Why are rich people so cagey about money?

[Anonymous]

No one has touched on that people that are rich have money tied up in other things houses, investments, savings ect. I venmo with my friends for shared costs because we are all still living on a budget.

[Anonymous]

There are times when it’s welcome for you to pick up the check and times where it isn’t. I have friends who I regularly split lunch with, but I would just give them $10k in a second if they needed it.

The time to talk about covering expenses is usually when you invite them. Like if you say “hey do you want to go to this concert? Tickets my treat.” Then they can decide, and there’s no pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one has touched on that people that are rich have money tied up in other things houses, investments, savings ect. I venmo with my friends for shared costs because we are all still living on a budget.

Very true. We purchased 2 investment properties in 2026 and one is a total
gut job and all of the renovations and expenses are coming out of W2 income since our SLOC is maxed out. There’s no excess spending going on right now. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They pretend to be poor; nickel and dime everyone "did you send me your half of lunch via venmo?" In my experience, the richer someone is...the more "pretend poor" they are!

Can you explain this phenomenon?

This is your example of being "nickle and dimed"?

Pay for your damn lunch.

The phenomenon is you are a mooch and entitled for reasons that don't make a whole lot of sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people become wealthy because they are strategic with their money and do not waste it. That being said, rich people can also be very generous with their close friends. They value friendship and loyalty above everything else. One of my best friends has a net worth of over $500 million, while I am just a GS-13 government worker. He bought me a $100,000 car for my 50th birthday and lets me use many of his homes in Europe and South America. He even paid for my kids’ college tuition. To him, friendship and loyalty are the most important things in life.

Rich people are rich because we have a tax code that helps them and they steal the labor of others

As someone with 1.4Mmil in annual w-2 income please please tell
me where i can use this tax code and steal labor? because my CPA has politely told me that I’m fu@ked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They pretend to be poor; nickel and dime everyone "did you send me your half of lunch via venmo?" In my experience, the richer someone is...the more "pretend poor" they are!

Can you explain this phenomenon?

By adulthood, those of us who have saved a few pennies are experts at detecting entitled bums who think they deserve the good life of champagne and caviar just because.

Yeah no, the problem is you treat everyone who you think isn’t as rich/good at their job/ as you as if they are bums. And you see no value in helping other people out. When there is a joint expense you insist on strict 50-50 even if you outearn everyone. You try to control how other people spend their money based on how worthy you think they are. Within the family you pick favorites to spend your money on.

I have seen this time and time again with my rich bothers. They insist that they are being cheated if the poorest sibling doesn’t contribute exactly the same as they do. meanwhile I (an average earner) am quietly sending money to the relatives who need it because I care about them and trust them. They make huge drama over things that would cost them literally one fancy meal to resolve.

DP.

Now I know how my entitled relatives feel!

You phrase this as your brothers being cheap, but I suspect you think they should shut up, write blank checks, and ask no questions when someone demands something - you know, like lunch.

And the reason they probably don’t “trust” relatives is because they’ve been burned.

They are free to pay what they want but not order other people to pay what they deem to be appropriate. Because it’s the other way around - they tell me what I have to pay for our joint responsibilities!

And beyond that - I realize that their money is theirs; but yeah, I do find it a bit astonishing that they’d rather engage in elaborate ways to ensure they wring out every penny from a situation with family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has touched on that people that are rich have money tied up in other things houses, investments, savings ect. I venmo with my friends for shared costs because we are all still living on a budget.

Very true. We purchased 2 investment properties in 2026 and one is a total
gut job and all of the renovations and expenses are coming out of W2 income since our SLOC is maxed out. There’s no excess spending going on right now. None.

You’re not rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has touched on that people that are rich have money tied up in other things houses, investments, savings ect. I venmo with my friends for shared costs because we are all still living on a budget.

Very true. We purchased 2 investment properties in 2026 and one is a total
gut job and all of the renovations and expenses are coming out of W2 income since our SLOC is maxed out. There’s no excess spending going on right now. None.

You’re not rich.

we we have about 10min invested and that excludes commercial and residential real estate. Does this make us middle class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has touched on that people that are rich have money tied up in other things houses, investments, savings ect. I venmo with my friends for shared costs because we are all still living on a budget.

Very true. We purchased 2 investment properties in 2026 and one is a total
gut job and all of the renovations and expenses are coming out of W2 income since our SLOC is maxed out. There’s no excess spending going on right now. None.

You’re not rich.

lolol! How would you even know this? Or did you start drinking early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has touched on that people that are rich have money tied up in other things houses, investments, savings ect. I venmo with my friends for shared costs because we are all still living on a budget.

Very true. We purchased 2 investment properties in 2026 and one is a total
gut job and all of the renovations and expenses are coming out of W2 income since our SLOC is maxed out. There’s no excess spending going on right now. None.

You’re not rich.

we we have about 10min invested and that excludes commercial and residential real estate. Does this make us middle class?

By DCUM standards yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They pretend to be poor; nickel and dime everyone "did you send me your half of lunch via venmo?" In my experience, the richer someone is...the more "pretend poor" they are!

Can you explain this phenomenon?

By adulthood, those of us who have saved a few pennies are experts at detecting entitled bums who think they deserve the good life of champagne and caviar just because.

Yeah no, the problem is you treat everyone who you think isn’t as rich/good at their job/ as you as if they are bums. And you see no value in helping other people out. When there is a joint expense you insist on strict 50-50 even if you outearn everyone. You try to control how other people spend their money based on how worthy you think they are. Within the family you pick favorites to spend your money on.

I have seen this time and time again with my rich bothers. They insist that they are being cheated if the poorest sibling doesn’t contribute exactly the same as they do. meanwhile I (an average earner) am quietly sending money to the relatives who need it because I care about them and trust them. They make huge drama over things that would cost them literally one fancy meal to resolve.

DP.

Now I know how my entitled relatives feel!

You phrase this as your brothers being cheap, but I suspect you think they should shut up, write blank checks, and ask no questions when someone demands something - you know, like lunch.

And the reason they probably don’t “trust” relatives is because they’ve been burned.

They are free to pay what they want but not order other people to pay what they deem to be appropriate. Because it’s the other way around - they tell me what I have to pay for our joint responsibilities!

And beyond that - I realize that their money is theirs; but yeah, I do find it a bit astonishing that they’d rather engage in elaborate ways to ensure they wring out every penny from a situation with family members.

What exactly are they ordering you to pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They pretend to be poor; nickel and dime everyone "did you send me your half of lunch via venmo?" In my experience, the richer someone is...the more "pretend poor" they are!

Can you explain this phenomenon?

Perhaps you're referring to the UMC people on DCUM who like to brag about getting groceries from the dollar store and driving around in 20-year-old Toyotas. But that's not how most wealthy individuals are.

The wealthy people I've encountered don't act like they're broke. They truly embrace a lifestyle that reflects their wealth.

[Anonymous]

Pick up the tab and ask THEM where their half is, lol.

[BethesdaMom2014]

I think it's less about being cagey and more about not wanting money to change the dynamic of a friendship. Once people know you have money, every interaction gets filtered through that lens. I've seen friendships ruined over assumptions about who should pay for what.