Is having a crush on someone at work considered cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I mean having feelings for someone while married is kinda’ off.

Well marriages aren't perfect and after decades of marriage I can see having a crush. Escapist fantasy, harmless.

Women will be women. They are so emotionally driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't need to consider it "a crush". You can control how you react.

You control how you ACT. You don't control how you FEEL. Because, man, those crushes can sneak up on you. But once you do realize you have agency.

No, a crush isn't cheating. Indulging in the feelings and acting on those feelings is cheating.

You do control how you feel by not dwelling on those feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked my DH if he had ever had a work crush. He said no. Then he said he considered that to be cheating. I am very surprised about this. I think a crush is innocent unless either party acts on it.

Having a crush on someone is not the same as finding someone attractive.

Finding someone attractive is innocent. Having a crush is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crushes are healthy and normal. They're an outlet for fantasy and wishful thinking, and allow humans to avoid more socially-damaging forms of seeking affection.

It's so sad some people don't understand this.

Only “normal” in western culture. Crushes are the catalyst to the 52% US divorce rate. Crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crushes are healthy and normal. They're an outlet for fantasy and wishful thinking, and allow humans to avoid more socially-damaging forms of seeking affection.

It's so sad some people don't understand this.

Only “normal” in western culture. Crushes are the catalyst to the 52% US divorce rate. Crazy

It's actually around 40%.

Def lower in countries where women aren't allowed to leave--we will give you that!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I mean having feelings for someone while married is kinda’ off.

Well marriages aren't perfect and after decades of marriage I can see having a crush. Escapist fantasy, harmless.

+1
It’s also nice to imagine this person is perfect. The fact that I know they are not perfect and DH is better than most will prevent any action on my part - and in the case where they actually flirt with me - it makes me back away big time. I don’t flirt - I admire from a distance, just like I do with Hugh Jackman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crushes are healthy and normal. They're an outlet for fantasy and wishful thinking, and allow humans to avoid more socially-damaging forms of seeking affection.

It's so sad some people don't understand this.

Only “normal” in western culture. Crushes are the catalyst to the 52% US divorce rate. Crazy

It's actually around 40%.

Def lower in countries where women aren't allowed to leave--we will give you that!!

Fun Fact -
Divorce rates are 5% in the case where both in the marriage have PhDs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Despite what some pastors will try to tell you, your thoughts are your thoughts and you can’t always control them. You can control your actions, and if you don’t like your thoughts that feel crush-like, you can minimize your interactions with the other person.

Your thoughts show your true self. Thoughts aren't harmless.
You can't convince me that it's acceptable to think about having sex with a minor just because you're not acting on it. The mere existence of those thoughts is troubling. Saying things like I can't help these thoughts is even more concerning. Yes, i’m using this as an example to show how stupid it his.

If you have a crush on a co-worker and find yourself thinking about them, it means you are, at your core, unfaithful.

Wow - real life thought police!

[Anonymous]

We've both had crushes. Neither of us has acted on them. It's harmless.

[Anonymous]

Having a crush on someone at work is definitely not a crush‼️

All people develop crushes on other people from time to time - - even those who are married.

It is only natural to develop crushes on others at some point in their lives.

It is reality.

[Anonymous]

* not cheating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crushes are healthy and normal. They're an outlet for fantasy and wishful thinking, and allow humans to avoid more socially-damaging forms of seeking affection.

It's so sad some people don't understand this.

Only “normal” in western culture. Crushes are the catalyst to the 52% US divorce rate. Crazy

It's actually around 40%.

Def lower in countries where women aren't allowed to leave--we will give you that!!

Fun Fact -
Divorce rates are 5% in the case where both in the marriage have PhDs

They are more immersed in their papers than talking to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I mean having feelings for someone while married is kinda’ off.

Well marriages aren't perfect and after decades of marriage I can see having a crush. Escapist fantasy, harmless.

Women will be women. They are so emotionally driven.

People will be people. Please.

[Anonymous]

I think the definition of a crush varies wildly here. When I think of a crush, it’s an innocent school girl giggling, he’s cute kind of thing. I am not fantasizing or flirting and I would obviously never act on it. DH has a huge crush on Kate Middleton and said if she was in the same room as him he would swoon and start stammering if he had to talk to her. I think it’s funny and cute, I never thought of it as cheating. Some of your definition of crush sounds like unhealthy obsessions, which imo is not a crush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the definition of a crush varies wildly here. When I think of a crush, it’s an innocent school girl giggling, he’s cute kind of thing. I am not fantasizing or flirting and I would obviously never act on it. DH has a huge crush on Kate Middleton and said if she was in the same room as him he would swoon and start stammering if he had to talk to her. I think it’s funny and cute, I never thought of it as cheating. Some of your definition of crush sounds like unhealthy obsessions, which imo is not a crush.

I think an earlier PP had it right when they said it's not a problem as long as you're willing to be honest with your partner about it. When you get to the point of not feeling comfortable taking about it, it's a problem.