So tired of living in the DC area. So sick of it. Warning..negative VENT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you'd be unhappy anywhere OP.

oh, shut up meanie...

[Anonymous]

OP, I am from the Midwest too and relate to many of your points although I find lack of representation in Congress to be most egregious and undemocratic. I fail to understand how people think DC is that great of a place to live for that reason. I guess if you've never had something you don't miss it.

We have only been here for 2 years and will not likely be for more than another 2. I really miss my Midwest which includes OH and WI. If I had my choice, I would move to
Chicago in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am from the Midwest too and relate to many of your points although I find lack of representation in Congress to be most egregious and undemocratic. I fail to understand how people think DC is that great of a place to live for that reason. I guess if you've never had something you don't miss it.

We have only been here for 2 years and will not likely be for more than another 2. I really miss my Midwest which includes OH and WI. If I had my choice, I would move to
Chicago in a heartbeat.

Hello!? DC is not a state. What a ridiculous argument and a crazy way to determine if you like an area.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am also from the Midwest. I have lived in DC (the city, not the suburbs) for about 8 years. I can certainly identify with some of what you say. I think it is certainly true that people in DC tend to work longer hours than in many other parts of the US, that traffic is bad, and that it can be much harder to accomplish things like getting to the grocery store than it would be in a smaller or less crowded city or town.

But I do hope that you are not making yourself more unhappy than necessary by painting everybody who lives in the area with an overly broad brush. For instance, I am biased since I am a lawyer, but many lawyers are perfectly nice people. There may be many people in this area who are very competitive and high-stress, but I have met many wonderful friends in DC who are smart and accomplished, but also funny, laid-back, and not assholes.

Anyway, I guess my point is that there is a risk when you start to generalize about all residents of the DC area that you will talk yourself out of forming good connections with people you would really like if you got to know them.

[Anonymous]

14:22, well, I am also from the Midwest - not Chicago - and I still think your brush stroke is fairly broad. Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio are similar, yet also very different. I grew up in a racially (and now ethnically) and socioeconomically diverse community. Yeah, some folks were "Big Tenners," totally focused on college and professional sports. Some folks did not have aspirations beyond our city. While most of the cuisine is American, there are also many ethnic restaurants and small grocery stores. Lots of fresh food and great meats/fish from the surrounding farm communities. What is painful is how bad the economy is there and how many are struggling.

Had my 25 year HS reunion a few years back and it was great to see folks. Some envied my world travels and current life; I envied how some of them have remained close friends since early childhood.

Just like DC is not a monolith, neither is the Midwest. While I probably could not return there and live on a 24/7 basis, I enjoy my visits and am grateful at how it shaped my worldview and how, to paraphrase from the president, my early years there helped me expand my "circle of concern."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your observations about DC resonate even though I like it here (because I have NYC and Boston as reference points), but it seems to me that the problem isn't DC but your husband. His wife is miserable and you apparently have the qualifications to make at least a little bit of money in a cheaper place, but he won't consider moving. How can the business make enough money to be worth staying for (and making you miserable) but not enough to have a good standard of living here? If he's a good enough businessman to make it here, who says he doesn't have a shot somewhere else (somewhere less cutthroat, where he can get away with earning less).

You are in a city that is a bad match for you, but you are also in a marriage that is keeping you in misery.

You can vent here to blow off steam, but it won't change anything. Your husband needs to hear that life here is unacceptable to you and then the two of you can figure out a way to make both of your lives livable.

I'm not one of these "dump the bastard" types. But it's his problem too. If my husband were keeping me in KS (sorry, folks; I don't like it there) I wouldn't leave him but I wouldn't stop working for a tolerable outcome.

OP here. No, you are wrong! I adore my husband and he IS the reason I stay! I have sta great marriage and that's why I am here. I knew I couldn't find HIM anywhere else. Part of being with him, means being HERE. Most days I can handle, but on many days, I just think it sucks and I need to blow steam! I love all of the responses but I don't have a bad marriage. HWe just figure we'll leave when we retire!!

I think we're talking past each other. I get that you love your husband and you said that's why you're here. But you hate it. And maybe he should also be saying, after 22 years in a city you don't like, "I have a great marriage and that's why I'm willing to move." Being with him only means being here if he is unwilling to make a change for you after a couple of decades of you dealing with this for him.

And again, I actually like DC.

I didn't say dump him. I said that give and take in this marriage could make you happy.

