How much time with boy/girlfriend

[Anonymous]

How much time do you let your young teen spend with their significant other? First real relationship over here.

[Anonymous]

Must prioritize schoolwork, ECs, family time and friends. Significant other comes after all that.

[Anonymous]

BF's parents insisted on me going to their house and socializing with the family if it was seeing him, say on Saturday if we had been out on Friday. Dinner with his family, board games, watching sports on tv. Whatever the family was doing. BF liked it less than I did. I didn't mind.

How old Op?

[Anonymous]

Weekends only and one day only.

[Anonymous]

As little as possible.

[Anonymous]

What do you define as young? 14/15? At that age, I would likely try to limit it, especially since parents are probably driving them back and forth unless they take Metro or it's walkable. I don't know, maybe a few times per week or so. But, as others said, all schoolwork would need to be done and they would have to see friends, too.

When they are older and can drive and get places on their own, I think it's different. My 17-year-old DD is in her first serious relationship and we don't restrict them too much. They probably see each other 3-4 times per week and still make time for school, activities, and friends.

[Anonymous]

We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

[Anonymous]

^ odd. useless. and harmful

[Anonymous]

My teen has been dating the same person for a little over 2 years. In the beginning it was typically once per week for a few hours. Now it is typically twice per week. One day after school where they are typically just doing homework next to each other or they’ll chit chat with me or walk the dog together, or they’ll have dinner with us or her family. One weekend which is sometimes a date but often hanging out at a house having a meal with tje family, watching tv with a sibling, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weekends only and one day only.

This. I’d be ok with two days if we didn’t have anything family or sports related going on the weekend, which is infrequent

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine having rules like this and treated it like any other friend when they were seeing someone. I don’t typically limit times with their friends but if their hang outs are interfering with other responsibilities, then it’s a no.

That was when they were younger. Are your kids in middle school or younger, OP? Or early HS where you are driving? Then it’s more about my schedule and what I am willing to do. Similar to any friend hang out.

I’m more concerned with other rules, like being alone in the house unsupervised and no mixed gender sleepovers at other houses. Stuff like that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Must prioritize schoolwork, ECs, family time and friends. Significant other comes after all that.

I agree, except they don’t need to come after friends. My HS BF and I often hung out together with our friend group anyway. I would not try to control or micromanage their time together unless the child is shirking responsibilities, their SO is acting controlling, SO is the only person with whom they ever socialize, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

+1 same. Complete waste of time and leads to no good.

[Anonymous]

Once a week at most. They’re just too busy. Fortunately both families are on same page.

[Anonymous]

We make sure they spend time with their actual friends first.