Do Students Run the Show at Sidwell Upper School?

[Anonymous]

I would make the point 17:20 that once you concede the ground by stating things are"unfortunate realities" you have sanctioned the behavior and abrogated your responsibility as a parent. The day will come when peoplel will here these young adults say these things when they are outside of the Sidwell bubble and there will be ramifications, not just on who they hurt with their thoughtlessness, but on them professionally .

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I would make the point 17:20 that once you concede the ground by stating things are"unfortunate realities" you have sanctioned the behavior and abrogated your responsibility as a parent. The day will come when peoplel will here these young adults say these things when they are outside of the Sidwell bubble and there will be ramifications, not just on who they hurt with their thoughtlessness, but on them professionally .[/quote]
I sanction and condone nothing about such comments. I would argue that a recognition of the prevalence of problems in youth behavior is more helpful to combatting problems than an attitude assuming only children of "bad" parents can do hurtful or wrong things. (For example, do you think every parent of a sexually active teen is condoning/permitting/encouraging that behavior?). I work with young people--not at Sidwell--and every day have to try to set a good example of tolerance and try to deal with statements displaying a lack of toleration if I hear them. What to do about the graffitti, the anonymous Facebook post or mass email? It's tough. Guys of this age group question sexuality a LOT as a first-strike insult, something I was surprised and unhappy to learn but have seen among teens of all socio-economic backgrounds. Not condoning it, nor language casually branding people "sluts" or "whores" (more the metier of Sidwell's poem), but we have a long way to go to eradicate it.

(Basically, I think we are in agreement, save for your view I condone a practice by noting it's prevalence.).

[Anonymous]

Anyone have a copy of the actual poem to post so we can judge for ourselves?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]These are traditions that started out as fun and clever, but have gotten out of hand. That can happen with teenagers. The administrators are clearly trying to deal with this -- they did, after all, tell the students who wrote the poem that they couldn't read it. The kids defied them, and my guess is that there will be consequences for doing so. The US has gone through a stretch without strong leadership from administrators, particularly last year when there was an interim Head of School and an interim US principal. Now, with a new team in place -- i.e., new Head of School, new US Principal, new US Dean of Students -- the disciplinary approach is changing. As a parent, I hope that other Sidwell parents will support their efforts to find a balance between nurturing an atmosphere where kids are encouraged to have fun and speak out, but also where everyone is expected to treat others with respect. I hope parents of kids at other schools will have the sense not to judge all Sidwell students based on the actions of a few kids. [/quote]

Hmm, let's see class of 2011 they would have been admitted for most part in 1997/98. I'd say that was in the thick of it for the" I want to send my child to the school where the President sends his child" frenzy. Is it a surprise to anyone that choices the AD made $$$$ back then have come home to roost.

[Anonymous]

perhaps Sidwell should send it along with their transcripts as a writing sample. Do any of the "ho*es" in question have a copy they'd like to share .I'm sure HYP would get a good chuckle out of what passes for intellect at Sidwell these days.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Could be, 15:24, but you would probably be unhappily surprised by how many teenaged children of progressive/liberal parents still make that kind of put-down. Maybe it's about sounding hyper-masculine, I don't know, but it is a sad reality.[/quote]

If the same teen made an antisemetic remark or used the N word would you suggest THAT was ok too because he was just compensating after all?? [/quote]
I am not suggesting it is okay; rather, that it is not only teens raised in an overtly homophobic environment who make comments like that. Such comments are more common than you think--it is a depressing reality, not an acceptable practice.[/qu

Someone said long ago , "it matters not what you accomplish in life if you botch the raising of your children". So I don't really care how liberal or progressive you see yourself if out of your front door every day leaves someone who makes mysoginistic and homophobic statements , you have some work to do at home.