[Anonymous]

DC has more educated, intelligent and interesting people than large swaths of the midwest.

Sports and money aren't the only things people talk about.

My parents escaped the nosy, everyone knows your business syndrome in the midwest 50 years ago, and none of their descendants have moved back.

You say laid back, I say boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

11:41 again. Exactly. It all depends on where you live in DC. There are many warm communities in this region that aren't dominated by lawyers or lobbyists.

FWIW, I grew up in a lovely small town in Ohio and came to DC to attend Georgetown -- which I ended up hating and was so glad to move to Cleveland (yes, Cleveland) as a young adult, a town I really came to love. DC was the last place I ever wanted to live again but I came here for dh's job. For awhile we lived in Georgetown which was okay but not my cup of tea. But it wasn't until we moved east of the park that I fell in love with this city. OP, you can find people who you can relate to better but it will take some work. Try to keep an open mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

I couldn't agree more. I can visit my midwestern relatives for three days before I go stir crazy. A big trip to going to Chicago to shop or going to [fill in the blank] stadium. Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting I am also from the Midwest but I hold almost the complete opposite view.

The Midwest was terribly boring and people were uninterested in anything other than what was on TV and going to the mall. Adults were rarely into any types of sports other than watching them on TV. The only kids who strived academically were the ones dying to get out. For everyone else school and grades were no big deal as long as they had at least a C and didn't get grounded. No one traveled anywhere. Forget having a conversation about politics, a world event, a book, or anything in a museum. There was no diversity at all, no ethnic food or friends who grew up in other countries. I also found that people in the MidWest were more materialistic than people are here. Here people seem more into experiences. There is no stigma in living in a small old house that is not decorated or renovated or cool factor with getting the latest huge TV.

We don't hang around lawyers or lobbyists so we really don't have a window into the DC power culture. Everyone we know is pretty grounded and relaxed.

I couldn't agree more. I can visit my midwestern relatives for three days before I go stir crazy. A big trip to going to Chicago to shop or going to [fill in the blank] stadium. Yawn.

]
This really may have more to do with your relatives than Midwesterners....

[Anonymous]

Holy shit. It is so nitpicky of this area to pick apart the sentence rather than the message. Try not lawyering for a minute, this from a lawyer. Yes, D.C./VA/MD is SOUTH (gasp!) of the Mason/Dixon line. No, when people say "D.C." they don't always mean the city/District, sometimes they are referring to the area, in general: D.C./VA/MD. You get the picture. I believe this is part of what makes D.C. unbearable to some! Bend a little, people. Try not acting like such assholes.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP! We moved a few months ago away from DC and while I miss some truly wonderful people we met, the list is VERY LONG of things I do not miss.

You couldn't pay me enough to move back. Visit? Sure. But I just can't stomach raising my kids in the area. The traffic and entitlement alone keeps me away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP! We moved a few months ago away from DC and while I miss some truly wonderful people we met, the list is VERY LONG of things I do not miss.

You couldn't pay me enough to move back. Visit? Sure. But I just can't stomach raising my kids in the area. The traffic and entitlement alone keeps me away.

Where'd you move to? Is your new locale supportive of the dual working parent lifestyle? How are the job and educational opportunities? Not being able to deal with the traffic is a truly wimpish reason to stay away from DC.

Do people there read firsthand news or get all their world affairs info from cable and the internet?

[Anonymous]

16:25 - we have had opportunities (good ones) to leave, but didn't want to tempt fate. Does that make sense? Things seem okay status quo, so we didn't want to mess with it, so to speak. Perhaps this is a different post, and I don't mean to highjack, but were both you and your husband on board with moving? Were you okay uprooting the kids? Was it really not a big deal after all? How and what made you do it? Did you need a nudge?

Some people think this area is the be all and end all, and I hope we have not lost sight with reality (that it is not)!

It's obvious you can buy so much more house (and sanity) elsewhere. I really would prefer to raise my kids around normal people, without the traffic and entitlement you mentioned, among other things. If I stay I ask myself "do I really want to do this to my kids (long term)?" and if I go I ask myself the same, but short term (the act of moving and leaving their friends).

The people are generally so angry around here. It is as if they will never be happy, nor do they have the insight to realize it. You can tell by how they act in public. Thanks for any productive input. This is not OP, BTW.

[Anonymous]

At least move to a city with a few serious GOOD breakfast joints or Greek diners and good New York Style deli. DC is seriously lacking here..the Montgomery County suburbs anyway!