Birthday Parties Too Much Work

[Anonymous]

We do small parties for our only 4th grader. Yes, it's work, but honestly, it's just 7-8 school friends, we've known them all since K. They play a little, do a craft, pinata, cake and done.

[Anonymous]

It's only a lot of work if you make it a lot of work. It only costs a lot of money if you pick an expensive venue. We've done a mixture of at home parties and venue parties. As long as kids are with friends, they have a good time. The biggest hit for my 12 year old last year was giant bubbles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post title is asking about "too much work" re: bday parties, but youre not asking about a conventional kid party at your house or the nearby Sky Zone.

You're talking about a formal bday party for your kid??
"Formal" as in a quincera?

Skyzone, bounce house, etc. not just in your backyard with mostly family and two neighborhood kids. Clearly everyone else knows what I was referring to.

I just thought you meant a regular birthday party. So you're talking about a venue party. Those, in my opinion, are the easiest parties of all. You don't have to do anything except hand over a credit card!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The onerous part of kid part venues is the $500-1000 price tag.

As someone who could not afford that for years, that is in fact the onerous part. It was really stressful for a few years there when it seemed like everyone else was doing these venue parties and we couldn't afford it. We would host smaller parties but I can tell sometimes the kids have very specific expectations (because they are so used to doing the venue parties so a party in a backyard or at a park without that level of entertainment doesn't seem right to them). We would also feel guilty letting our kid go to the venue parties when we could never host one. The whole thing sucked and I hated it, so I was really glad when the venue parties died off and instead kids do small group parties, usually with some kind of outing (roller skating, movie, etc.). That's generally less expensive than the venues because you are just hosting a small group of kids.

I wish the default for little kid parties was: local park of backyard, pizza or other easy and simple food, cake, kids run around and play. The venue parties are such a burden when you are on a tight budget. I don't care what rich people do but we are in a middle class neighborhood and I resent that this is where the culture has gone.

I basically threw this exact party when my oldest turned 8. Two kids told me”it was the best party I ever went to” and one told me “I’m not having fun. This party sucks.” So you have to have a thick skin and not care about that sort of thing. The rude kid ended up being a bully at school in older years.
Now that my kids are older I take a small group to a venue which I can afford. The whole class party I could not. But it seems like everyone regardless of income spends on those parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think my biggest point of stress is attendance. How many people will RSVP and even then how many of them will actually show up? How much food should I get? Will my child be sad if only 2 people show up? Is this even worth it? We’ve moved around a lot, so maybe other people here have a strong social network and don’t have this anxiety?

How old are your kids? At younger ages (preschool - 1st), we did whole class parties at a bounce house place. Maybe half the class showed up. For the rest of elementary school, we invited 10-15 kids at venues or at home and maybe 50-70% came. Now that they're older, they invite 3-5 of their closest friends and we take them out to dinner and come home for a hang out. Ordering food is easy - you add 10% to the number who RSVPed and use an online pizza calculator to order pizza, pick up a veggie tray, and a dozen or two cupcakes. We've also done chick-fil-a catering and chipotle catering. You'll have leftovers no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The onerous part of kid part venues is the $500-1000 price tag.

As someone who could not afford that for years, that is in fact the onerous part. It was really stressful for a few years there when it seemed like everyone else was doing these venue parties and we couldn't afford it. We would host smaller parties but I can tell sometimes the kids have very specific expectations (because they are so used to doing the venue parties so a party in a backyard or at a park without that level of entertainment doesn't seem right to them). We would also feel guilty letting our kid go to the venue parties when we could never host one. The whole thing sucked and I hated it, so I was really glad when the venue parties died off and instead kids do small group parties, usually with some kind of outing (roller skating, movie, etc.). That's generally less expensive than the venues because you are just hosting a small group of kids.

I wish the default for little kid parties was: local park of backyard, pizza or other easy and simple food, cake, kids run around and play. The venue parties are such a burden when you are on a tight budget. I don't care what rich people do but we are in a middle class neighborhood and I resent that this is where the culture has gone.

I basically threw this exact party when my oldest turned 8. Two kids told me”it was the best party I ever went to” and one told me “I’m not having fun. This party sucks.” So you have to have a thick skin and not care about that sort of thing. The rude kid ended up being a bully at school in older years.
Now that my kids are older I take a small group to a venue which I can afford. The whole class party I could not. But it seems like everyone regardless of income spends on those parties.

My kids have spring birthdays, so we did playground parties when they were little. We lived near two really good playgrounds, one was next to a community center and one was next to a library, so we knew there would be bathrooms available. We also did them as brunch parties with donuts because it was cooler in the mornings. It gets harder when they're older and have sports. Then the evening parties make more sense.

[Anonymous]

We did big house parties until about 11, when DS requested smaller parties. So we would go somewhere with him and about 6-7 friends (so that DH and I would be the only drivers). Escape room and pizza. Mini golf and Chipotle. Etc. Last year he and 3 friends went to Dave and Busters.

[Anonymous]

Only having sex without protection was easy.

[Anonymous]

We do really big and fun birthday parties - catered food, everyone invited, servers, goodybags, entertainment, photos etc.

Why? Because our parents did that for us and I remember those days fondly. And excitement for birthdays is only when you are a kid.