and asked you to come for dinner. Would you not want to support their new business? Or how about a friend who is in real estate and asks for your business? How is this any different? And yes, buying a $24 pair of earrings or coming to my show (even if you don't buy anything) is supportive to ME. It shows that you want to encourage my interests, and support my new business venture. It is NOT about supporting the company I work for. You are supporting ME. Or at least that's how I feel about it. I'm sorry if you feel like you're supporting the company and that our friendship means so little to you that you can't be happy for my success. That's how your NO, NO, NO comes across. Why are women so catty? Why can't we support each other and non-traditional work choices?

If you are going to start a business, you should have an actual target market. Your target market should not be your family and friends. That is not sustainable, and that is one of the many problems with these companies.

Signed,

Actual Business Owner Who Doesn't Hawk Goods to Family and Friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: It is NOT about supporting the company I work for.

Asking friends to give you money for things they usually do not need but feel pressured to buy anyway is horribly tasteless.
This "monetary support" principally benefits the company, not the individual vendor, and most people do not want to support this kind of company anyway. They would rather use their money to invite you to dinner or give to charity. There is a huge difference, that I hope you will understand in time - not expecting you to admit it here.

Anonymous wrote: I'm sorry if you feel like you're supporting the company and that our friendship means so little to you that you can't be happy for my success.

Classic emotional manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to start a business, you should have an actual target market. Your target market should not be your family and friends. That is not sustainable, and that is one of the many problems with these companies.

Signed,

Actual Business Owner Who Doesn't Hawk Goods to Family and Friends

Seriously? When you started your business you didn't look to your friends and family as good points of contact, people who could drive business to you, etc.? I find that hard to believe as someone who has started two businesses successfully. Yes, I approached my friends and family, but my business has grown beyond my friends and family now and is thriving!

I'm not at all offended if my friends don't want to buy the jewelry. I have plenty of friends who have not bought anything from me. What irks me is this negativity towards these businesses. They are real opportunities for women to build something and earn a good living without working 50+ hour weeks. And I'm loving every minute of it! If you don't want to go JUST SAY NO! How hard is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It is NOT about supporting the company I work for.

Asking friends to give you money for things they usually do not need but feel pressured to buy anyway is horribly tasteless.
This "monetary support" principally benefits the company, not the individual vendor, and most people do not want to support this kind of company anyway. They would rather use their money to invite you to dinner or give to charity. There is a huge difference, that I hope you will understand in time - not expecting you to admit it here.

You must be one of those DCUM who wears Danskos! My friends are incredibly stylish and LOVE the jewelry I sell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to start a business, you should have an actual target market. Your target market should not be your family and friends. That is not sustainable, and that is one of the many problems with these companies.

Signed,

Actual Business Owner Who Doesn't Hawk Goods to Family and Friends

Seriously? When you started your business you didn't look to your friends and family as good points of contact, people who could drive business to you, etc.? I find that hard to believe as someone who has started two businesses successfully. Yes, I approached my friends and family, but my business has grown beyond my friends and family now and is thriving!

I'm not at all offended if my friends don't want to buy the jewelry. I have plenty of friends who have not bought anything from me. What irks me is this negativity towards these businesses. They are real opportunities for women to build something and earn a good living without working 50+ hour weeks. And I'm loving every minute of it! If you don't want to go JUST SAY NO! How hard is that?

No, because they are not my target market. I actually created a business plan and didn't just blindly decide to do something because I thought I was going to be rich and have so much free time. Telling people about your business is different than expecting people to be your customers.

The negativity towards these "businesses" probably comes from the many lies that are told, the aggressive sales tactics, the constant recruiting, and the lives that these sort of "opportunities" have ruined. People go into all this debt thinking they are really starting a business and then they find out that no one wants to buy all this crap, and all the money is really in recruiting people.

http://www.pinktruth.com/ I showed a friend this site once and she became irate and said all sorts of nasty things to me. She then read through it and apologized because some of the tactics and scripts on here where the same things that people told her in order to get her to sign up.

I have no problem with people selling these products, but the dishonesty and sugar coating is irritating.

[Anonymous]

To my friends...I'm sorry you are offended, but my new job has changed my life. It has made me happier. It has made me a better mother. It has allowed my family to do things we couldn't have otherwise done - vacations, home improvements, more $$ for college funds. It is a REAL job regardless of what you think. And the truth is, if you are really a true friend why would you not want to support me? I've donated $$ to your charities, bid on items at YOUR school auction, bought girl scout cookies from your child, WATCHED your kid so you could go to work when your nanny was sick, etc. I don't get the anger about this! I'm not asking you to sell your firstborn, I'm hoping you will support my business and buy a $24 pair of earrings. If you don't, it won't change our friendship and it won't make me angry at you. It will make me angry and hurt if you talk behind my back without understanding exactly what my business is, how it works and most importantly, why it is so important to me and my sanity.

donating money to charities = helping people who truly need help

I'd watch your kid for sure, but not so that you would reciprocate by buying some of my crappy crap. I'd do it because I wanted to help you.

Look, I'm glad you enjoy your job, but honestly, people really don't make a great amount of money off of it. And it's annoying. If you were inviting me over every other week to buy you knitted toilet cozies or something, I'd be pissed as well. If I wanted a fricking cozie I would ask for one. So no, I don't want your $24 dollar earrings and I'm not supporting you when I (grudgingly) purchase them, I'm support the pyramid scheme that you work for and that you get some sort of percentage of. also, if I'm really your friend, invite me over sometime when purchasing things isn't involved.

[Anonymous]

"They are real opportunities for women to build something and earn a good living without working 50+ hour weeks. And I'm loving every minute of it! "

Oh really? You make $125,000 a year working only 30 hours a week? LOL.