Insults from childhood that cast a long shadow

[Anonymous]

Not an insult, per se, but I was 4 years old and was outside playing with other kids, including the visiting granddaughter of a neighbor down the block. That grandkid was several (3-4) years older than me.

Being blunt like little kids can be, I asked the girl why she was "fat"? She didn't answer me.

Later, the girl's mother and grandmother saw me alone in my backyard and invited me over to come and play with the girl in their yard.

When I went over, the grandmother grabbed me by the arm and held me while the girl's mother repeatedly kicked me in the rear end telling me that's what I get for calling her child "fat."

Horrifically wrong as it may have been, I was always very cautious about saying anything about anyone's weight ever since. So I guess it worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a young teenager, my mother told me “I always thought you’d turn out prettier.” I was the top student in my class, excelled in sports and debate, did community service and paid for all of my own clothes, etc., with babysitting jobs. But her accusation that I had disappointed her with my looks really stung.

I'm so sorry. My mom said something similar. Trying on homecoming dresses, she looked at my legs and said "I had such high hopes for you" and then let out a heavy sigh. Like you, I was a straight A student, in all honors classes, had a part-time after school job, involved in a million activities. But my none of that could make up for heavy calves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to remember that hurt people hurt people. The beautiful popular girl has insecurities too. Teenagers make a lot of mistakes with being unkind and hurtful. It particularly sucks that it’s a time period that really stays with people their whole lives and affects them, because almost everyone I know has done or said cruel things as children that they wish they could take back.

I hope therapy helps. I’ve forgiven my bullies in my head and that’s helped me heal.

The kind of funny (or sad) thing is a lot of experiences on here come from the poster's families. I for one believe it's perfectly okay to cut off any toxicity and there are no obligations just because we're related.

This helps me ensure that my kids grow up in a more healthier environment and hopefully won't have the same mental issues I have/had.

To outsiders I probably look like a bad/unappreciative kid. But I think it was a post on DCUM that said a sign of narcissist (or some other kind of trait/syndrome) where bad parents don't understand how bad they are.

[Anonymous]

^^^ or the other way I'll put it, is that while growing up, the one thing my parent would say, wait until you grow up and you'll see and know what it's like.

If anything at my age now, I see how my upbringing in their house and the way they were were even worse then I realized. Like stepping out of the looking glass.

I may end up regretting how our relationship turned out and that I wasn't a good/appreciative kid to them. But it was a big deal for me to keep my kids away from them and I can tell my siblings are the same way too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the third smallest boy in the class, usually picked next to last in sports - the person they stuck in right field. And, you guessed it, a bully target.

Naturally grew up to be 6' and started outrunning people in 10th grade. And body slammed the bully in the HS cafeteria senior year. Grow up? Move past it? Has changed how I look at the world. Can't stand it when people say things like, "a bully is really a coward". I don't care - stay the f'ck away from me.

This was my most-dreaded part of PE classes…..

God!
I HATED it when I had to stand in a group in front of the two PE team captains while they publicly selected who they wanted on their team. 😞

As someone who was unpopular as well as not very athletic - - I was always selected last.
Always.

It felt humiliating to be standing there alone in the end >> only being picked because I had to be.

(((( shudders ))))

Props to the PE teachers who described the activity, then said "count off."