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I am not a proponent of violence nor do I justify what Betty did to her ex-husband ➕ his new wife - - but c’mon now…..
She supported him while he attended both law + medical school, gave him four lovely children AND was a great housewife (cooking/cleaning/etc.) She invested everything for this person yet as soon as he met a younger woman w/a prettier bow he totally disregarded his first wife. And he had a lot of clout in San Diego (I remember since I lived there then!) that he was holding all the strings. Betty didn’t stand a chance > she would be stripped of everything she had ->> including her children’s love. Dan (her ex) gaslit and lied to her, he denied he was cheating on her and blamed her emotional instability for her suspicions! 🤯 When someone as emotionally fragile as Betty was at that point loses her entire livelihood and is easily disposed of for something younger + prettier, then there will be repercussions. Again, not exonerating Betty taking the law into her own hands (no pun intended), but what he put her through was a crummy way to repay her for all her support through the years………. |
In spite of everything, it is nice to know that all four of her kids were at her deathbed. Her son stated that before she killed their Father, he has memories of her being a wonderful Mother prior. |
Oh ok then. Yay for her. Good she got her revenge. I hope it gave her peace. |
He was just enthralled and captivated by her beauty. Betty once said that the first time he saw her, he couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. Not something loving husband needs to say in front of his unsuspecting wife imo. |
| What kind of a woman cheats with a guy who has a wife and four kids at home? And the very least Dan could have done was be kind and generous to Betty after breaking her heart and destroying her identity. He did the opposite. Dan and Linda were scum. I wish Betty had moved on with her life and healed, but I can understand why she hated them so much. Poor kids. |
| She is a murderer because $42k a month wasn’t enough yet people here are desperate to paint her as the victim. Switch the genders and people here would be blaming the man for killing her. No surprise DCUM. |
| I think every adult involved in this scenario is an ahole. I don't condone what Betty did but I understand the rage that led to her actions. |
Get your facts straight. She was receiving $16K/mo whule he was pulling in $140k/mo. It wasn’t the money it was a symbol of the way he discarded and sought to destroy her. She was a Catholic mother who worked to pay for his schooling while bearing five children and raising four. DCUM is usually eviscerating to women but seems to get it on extreme abuse. And very few women kill their husbands. Get back to us when the leading cause of death for pregnant women isn’t being killed by their partners. |
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Dan began his affair in the early 80s. Women did not have the same options for restarting their careers that they do today. (Remember when Marcia Clark was scolded by a judge, and no one batted an eye, over her childcare situation. And that in the 90s.)
Betty had been out of workforce for years raising their children. Even today, women worry about the impact of that on their careers. |
| Many years ago I read Until the Twelfth of Never by Bella Stumbo about the case. It was a good read. Dan treated her badly and she also did a lot of self-destructive moves. As I recall, after the divorce she dated someone who really liked her and wanted to get serious but she drove him away with her obsession over Dan and Linda. She should have tried hard to move on but she could not or would not. The two of them were portrayed as being sadistic to her but she had no self-control and was unable to function. Then after she killed them, she represented herself in court which is idiotic. Yet her reasoning was probably true: she said he was very connected in San Diego legal circles and she felt like everyone was against her. I had a friend who worked in the SD legal world who said this was true about him However, this was a bad decision. She made many and was guilty of killing them. But the portrait of Dan and Linda from the book is that they were superficial, shallow jerks. I recommend the book if anyone is interested. |
What does this have to do with anything? She didn't express any interest in working and with the equivalent of $42k/month in alimony certainly didn't need to. |
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She was probably perimenopausal too which wasn’t even a thing in the 80’s. Her husband was a manipulative jerk. And she made things easy for him.
It’s a tragedy all around, but I don’t think it would have happened if he had treated her with respect during the divorce. |
| She got her revenge and I'm sure that it was worth it to her. "Normal" people won't be able to understand how satisfying it was for her to end their lives. It likely comforted her through all her losses and years in prison. |
100% |
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While I wouldn’t kill a man who betrayed me like this -> I can certainly empathize with the pain such behavior would make me want to.
I would have just gotten therapy, then focused on my children while rebuilding my life. Betty was not a poor, ugly hopeless woman. She could have moved on. She didn’t have to go on food stamps to survive - she had enough $ to live a decent life. She could have healed herself and even remarried. But not all of us can get over that amount of emotional pain and humiliation though sadly. I hope she finally has found the peace that eluded her in this life. |