Parents who have been through the process: talk to me about gpas and kids doing sports year round

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this chain.

There's all sorts of evidence that HS athletes do better academically in-season than out of season. Boys, in particular, play more video games and use more substances when they're not playing sports--and, predictably, their grades suffer, they don't improve. (But at least they get to enjoy worse mental and physical health, so there's that.)

+1

Don't sacrifice happiness and fulfillment in the teen years for a vague hope it results in better grades and a *maybe* a higher ranked college. If the kid wants to play three sports and keeps an A- gpa, I see zero problem.

+1. This is so important. Your kid is actively involved in school, has friends, is getting physical activity and has a good GPA. Ask yourself why you want him to drop to 2 and then 1 sport. No, the sports are not going to help with college more than any other EC but they are not hurting. There is no guarantee he would be spending his free time studying.

My son was in year round sports until he quit them all and no, he did not suddenly devote that extra time to studying. He found other things to fill his time. They were not all bad things and over the course of HS he picked up some great hobbies and 2 different part time jobs. But no, he was not hitting the books studying for English, etc.

Let him enjoy his HS experience!

[Anonymous]

19:40 again and I wanted to add that when my son was a freshman, I also thought he would take AP courses. Maybe your kid will! Then life happened and my son is graduating and took zero AP classes. He is still going to college and found a great one that is the perfect fit for him. So whatever happens, they will have choices and it will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Omg. No. Whatever you do, OP, do not do this!!

Most 9th graders do not have a clue what schools they’re interested in. Nor should they.

Their focus should be on having a great freshman year. Trying different things - some hard courses, juggling multiple sports etc, and seeing how it goes. What do they like and not like? What’s hard? Is it uncomfortable/stressful? If so, what might make that part better?

The goal is to engage our kids in thinking about (and taking an increasingly active role in) their learning and development. This sounds like what you’re doing, OP. Good instincts!

On the other hand, PP’s suggestion runs the risk of reducing all of high school (and four years of adolescent development) to a goal-directed exercise in getting into specific colleges. IMHO that sells our kids way short and misses the point entirely.

OP, you got the correct advice that being a three sport athlete is not going to help your kid when it comes to admissions. One sport is enough for that purpose. The other two don’t matter. But they MAY matter for your kid’s health and happiness, so good for you for considering that.

Definitely talk with him about all this. Not in terms of college admissions. In terms of whether he feels there are tradeoffs between the sports and the academics right now. And if so, help him brainstorm ideas and options. The more invested and engaged he is, the better.

Finally, it really is ok to take it year by year, and even sports season by sports season. We’ve seen kids drop a second or third “just for fun” no cut school sport sophomore or junior year and then pick it back up senior year. Same for taking a year off a club team and then rejoining later. (Obviously not for the elite recruited athlete type showcase clubs, but yes for the other tiers.)

Same advice goes for thinking about which APs he may take junior and senior year. Take it one year at a time. You’ll know a lot more a year from now about he can handle/balance junior year.

Enjoy the second half of freshman year with him. Sounds like he’s doing great and you are, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is backing off for a season only to teach him to learn to manage his workload and ADhD/executive functioning on his own. So many kids with similar challenges do better with very busy schedules because it eliminates procrastination. If you have practice until 7:30 every night and have to go to bed at 10, that forces you to keep a pretty rigid schedule for dinner, homework, etc. But if he’s just doing IM sports in college and has hours and hours of free time, he might fall apart without the structure he’s used to.

+1

This was me growing up. Everything felt easier during the seasons I played my sport. Even though I was much busier, it was just a whole lot easier to focus and use my time efficiently to get homework and studying done!

For some people with ADHD, having more unstructured time actually makes it harder to be productive. Too many options about what to do when - it can feel overwhelming and hard to make decisions, so the default is to put it off / procrastinate. Having a limited and defined time period to get work done is remarkably helpful. It eliminates the decision-making and helps me focus and be efficient.

It’s possible that being busy with three sports is actually helping your son academically, not hurting him ….

[Anonymous]

My kid has ADHD and needs sports. They make a meaningful difference in academics. We dropped the one travel sport that was hurting him academically (missing too much school) when it became clear he didn't want to try to play it in college. He plays it now in high school. High school sports are great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this chain.

