Money missing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid opened drawers in their grandparents house?

Why????

Something doesn't make sense here.

This is so weird to me. Kids open things and look around in homes the are comfortable in. I used to open my grandmothers slip drawer and put one on and then put a half slip over my hair like a veil to pretend I was dressed for my wedding. No family member thought I was a bad kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid opened drawers in their grandparents house?

Why????

Something doesn't make sense here.

This is so weird to me. Kids open things and look around in homes the are comfortable in. I used to open my grandmothers slip drawer and put one on and then put a half slip over my hair like a veil to pretend I was dressed for my wedding. No family member thought I was a bad kid.

I was taught and also taught my children to respect the privacy of others and this means not opening drawers, cabinets, mail or anything in our home or the home of a friend or neighbor.

If a visitor to my home ever started poking around my house I would ask them to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can well believe that elementary schoolers might open drawers and rifle through them out of boredom, if they feel they're in a safe place with people they love.

But it doesn't sound like your kids would have any reason to steal... especially given the fact that nothing has ever been stolen from your house, where they actually live!

I'd be more inclined to believe that the grandparents misplaced the money themselves, or forgot they already spent it, or got it stolen by a housekeeper.

I'm sorry this is creating such unspoken bad blood between generations. I think you kid needs to apologize for opening the drawers, and you all need to reiterate to the grandparents that you have not found the money and that the children continue to deny they took it. Beyond that, you can't do anything else.

An elementary schooler doesn't steal because he can't afford a crust of bread, he steals because he has poor impulse control and it's a boundary to test. The one who "opened some drawers just to see" stole the money. As to your 2nd point, OP has no idea if her kids steal from her because she doesn't know what's in their rooms and has an "everything in the house belongs to them anyway" attitude (see: "my kids are rich").

PP you replied to. I disagree. If the kid semi-innocently takes something on a lark, then they quite likely would end up telling their parents. if the kids are usually rule-following kids, and there is a relationship of trust between kids and parents, I would be inclined to believe the children.

I detest adults like you who automatically think children are liars and thieves. It's a revelation of YOUR character, PP. I never stole as a child, and my kids never stole anything either. Of all my little friends in elementary school, I think maybe one of them casually stole something from her parents, and if confronted, would certainly have confessed. It's not as common as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

I am disgusted and horrified by all the posters who are telling OP to consider her child guilty.

Isn't it innocent until proven guilty???

Opening drawers is NOT evidence of theft.

You wouldn't last a day in court with those kinds of morals, people. This is not the law of the land.

For shame. You're all adults. What kind of putrid legal and ethical example are you setting for your children?

I sincerely hope others believe YOU guys are guilty of something you didn't do, and you live with the consequences of that, tarnished reputation and all.

Doing that to a kid... it's monstrous. Even the kid's grandparents are better people than you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can well believe that elementary schoolers might open drawers and rifle through them out of boredom, if they feel they're in a safe place with people they love.

But it doesn't sound like your kids would have any reason to steal... especially given the fact that nothing has ever been stolen from your house, where they actually live!

I'd be more inclined to believe that the grandparents misplaced the money themselves, or forgot they already spent it, or got it stolen by a housekeeper.

I'm sorry this is creating such unspoken bad blood between generations. I think you kid needs to apologize for opening the drawers, and you all need to reiterate to the grandparents that you have not found the money and that the children continue to deny they took it. Beyond that, you can't do anything else.

An elementary schooler doesn't steal because he can't afford a crust of bread, he steals because he has poor impulse control and it's a boundary to test. The one who "opened some drawers just to see" stole the money. As to your 2nd point, OP has no idea if her kids steal from her because she doesn't know what's in their rooms and has an "everything in the house belongs to them anyway" attitude (see: "my kids are rich").

PP you replied to. I disagree. If the kid semi-innocently takes something on a lark, then they quite likely would end up telling their parents. if the kids are usually rule-following kids, and there is a relationship of trust between kids and parents, I would be inclined to believe the children.

I detest adults like you who automatically think children are liars and thieves. It's a revelation of YOUR character, PP. I never stole as a child, and my kids never stole anything either. Of all my little friends in elementary school, I think maybe one of them casually stole something from her parents, and if confronted, would certainly have confessed. It's not as common as you think it is.

LOL. The kid stole the money, not on a lrk, but to see if he could get away with it. I detest adults who have glaring evidence that their kid has done something wrong right in their face, insist "not MY angel!" and so refuse to nip it in the bud when the stakes are low, and send an affluenza-ridden undisciplined teenager out into the wild, so I guess we can just detest each other.

[Anonymous]

Since Grandparents are old they likely are losing some of their memory.

Not saying they have dementia but if they are elderly their recollections may not be viable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Dh had questioned to me if they may have forgotton that they spent the money or misplaced the money by any chance. We would never find out because grandma said grandpa did not even want me to find out about these and want to drop the matter. I am sure the bitterness and trust issue are still there.

