DH sulks constantly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my wife is the same. Not just to me, but with the kids as well. We've all learnt to walk on eggshells. But similar to your husband, when she says something, we are supposed to accept it and move on.

Who cares. Does she drain your balls and keep your belly full? Do you give her orgasms at night? It just sounds like you were always incompatible. Why do you folks marry people you know are difficult personalities going in? Marriage and raising kids is hard enough as is even when the spouses are generally pleasant to each other.

Are these arranged marriages or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you feel a cold coming on, he gets upset and doesn't talk to you for a few days. This isn't rational behavior. Have you tried couples counseling?

Not quite. OP gratuitously blamed her husband for her catching the cold. Then rejected out of hand his suggestion to take some OTC concoction which neither prevents nor cures colds (look at the packaging if you disagree- that stuff isn't medicine.)

I'm wondering how many years of her blaming her husband for everything bad in their lives has been going on. I don't blame him for getting fed up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How frequently does he have theses pouting episodes? And, what kinds of things set him off?

I’d say they’re probably twice a month. Most recently, he got upset when I told him I wasn’t feeling well and may have picked up the cold he just recovered from. He told me I needed to start taking emergen-C right away, to which I replied I don’t think that’s going to cure it, you have to be taking it as prevention to boost your immune system. His face immediately dropped and I asked him what was wrong. He told me that I was making him feel like it’s all his fault, that he doesn’t know how to be around me, and that he needs time to decompress. I checked in with him later that night and he said he was still upset. So now we’re not speaking.

.

I’m sorry OP. This is a terrible way to live. This is not the reaction of a loving or understanding spouse. This reaction is emotionally immature and self-centered. Is he really only treating you this horribly and not your child too? People this self centered and disregulated tend to treat all family members in their orbit the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, he’s always been like this even before we married. I was too inexperienced at the time to understand what a red flag it would be for a marriage and raising children.

Like a PP mentioned, it has definitely affected my desire to be close to him. All physical attraction has gone out the window. And then he wonders why I never want to be intimate.

I don’t leave because we have a SN child, otherwise I would. I’m trying to find ways to fill my time and find fulfillment through friends and hobbies, but this is tough.

The last sentence of your OP is that you feel like you might be better off apart. This post says you won't leave because of your child. You say here your husband was like this before you got married. What do you want us to do for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Being transparent..

I've done this before. Sometimes my silence is just the time I need to process and move on.

Therapy assisted greatly. Essentially it's harder to get over and move on from things ..

I'm working on it.. All I got DCUM

That's my mom and she has all sorts of dysfunctional relationships with her kids.
She was always the star of her show. I guess she had so many kids because she needed an audience and the applause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone see my post about the most recent example? Is this normal?

I don’t think he’s doing it to be controlling. He is highly emotional. But to me that’s not an excuse to act in a way that ends up looking the same as someone who is trying to control you with the silent treatment.

"Highly emotional" is a synonym for childish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How frequently does he have theses pouting episodes? And, what kinds of things set him off?

I’d say they’re probably twice a month. Most recently, he got upset when I told him I wasn’t feeling well and may have picked up the cold he just recovered from. He told me I needed to start taking emergen-C right away, to which I replied I don’t think that’s going to cure it, you have to be taking it as prevention to boost your immune system. His face immediately dropped and I asked him what was wrong. He told me that I was making him feel like it’s all his fault, that he doesn’t know how to be around me, and that he needs time to decompress. I checked in with him later that night and he said he was still upset. So now we’re not speaking.

My DH is similar. You might get some validation from reading about covert/vulnerable narcissism or rejection-sensitive dysphoria. The best thing would be to divorce him but at least find some sanity until then.

Mine gets mad at me whenever he does something “wrong”, even if I had nothing to do with it and couldn’t care less.

Ignore the PP who is going on about you not satisfying him. Dealing with these episodes will make you drier than the Sahara - I get it.

[Anonymous]

When I was younger (20s), I did give my husband the silent treatment, but it lasted two days at most, never four or more. I also hit my husband when I was angry a few times, but learned skills to manage.

[Anonymous]

Full blown man-baby

[Anonymous]

This sounds exactly like my ex-fiance and yes, it is very exhausting. Losers do that and I have seen mostly women doing it. this is emotionally abusive habit that would not go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was younger (20s), I did give my husband the silent treatment, but it lasted two days at most, never four or more. I also hit my husband when I was angry a few times, but learned skills to manage.

so, you were emotionally and physically abusive to your DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, he’s always been like this even before we married. I was too inexperienced at the time to understand what a red flag it would be for a marriage and raising children.

Like a PP mentioned, it has definitely affected my desire to be close to him. All physical attraction has gone out the window. And then he wonders why I never want to be intimate.

I don’t leave because we have a SN child, otherwise I would. I’m trying to find ways to fill my time and find fulfillment through friends and hobbies, but this is tough.

The last sentence of your OP is that you feel like you might be better off apart. This post says you won't leave because of your child. You say here your husband was like this before you got married. What do you want us to do for you?

+1

[Anonymous]

does he act like this at work or when work colleagues upset him? if he behaves at work but saves the silent treatment for you, then he's fully capable of managing his emotions but chooses not to. selfish.

[Anonymous]

Why did you marry him? You made a bad decision back then. Now you keep making bad decisions by staying with this abuser. You’ll never learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was younger (20s), I did give my husband the silent treatment, but it lasted two days at most, never four or more. I also hit my husband when I was angry a few times, but learned skills to manage.

so, you were emotionally and physically abusive to your DH?

No