There's all sorts of evidence that HS athletes do better academically in-season than out of season. Boys, in particular, play more video games and use more substances when they're not playing sports--and, predictably, their grades suffer, they don't improve. (But at least they get to enjoy worse mental and physical health, so there's that.)

Do you have a cite to that study? The study I am looking at shows that high school athletes have better grades than non-athletes but their grades tend to be lower in season than out of season.

If I could pick a season for my kid to have a sport, it would be the Fall. The finals don't come around until January long after the season is over and the pre-season workouts really get them back into that school headspace after summer. Winter sports are the worst. They straddle two semesters and the height of the season is during first semester finals. Spring season is OK but if your team is good, finals line up just about perfectly with finals. All of this to say, I like Fall sports because it has almost all the benefits and almost none of the downsides.

[Anonymous]

Sports are completely meaningless in a college app …

[Anonymous]

Every kid is different. DC stopped playing club sport after 9th grade, continued the sport just in school. It was the best decision— freed up time and wound up finding a new EC that tied into major and helped with college apps, but more importantly was a great learning experience and at least so far has shaped major and future career plans. There is no way they could have done this time consuming activity if they were driving all over the place for the club sport as well. I know so many kids who put an insane amount of time into club sports but ultimately were not recruited, had limited other ECs, and I do think it impacted their apps. If the kid absolutely loves the sport and/or the club team is a great social scene, then it may be worth it. But at least our club experience was that it was competitive, stressful, and not particularly social in addition to expensive and time-consuming. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sports are completely meaningless in a college app …

But not in a kids’ life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t overthink it. Some kids can have multiple commitments and still have great gpas. That doesn't seem to be your kid. Colleges don’t care much about students being three sport athletes but care a ton about gpa.

Or let him enjoy his one and only childhood and participate in the sports he enjoys with his friends while maintaining a perfectly good GPA.

Gunning for the top colleges isn’t the end-all, be-all. Sounds like he’s well-rounded and hopefully enjoying his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a now senior who sounds similar, and will now be attending his top choice school, here are my reflections:

- We let him manage himself freshman year, it was the first fully post-covid normal socializing. He had a good social experience. Grades were ok (B+ avg). Wish we would have ticked up academic expectations just a bit. But it worked out fine, and he was happy.

-Having a strong gpa is so important. We set gentle expectations for A's and taking an increasing # of AP classes each year and that worked out well such that a weighted 4.0 gpa gave him more options.

- We messed up and didn't start SAT prep until late junior year. He got a 1400 and went test optional at school he is attending. Grades and SAT are the most important, start SAT prep summer before junior year, get assistance, etc. to get the 1500+ score if possible.

- We required volunteer and ec's that he picked for every year. Robotics, student newspaper, and volunteering for three summers, in addition to basketball. Requiring those ec's helped greatly with admissions.

- starting late junior year, we as parents had idea of best school for him (SLAC), he wanted bit larger, social (Lehigh), we visited all and expressed great interest in SLAC (visits, interviews, attending student panels, emailing admissions, going when they visited his school). The demonstrated interest seemed to help. We let him take lead on his top choices.

If your kid needs to prep to get 1500+ on the SAT, your kid doesn’t belong in a 1500+ SAT school.

This probably covers 50% of posters on this site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Omg. No. Whatever you do, OP, do not do this!!

Most 9th graders do not have a clue what schools they’re interested in. Nor should they.

Their focus should be on having a great freshman year. Trying different things - some hard courses, juggling multiple sports etc, and seeing how it goes. What do they like and not like? What’s hard? Is it uncomfortable/stressful? If so, what might make that part better?

The goal is to engage our kids in thinking about (and taking an increasingly active role in) their learning and development. This sounds like what you’re doing, OP. Good instincts!

On the other hand, PP’s suggestion runs the risk of reducing all of high school (and four years of adolescent development) to a goal-directed exercise in getting into specific colleges. IMHO that sells our kids way short and misses the point entirely.

OP, you got the correct advice that being a three sport athlete is not going to help your kid when it comes to admissions. One sport is enough for that purpose. The other two don’t matter. But they MAY matter for your kid’s health and happiness, so good for you for considering that.

Definitely talk with him about all this. Not in terms of college admissions. In terms of whether he feels there are tradeoffs between the sports and the academics right now. And if so, help him brainstorm ideas and options. The more invested and engaged he is, the better.