[Anonymous]

19:23 : there is no correlation between a teen choosing to be sexually active and a teen choosing to use hate speach. One has to do with one's sexiuality which is a private and deeply individual matter. The other, hate speach, is by its nature a social ( or anti-social ) behavior and, yes, if after 18 years and over $420,000 in educational investment one's child opens their mouth and spews mysoginistic garbage , that parent has some work to do and obviously so does the school.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, I don't know any Sidwell teens, and I am not a prude, but I know several teens and NONE would write a poem like that. Tradition to be super foul and disgusting? What? That is not normal teen behavior, and if the school's only answer was, "well, you can't read that," ... I expect if I were a Sidwell parent, I would say, "well, you can't manage your senior class." Gross behavior all around. There wasn't some counselor at the school who could talk to the teens and get across to mini-adults who should have pretty high IQs why the poem was hurtful and unproductive? I find that hard to believe, which suggests that they did not really try. Look at the website people --- the first thing you see if you click on "Middle School - Life in the Middle School" is a diatribe about all the "counseling" they provide, specifically:

Several different kinds of support are offered to Middle School students. There is a nurse on duty on campus at all times. The Middle School Counselor is also available to provide emotional support to students and families. There is a learning specialist in the Middle School who is available to assist students who are having academic difficulty. Educational testing is available on-site during the school day if needed, and the school works with tutors who can provide on-going services to families as necessary. Parents are encouraged to express concerns in any of these areas to the advisor or homeroom teacher or to the Student Concerns Committee, which consists of the counselor, learning specialist, and assistant principal.

Seriously -- that is the first and thus apparently most important thing the school wants to tell the world about itself for middle school students? And by high school that is all gone? Depsite that the website says : "Upper School offers an intellectually challenging college preparatory program which encourages students to strive for academic excellence and to use their education for the betterment of the community at large. "

Encouragement for the community is to allow mysogyny and homophobia? I think not by any modern standard.

Something super weird is going on here. Maybe earlier poster who said that the upper school head had his/her head in the sand was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a copy of the actual poem to post so we can judge for ourselves?

It has too much specific info that can be linked to particular kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a copy of the actual poem to post so we can judge for ourselves?

It has too much specific info that can be linked to particular kids.

Just paste it and redact the names. I'm not a Landon parent, but if the stories of bad behavior involving Landon students were published (and rightly so), this poem should be made public as well.

I thought Sidwell was just failing to achieve high standards on the athletic fields, but I guess they are failing in terms of character development, too.

[Anonymous]

Well then ,if it is specific enough that the hurtful comments can be linked to individual kids and it was distributed in hard copy to the entire class , then it seems a good number of people have a law suit. Perhaps THEN the offenders and their parents will get the message.

[Anonymous]

US Head may not have thier head in the sand, perhaps it is just really hard to run a school when every intitiative you try to make has to run the guantlet of lawyer Dads and Moms who don't have the sense of decorum to stay in their place. I don't think the decision to go for the $$$$ in terms of who was admitted was made by the US Head, but this is certainly the bed he has to lie in. No doubt instead of making an act of contrition the parents who raised this offensive person who wrote the poem are no probably in the thick of it right now negotiating with the school so that their DC suffers no real consequences for his hate filled act.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Well then ,if it is specific enough that the hurtful comments can be linked to individual kids and it was distributed in hard copy to the entire class , then it seems a good number of people have a law suit. Perhaps THEN the offenders and their parents will get the message.[/quote]

Ummm, and what kind of lawsuit would that be?

[Anonymous]

Not a Sidwell parent and a bit shocked by this story. But 9:08 seems a little hate-filled herself.

[Anonymous]

wow, some people really like to extrapolate based on a few facts provided on this site.
all kids make mistakes. it doesn't make them bad people. the student s and school can learn from this.
nor is this an indictment on the school any more than any event elswhere is.
the pettiness of some of you, particularly those who keep harping on the cost of tuition at sidwell as somehow making this incident even more atrocious, or that this is somehow the result of an admissions surge 14 yrs ago, is striking.