Did anyone pick out an engagement ring and just tell their fiancé to buy it and do the proposal part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband proposed without the ring. We were being gifted jewelry to have remade into wedding jewelry, and it was COVID, so we got engaged with the original jewelry (which was not a ring but had small heirloom diamonds in it), and then found a jeweler we liked and had custom rings made.

Please don’t say gifted.

Why? The jewelry was a gift from my grandmother. So gifted is an accurate description of what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I know lots of couples who went ring shopping together. My DH and I did and I picked out the ring/setting together. He followed up with the jeweler, picked out the stone, bought it and then planned the proposal.

OP, no I mean I pick it out on my own. I don’t want to shop together (that sounds awful by the way - my partner is not materialistic and hates shopping, and I am sloooow and would want to go everywhere and look online and read reviews, etc).

Shallow marrying Non-materialistic.

What could go wrong?

Don't be nasty.

OP, do your own research and find your One Ring, and then bring your fiance back with you to show it to him. Seems like a great plan!

This whole stupidity of having men chose for their future wives is so misogynist. Are women fine with wearing something for years that they didn't select themselves, and that might not be entirely to their taste? It should not be a litmus test that a man should divine exactly what ring his girlfriend wants. It's not just color preference or setting preference - some ring shapes/designs just aren't comfortable to wear, and that's not something men necessarily think about, since most won't even think of trying on the ring themselves.

I encourage all women to try on multiple rings, and then decide.

In the context of proposals, you think THE RING is the misogynistic part? Not the fact that the time, place and format of the proposal, as well as the overall decision about whether to propose at all, must be apparently left in the control of the man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I know lots of couples who went ring shopping together. My DH and I did and I picked out the ring/setting together. He followed up with the jeweler, picked out the stone, bought it and then planned the proposal.

OP, no I mean I pick it out on my own. I don’t want to shop together (that sounds awful by the way - my partner is not materialistic and hates shopping, and I am sloooow and would want to go everywhere and look online and read reviews, etc).

Shallow marrying Non-materialistic.

What could go wrong?

Don't be nasty.

OP, do your own research and find your One Ring, and then bring your fiance back with you to show it to him. Seems like a great plan!

This whole stupidity of having men chose for their future wives is so misogynist. Are women fine with wearing something for years that they didn't select themselves, and that might not be entirely to their taste? It should not be a litmus test that a man should divine exactly what ring his girlfriend wants. It's not just color preference or setting preference - some ring shapes/designs just aren't comfortable to wear, and that's not something men necessarily think about, since most won't even think of trying on the ring themselves.

I encourage all women to try on multiple rings, and then decide.

In the context of proposals, you think THE RING is the misogynistic part? Not the fact that the time, place and format of the proposal, as well as the overall decision about whether to propose at all, must be apparently left in the control of the man?

Women like to be asked. Women are famous for not asking me out. That's biological reality because evolution made men and women different. The more you know about evolution and its consequences, the more the old rules make sense. You should read more broadly.