Finally, it really is ok to take it year by year, and even sports season by sports season. We’ve seen kids drop a second or third “just for fun” no cut school sport sophomore or junior year and then pick it back up senior year. Same for taking a year off a club team and then rejoining later. (Obviously not for the elite recruited athlete type showcase clubs, but yes for the other tiers.)

Same advice goes for thinking about which APs he may take junior and senior year. Take it one year at a time. You’ll know a lot more a year from now about he can handle/balance junior year.

Enjoy the second half of freshman year with him. Sounds like he’s doing great and you are, too!

+1 my ADHD boys plays a sport all the time too. I don’t really worry about what that means as an EC for college admissions. I’m more concerned with allowing my kid to pursue the things they enjoy and how they’re developing as a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Omg. No. Whatever you do, OP, do not do this!!

Most 9th graders do not have a clue what schools they’re interested in. Nor should they.

Their focus should be on having a great freshman year. Trying different things - some hard courses, juggling multiple sports etc, and seeing how it goes. What do they like and not like? What’s hard? Is it uncomfortable/stressful? If so, what might make that part better?

The goal is to engage our kids in thinking about (and taking an increasingly active role in) their learning and development. This sounds like what you’re doing, OP. Good instincts!

On the other hand, PP’s suggestion runs the risk of reducing all of high school (and four years of adolescent development) to a goal-directed exercise in getting into specific colleges. IMHO that sells our kids way short and misses the point entirely.

OP, you got the correct advice that being a three sport athlete is not going to help your kid when it comes to admissions. One sport is enough for that purpose. The other two don’t matter. But they MAY matter for your kid’s health and happiness, so good for you for considering that.

Definitely talk with him about all this. Not in terms of college admissions. In terms of whether he feels there are tradeoffs between the sports and the academics right now. And if so, help him brainstorm ideas and options. The more invested and engaged he is, the better.

Finally, it really is ok to take it year by year, and even sports season by sports season. We’ve seen kids drop a second or third “just for fun” no cut school sport sophomore or junior year and then pick it back up senior year. Same for taking a year off a club team and then rejoining later. (Obviously not for the elite recruited athlete type showcase clubs, but yes for the other tiers.)

Same advice goes for thinking about which APs he may take junior and senior year. Take it one year at a time. You’ll know a lot more a year from now about he can handle/balance junior year.

Enjoy the second half of freshman year with him. Sounds like he’s doing great and you are, too!

This is exactly how kids get to the top schools. If it’s not your kid’s dream, then don’t do this. If the kid is pushing for rigor, that’s one sign. Doors close to certain schools starting in 9th grade unless the kid is hooked. It’s just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a now senior who sounds similar, and will now be attending his top choice school, here are my reflections:

- We let him manage himself freshman year, it was the first fully post-covid normal socializing. He had a good social experience. Grades were ok (B+ avg). Wish we would have ticked up academic expectations just a bit. But it worked out fine, and he was happy.

-Having a strong gpa is so important. We set gentle expectations for A's and taking an increasing # of AP classes each year and that worked out well such that a weighted 4.0 gpa gave him more options.

- We messed up and didn't start SAT prep until late junior year. He got a 1400 and went test optional at school he is attending. Grades and SAT are the most important, start SAT prep summer before junior year, get assistance, etc. to get the 1500+ score if possible.

- We required volunteer and ec's that he picked for every year. Robotics, student newspaper, and volunteering for three summers, in addition to basketball. Requiring those ec's helped greatly with admissions.

- starting late junior year, we as parents had idea of best school for him (SLAC), he wanted bit larger, social (Lehigh), we visited all and expressed great interest in SLAC (visits, interviews, attending student panels, emailing admissions, going when they visited his school). The demonstrated interest seemed to help. We let him take lead on his top choices.

If your kid needs to prep to get 1500+ on the SAT, your kid doesn’t belong in a 1500+ SAT school.

This probably covers 50% of posters on this site.

I would bet that over 90% of 1500+ scorers had SAT prep. Some an expensive class and others doing free Khan academy…but it’s all prep.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all of the responses. We’ll see what plays out, but even though he enjoys sports he’s also very stressed about the work as it is. I know kid some kids can go to practice and come home and knock it out but that’s not him. He goes to practice comes home needs to reset, which I totally get and then it’s a panic/late/too much if I’m being hones. This thread helped clarify for me that I he needs a break—a season off at least. Putting grades aside, he needs more sleep and more downtime and a chance to try some other things at school.