How much time with boy/girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm clearly in the minority here. My 15-year-old and his GF hang out like four times a week, with and without their friends. It works really well (maybe because we live in New York and don't have to drive them around).

They do homework together. They go to the movies. They chat with her mother's cool friends. They spend some Sundays making soup. His grades are great and he meets his responsibilities. And if I know he's at her place (somewhat supervised), I know he's not running around getting into Who Knows What. No complaints.

That sounds wonderful and very healthy.

And if they break up, do either of them have any friends? It sounds like they're each other's main person and playing adult.

Of course they maintain a lot of other friendships, not playing adult.

And you think they're not sexually active? Are you naive?

Different poster, I think my 17 year old is sexually active with her boyfriend. She also has lots of other friends, strong grades, and other interests. All of these things are possible

Good luck when the inevitable break up happens.

DP - I also have a 17 year old DD in the same scenario. Yes, the break up will be rough but it would be pretty sad to go through life and choose not to experience things because of future emotional pain.

[Anonymous]

I know I’m in the way back machine here, but when I think back on my late 80s/early 90s dating life, these responses are so over the top, it’s insane. I had a bf who was a senior when I was a sophomore and we hung out 3-4 days a week including after school and on weekends. And the weekends were spent all over town in his car from 7pm to midnight. We made out in his car and walked around downtown fountains and kissed in the moonlight on benches at parks. No supervision at all, but firm over-the-clothes boundaries (definitely more my boundary than his). But there was so much trust given to us in the no cell-phone no-GPS tracker generation!
I also had another bf as a senior who went to a different school but I still saw him 3 times a week and yes, sometimes at the expense of spending time with friends since I saw them at school all the time. These responses of “in my house friends come first” is weird because your child should decide that.
I genuinely enjoyed being with my bf so much that he became my best friend and we eventually married after university. But even if we hadn’t, it was a valuable relationship and just as worthy of my time as my friends.
I think some of you forget what it was like to be 16, 17, 18. Let them live their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m in the way back machine here, but when I think back on my late 80s/early 90s dating life, these responses are so over the top, it’s insane. I had a bf who was a senior when I was a sophomore and we hung out 3-4 days a week including after school and on weekends. And the weekends were spent all over town in his car from 7pm to midnight. We made out in his car and walked around downtown fountains and kissed in the moonlight on benches at parks. No supervision at all, but firm over-the-clothes boundaries (definitely more my boundary than his). But there was so much trust given to us in the no cell-phone no-GPS tracker generation!
I also had another bf as a senior who went to a different school but I still saw him 3 times a week and yes, sometimes at the expense of spending time with friends since I saw them at school all the time. These responses of “in my house friends come first” is weird because your child should decide that.
I genuinely enjoyed being with my bf so much that he became my best friend and we eventually married after university. But even if we hadn’t, it was a valuable relationship and just as worthy of my time as my friends.
I think some of you forget what it was like to be 16, 17, 18. Let them live their lives.

Sounds charming but I bet you don't have close female friends that you hold as dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m in the way back machine here, but when I think back on my late 80s/early 90s dating life, these responses are so over the top, it’s insane. I had a bf who was a senior when I was a sophomore and we hung out 3-4 days a week including after school and on weekends. And the weekends were spent all over town in his car from 7pm to midnight. We made out in his car and walked around downtown fountains and kissed in the moonlight on benches at parks. No supervision at all, but firm over-the-clothes boundaries (definitely more my boundary than his). But there was so much trust given to us in the no cell-phone no-GPS tracker generation!
I also had another bf as a senior who went to a different school but I still saw him 3 times a week and yes, sometimes at the expense of spending time with friends since I saw them at school all the time. These responses of “in my house friends come first” is weird because your child should decide that.
I genuinely enjoyed being with my bf so much that he became my best friend and we eventually married after university. But even if we hadn’t, it was a valuable relationship and just as worthy of my time as my friends.
I think some of you forget what it was like to be 16, 17, 18. Let them live their lives.

Sounds charming but I bet you don't have close female friends that you hold as dear.

Also, how were her grades?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m in the way back machine here, but when I think back on my late 80s/early 90s dating life, these responses are so over the top, it’s insane. I had a bf who was a senior when I was a sophomore and we hung out 3-4 days a week including after school and on weekends. And the weekends were spent all over town in his car from 7pm to midnight. We made out in his car and walked around downtown fountains and kissed in the moonlight on benches at parks. No supervision at all, but firm over-the-clothes boundaries (definitely more my boundary than his). But there was so much trust given to us in the no cell-phone no-GPS tracker generation!
I also had another bf as a senior who went to a different school but I still saw him 3 times a week and yes, sometimes at the expense of spending time with friends since I saw them at school all the time. These responses of “in my house friends come first” is weird because your child should decide that.
I genuinely enjoyed being with my bf so much that he became my best friend and we eventually married after university. But even if we hadn’t, it was a valuable relationship and just as worthy of my time as my friends.
I think some of you forget what it was like to be 16, 17, 18. Let them live their lives.