My husband is only in his 50s with ADHD and he honestly messes this kind of thing up every few years. I don’t wear my wedding rings and kept them in a kitchen cabinet for 7 years. Suddenly, they were missing when we came home from vacation. My husband freaked out about whether the maid service did it, did someone break in, etc. I found them a few days later in a hiding place only he uses. He clearly moved them himself before we went on vacation and had completely forgotten it 10 days later. The grandparents might be mistaken.

[Anonymous]

You have dishonest rich children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My kids still have some birthday gifts and Christmas gifts unopened lying around from prior year(s) and a few hundreds of amazon/store/restaurant giftcards (gifts) that they never want to use. I have donated some of them. Relatives love to give them gifts all the time. They are not materialistic kid, and they have more than enough toys and money than they need. I do not see the reason why they would need to take a few hundreds of cash from grandparents. I and DH do not think they lie. My home never lost any cash or giftcards. I do not know what happens here, frankly speaking.

I don't want to derail this, and apologies up front, but OP, it reads as if English is not your native language. Correct grammar would be DH and I do not think... Not I and DH.

What a jerk, grow up. Everyone knows what OP meant, you don't need to correct her grammar. How disgusting of you.

[Anonymous]

Wealthy kid at my DC's private school stole a less popular child's sneakers. The kid thief was a year older and brazenly wore the sneakers the next day. The kid whose shoes were stolen didn't want to tell an adult for fear of social repercussions. In this case, the rich, popular kid didn't take the sneakers because she needed them. She didn't. She took them (perhaps) to see what she could get away with and to be cruel to the child who needed her shoes.

OP, please address and correct the behavior asap. We see wealthy people steal all the time and it is ruinous for society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If kids stole it, surely it would be in your house somewhere.

This X10000. ES kids are not great at hiding things. Search through backpacks, clothes pockets, their rooms. If your older kid has a phone, go through discord, Roblox and other messages. There are chats within games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My kids still have some birthday gifts and Christmas gifts unopened lying around from prior year(s) and a few hundreds of amazon/store/restaurant giftcards (gifts) that they never want to use. I have donated some of them. Relatives love to give them gifts all the time. They are not materialistic kid, and they have more than enough toys and money than they need. I do not see the reason why they would need to take a few hundreds of cash from grandparents. I and DH do not think they lie. My home never lost any cash or giftcards. I do not know what happens here, frankly speaking.

I don't want to derail this, and apologies up front, but OP, it reads as if English is not your native language. Correct grammar would be DH and I do not think... Not I and DH.

What a jerk, grow up. Everyone knows what OP meant, you don't need to correct her grammar. How disgusting of you.

I disagree. Why not have the opportunity to be corrected in a place where no one knows you? OP clearly wants to learn proper English as she sounds very proper. Why not help her be more fluent? I would never correct her in person, nor would most anyone else. But people notice. I would want to learn in a "safe space." And not sure why you are so triggered by this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 2 ES kids did a sleepover one night a few weeks ago at grandparent house during winter break. Grandma whispered to me that they realized that their bedroom drawers were opened and a few hundred cash was missing. They found out right after I picked up my kids that weekend. Grandma did not want to tell me more specific details, and they were more upset that my 2 kids burned their trust rather than losing that a few hundreds. They would be more than happy to give them money if they ever ask. I was shocked because my kids are rich and they have a few thousands cash in their bedroom, and I & DH never lost any cash at home. They never ask me to buy them anything. One kid just loves youtube and the other kid just loves to play dollhouse.

I and DH have asked my kids individually and they deny that they ever saw any cash or took the cash. The older boy did admitted that he opened some drawers out of curiosity at grandparent bedroom but he did not see any cash. Well, grandparents do not want to talk about it further or confront grandkids and they just are disappointed and want me to tell them that it is not right and it is a stealing. They think it is one of our child did that and they want to drop the matter. Dh and I do not think our 2 kids lie after us investigating and questioning them in different ways. We also do not think grandparents make these up. It is just awkward now, what to do next step? I have yelled one kid that he should have never opened any drawers in someone's bedroom (where they did sleepover at their giant bedroom). What to do next?

Wait wait. Did the kids sleep in the grandparents bedroom? That's weird.
Also, you yelled at your kid? Of course they aren't going to tell you if they stole it now. You yelled. They don't want to get yelled at again.

If the kids have so much money (thousands?!) in their room, and you've given gift cards away, why not offer to replace the money? I think you need to teach your children about finances better. Letting them sit around with loads of cash and gift cards in their room is very poor financial planning.

[Anonymous]

Are we all just glossing over the fact OP said her two elementary school kids have thousands of dollars in cash in their bedrooms? Wtf?