What do your son-in-law or daughter-in-law call you?

[Anonymous]

My in laws have first names. I use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws have first names. I use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They avoid calling me anything. Just like I did, with my in-laws. There's lots of love there. But it's awkward, the issue of what to call the in-laws. Certainly not Mom & Dad. But first names don't sound right either.

I called the in-laws by their first name but only when it was truly essential to address them.

Why don’t first names sound right? Everyone is an adult. I call my 60 year old workers by their first names.

+1

[Anonymous]

My MIL said I could call her mom like her other DIL.

My mom had just died and I couldn’t do it. And it just felt weird to me. It’s been first name or grandma.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are from different cultures and I am expected (by the parents in law) to call them some specific names in their language. DH called mine Mr and Mrs until kids and now grandparent names.
There are also grandparent names in my in laws language so we generally use those now. They are easier for me to remember than the names I as DIL used to call them. Even if I get razzed for my pronunciation. Hugely thankful we only see them once every several years.

[Anonymous]

My paternal uncle's wife (married before I was born, so she is an aunt to me) calls my paternal grandparents Mama Last Name and Papa Last Name. They are very formal and are called Grandmother and Grandfather by all grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws have first names. I use them.

Feeling judged, Meemaw?

[Anonymous]

First names. My MIL pulled me aside after DH and I got engaged and said "I never knew what to call my MIL and I want you to know that you can just call me FirstName". I always appreciated that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws have first names. I use them.

Feeling judged, Meemaw?

LOL. Nope, not a grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First names. My MIL pulled me aside after DH and I got engaged and said "I never knew what to call my MIL and I want you to know that you can just call me FirstName". I always appreciated that.

That is really nice that she made you feel comfortable! I’m going to try to remember to do that.

[Anonymous]

My kids called them gma and gpa so I did thw same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First names. My MIL pulled me aside after DH and I got engaged and said "I never knew what to call my MIL and I want you to know that you can just call me FirstName". I always appreciated that.

That is really nice that she made you feel comfortable! I’m going to try to remember to do that.

My MIL did that too, except she wanted to be called mom. I like her a lot but I didn't want to. It made for quite a few awkward years until we had kids and she became grandma.

[Anonymous]

Weirdly enough I call my inlaws by their first names. But I call their parents (my grandparents-in-law)- grandma and grandpa. I just couldn't imagine calling someone 80+ by their first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant and I called my parents-in-law the same honorific titles in my native language that I used for my parents.

What do your DIL, SIL call you. or what do you call your ILs?

First names most of the time- I fairly frequently accidentally call them mom and dad. We’ve been together 30 years and started happening in the last 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First names. Now that we have a grandchild, that might change to Grandma/Grandpa.

Why? They didn’t become your grandparents when you had a child. When talking to your child you would say “we’re going to grandma's” but when you speak to them directly you should still use their names. It would be weird for you to see your MIL and say Hi Grandma!

NP. I would have thought this, too, before I had kids. But the reality is, when you see your MIL and are greeting her, your kids are usually standing right there with you! So “Hi Grandma!” ends up feeling right. Most of my interactions with my ILs and most of my husband’s interactions with my parents (his ILs) currently happen with or in the presence of our children (ages 6, 4, and 1).

We both ostensibly call them by their first names, and do on the rare cases we’re together without the kids, but the reality is most of the time we’re using their grandparent names. Perhaps that will change once the kids are older and aren’t so immediately under foot all the time!

+1

I call my in laws first names (and my husband does this with my parents as well) but often it’s Grandpa, etc. because the kids are around. Some people do this and some people don’t. It’s the same instinct that makes some people call their spouse Mom or Dad around small children.