Wow you got around in high school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m in the way back machine here, but when I think back on my late 80s/early 90s dating life, these responses are so over the top, it’s insane. I had a bf who was a senior when I was a sophomore and we hung out 3-4 days a week including after school and on weekends. And the weekends were spent all over town in his car from 7pm to midnight. We made out in his car and walked around downtown fountains and kissed in the moonlight on benches at parks. No supervision at all, but firm over-the-clothes boundaries (definitely more my boundary than his). But there was so much trust given to us in the no cell-phone no-GPS tracker generation!
I also had another bf as a senior who went to a different school but I still saw him 3 times a week and yes, sometimes at the expense of spending time with friends since I saw them at school all the time. These responses of “in my house friends come first” is weird because your child should decide that.
I genuinely enjoyed being with my bf so much that he became my best friend and we eventually married after university. But even if we hadn’t, it was a valuable relationship and just as worthy of my time as my friends.
I think some of you forget what it was like to be 16, 17, 18. Let them live their lives.

Wow you got around in high school!

This is absurd, a girl had 2 boyfriends in high school and she got around? It sounds like she had a happy healthy teenage life, I would hope for the same for my daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m in the way back machine here, but when I think back on my late 80s/early 90s dating life, these responses are so over the top, it’s insane. I had a bf who was a senior when I was a sophomore and we hung out 3-4 days a week including after school and on weekends. And the weekends were spent all over town in his car from 7pm to midnight. We made out in his car and walked around downtown fountains and kissed in the moonlight on benches at parks. No supervision at all, but firm over-the-clothes boundaries (definitely more my boundary than his). But there was so much trust given to us in the no cell-phone no-GPS tracker generation!
I also had another bf as a senior who went to a different school but I still saw him 3 times a week and yes, sometimes at the expense of spending time with friends since I saw them at school all the time. These responses of “in my house friends come first” is weird because your child should decide that.
I genuinely enjoyed being with my bf so much that he became my best friend and we eventually married after university. But even if we hadn’t, it was a valuable relationship and just as worthy of my time as my friends.
I think some of you forget what it was like to be 16, 17, 18. Let them live their lives.

Sounds charming but I bet you don't have close female friends that you hold as dear.

DP. The responses here are indeed odd. My 17 year old has several ride-or-die female friends as well as a boyfriend she adores and spends a totally reasonable amount of time with. Your kids have to learn to balance these types of relationships no matter what age they are.

[Anonymous]

I have a young teen in his first “real” relationship that basically consists of texting because the other parents won’t allow them to hang out. He’s asked her if she can go bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tennis, to the movies…etc. Her parents are “no” across the board. I think he should move on but that’s his call.

Personally I think the other parents are over the top on what essentially would be two friends hanging out in a public place for two hours. It’s their call to make though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen in his first “real” relationship that basically consists of texting because the other parents won’t allow them to hang out. He’s asked her if she can go bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tennis, to the movies…etc. Her parents are “no” across the board. I think he should move on but that’s his call.

Personally I think the other parents are over the top on what essentially would be two friends hanging out in a public place for two hours. It’s their call to make though.

I agree with you. I have a 14 year old who has had a boyfriend for 6 months and they do all of those things. Sometimes they hold hands or even kiss, which seems pretty harmless for young teens. I worry more about kids who aren’t allowed to have relationships and what they’ll be like as they age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen in his first “real” relationship that basically consists of texting because the other parents won’t allow them to hang out. He’s asked her if she can go bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tennis, to the movies…etc. Her parents are “no” across the board. I think he should move on but that’s his call.

Personally I think the other parents are over the top on what essentially would be two friends hanging out in a public place for two hours. It’s their call to make though.

Good for them! Tell your son to go chase another skirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen in his first “real” relationship that basically consists of texting because the other parents won’t allow them to hang out. He’s asked her if she can go bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tennis, to the movies…etc. Her parents are “no” across the board. I think he should move on but that’s his call.

Personally I think the other parents are over the top on what essentially would be two friends hanging out in a public place for two hours. It’s their call to make though.

I agree with you. I have a 14 year old who has had a boyfriend for 6 months and they do all of those things. Sometimes they hold hands or even kiss, which seems pretty harmless for young teens. I worry more about kids who aren’t allowed to have relationships and what they’ll be like as they age

Eek. A 14 year old who is already holding hands and kissing will quickly progress to sex by 15-16. Definitely not something to strive for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen in his first “real” relationship that basically consists of texting because the other parents won’t allow them to hang out. He’s asked her if she can go bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tennis, to the movies…etc. Her parents are “no” across the board. I think he should move on but that’s his call.

Personally I think the other parents are over the top on what essentially would be two friends hanging out in a public place for two hours. It’s their call to make though.

I agree with you. I have a 14 year old who has had a boyfriend for 6 months and they do all of those things. Sometimes they hold hands or even kiss, which seems pretty harmless for young teens. I worry more about kids who aren’t allowed to have relationships and what they’ll be like as they age

Eek. A 14 year old who is already holding hands and kissing will quickly progress to sex by 15-16. Definitely not something to strive for.

DP. You have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen in his first “real” relationship that basically consists of texting because the other parents won’t allow them to hang out. He’s asked her if she can go bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tennis, to the movies…etc. Her parents are “no” across the board. I think he should move on but that’s his call.

Personally I think the other parents are over the top on what essentially would be two friends hanging out in a public place for two hours. It’s their call to make though.

I agree with you. I have a 14 year old who has had a boyfriend for 6 months and they do all of those things. Sometimes they hold hands or even kiss, which seems pretty harmless for young teens. I worry more about kids who aren’t allowed to have relationships and what they’ll be like as they age

Eek. A 14 year old who is already holding hands and kissing will quickly progress to sex by 15-16. Definitely not something to strive for.

This is ridiculous. My oldest met her husband at 14 and held hands and kissed soon after but waited for sex until marriage. You make some odd assumptions.