Parents who have been through the process: talk to me about gpas and kids doing sports year round

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a now senior who sounds similar, and will now be attending his top choice school, here are my reflections:

- We let him manage himself freshman year, it was the first fully post-covid normal socializing. He had a good social experience. Grades were ok (B+ avg). Wish we would have ticked up academic expectations just a bit. But it worked out fine, and he was happy.

-Having a strong gpa is so important. We set gentle expectations for A's and taking an increasing # of AP classes each year and that worked out well such that a weighted 4.0 gpa gave him more options.

- We messed up and didn't start SAT prep until late junior year. He got a 1400 and went test optional at school he is attending. Grades and SAT are the most important, start SAT prep summer before junior year, get assistance, etc. to get the 1500+ score if possible.

- We required volunteer and ec's that he picked for every year. Robotics, student newspaper, and volunteering for three summers, in addition to basketball. Requiring those ec's helped greatly with admissions.

- starting late junior year, we as parents had idea of best school for him (SLAC), he wanted bit larger, social (Lehigh), we visited all and expressed great interest in SLAC (visits, interviews, attending student panels, emailing admissions, going when they visited his school). The demonstrated interest seemed to help. We let him take lead on his top choices.

If your kid needs to prep to get 1500+ on the SAT, your kid doesn’t belong in a 1500+ SAT school.

This probably covers 50% of posters on this site.

I would bet that over 90% of 1500+ scorers had SAT prep. Some an expensive class and others doing free Khan academy…but it’s all prep.

And Super scored; taken multiple times; and a bit of luck. Not like getting a 1500+ (or even 1400+) during the 1990s

[Anonymous]

Did I miss an answer about what the kid wants to do? Does he want to quit one of the sports? As a high school kid, he should be the main driver to participate or quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Omg. No. Whatever you do, OP, do not do this!!

Most 9th graders do not have a clue what schools they’re interested in. Nor should they.

Their focus should be on having a great freshman year. Trying different things - some hard courses, juggling multiple sports etc, and seeing how it goes. What do they like and not like? What’s hard? Is it uncomfortable/stressful? If so, what might make that part better?

The goal is to engage our kids in thinking about (and taking an increasingly active role in) their learning and development. This sounds like what you’re doing, OP. Good instincts!

On the other hand, PP’s suggestion runs the risk of reducing all of high school (and four years of adolescent development) to a goal-directed exercise in getting into specific colleges. IMHO that sells our kids way short and misses the point entirely.

OP, you got the correct advice that being a three sport athlete is not going to help your kid when it comes to admissions. One sport is enough for that purpose. The other two don’t matter. But they MAY matter for your kid’s health and happiness, so good for you for considering that.

Definitely talk with him about all this. Not in terms of college admissions. In terms of whether he feels there are tradeoffs between the sports and the academics right now. And if so, help him brainstorm ideas and options. The more invested and engaged he is, the better.

Finally, it really is ok to take it year by year, and even sports season by sports season. We’ve seen kids drop a second or third “just for fun” no cut school sport sophomore or junior year and then pick it back up senior year. Same for taking a year off a club team and then rejoining later. (Obviously not for the elite recruited athlete type showcase clubs, but yes for the other tiers.)

Same advice goes for thinking about which APs he may take junior and senior year. Take it one year at a time. You’ll know a lot more a year from now about he can handle/balance junior year.

Enjoy the second half of freshman year with him. Sounds like he’s doing great and you are, too!

+1 my ADHD boys plays a sport all the time too. I don’t really worry about what that means as an EC for college admissions. I’m more concerned with allowing my kid to pursue the things they enjoy and how they’re developing as a person.

Plus their mental health. My kid needs to move every day, or he's miserable, and his misery affects the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For most, participation in sports has almost no relevance to college acceptance or performance, which are correctly oriented towards academics and not athletics. Sports can have some social benefits, but also present opportunities to spend money, become injured, and can distract from what should be higher priorities if one is thinking about the future.

While it's not necessary for a child to focus only on academics in order to gain admission to a good university and to have a good career thereafter, too much time devoted to sports becomes affirmatively unhelpful, no matter how entertaining it is.

Reflect on priorities, and you'll have your answer about how much time is appropriate to devote to which pursuits.

You sound fun at parties.

[Anonymous]

Luckily my kids hated their HS coach, despised him. They did their sport in HS freshmen and sophomore year and they left for year-round club junior and senior year—like most of the kids at a higher level.

Even though club was year-round and travel, practices 4 nights a week, weekend games, it was such less time consuming than the HS team. It also had a much more stable schedule. Getting home at 3pm- then practice 8-9:30pm. Lots of time for HW right after school. Games- out of town - they did it in the car.

They both were straight A/35ACT; 10 APs (most their school does) and still had the stats to apply anywhere. They also socialized, did community service and had summer jobs.

A lot will depend on your HS. At our private the sports take up all the free time and weeknight games far away are killer.

My kids also did another HS sport with a short season and a lot more flexibility with a coach that was academics first too.

[Anonymous]

OMG - I haven’t read through all the pages but please let you kid be a kid. College will work out. When you get to that point identify schools he will love at reach/target/likely levels.

My DC didn’t have tue GPA to go to the schools they were most interested in, but got into a good target, and is very happy.

Better to have a happy well adjusted kid than to over engineer this process especially if you truly aren’t gunning for T20

[Anonymous]

You’ll act like he’s playing rec basketball with the neighborhood kids. High school sports are extremely intense in with a lot of pressure in their own right. They often conflict with extra curricular opportunities and limit kids hang out time. OP you said he’s tired and stressed. You know your kid. Take a season off and see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

What a shame that so many parents think of HS (and want their kids to think of HS) as just a means to an end. If he enjoys the sports, why would he not continue playing? So his gpa is 3.8 instead of 3.7? For goodness sake, let the kid pick his own ECs. Fast forward a few years - if you continue on this road, you will be trying to micromanage his college experience as well, since I guess that will just be a means to an end as well. When does it stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ll act like he’s playing rec basketball with the neighborhood kids. High school sports are extremely intense in with a lot of pressure in their own right. They often conflict with extra curricular opportunities and limit kids hang out time. OP you said he’s tired and stressed. You know your kid. Take a season off and see how it goes.

Maybe he’s taking too rigorous of a course load. Funny how no one ever suggests that school might be the problem.