Money missing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids stole it, surely it would be in your house somewhere.

She said the kids have thousands in their rooms. In ES! Op has no clue what her kids are doing!

Got it. I assumed a parent would know how much a kid has in their room, especially if it's 1000s. The whole thing is weird. Where did the kids get 1000s of dollars? That could be telling.

Op here. Relatives and grandparents love to give them a few hundreds here & there on holidays and birthdays. They keep them in piggy bank. They gave them $5k when each was born, and I shared with them some too on top of 529 accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid opened drawers in their grandparents house?

Why????

Something doesn't make sense here.

They were looking for money or valuables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to know. Either one or both of your kids are lying, or Grandpa spent the money and doesn't want to fess up.

Is Grandpa beta to his wife?

Oh please, a few hundred dollars and grandpa doesn’t want to fess up? Two people at their stage don’t worry about the other spending a few hundred dollars.

If this is true it’s really sad. Hopefully only one of them is a thief and not both. People who have compulsions to steal don’t always need what they take. And this compulsion doesn’t usually just go away without help from professionals.

[Anonymous]

Your kid stole and the one who admitted to opening the drawers is likely the culprit.

I would return the amount stolen and make bkth biys cover it.

I remember learning lessons as a kid such as don't touch other people's wallets, purses etc because if something comes up missing you will be the first person they blame. Why was he in their drawers? Teach your kids some boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My kids still have some birthday gifts and Christmas gifts unopened lying around from prior year(s) and a few hundreds of amazon/store/restaurant giftcards (gifts) that they never want to use. I have donated some of them. Relatives love to give them gifts all the time. They are not materialistic kid, and they have more than enough toys and money than they need. I do not see the reason why they would need to take a few hundreds of cash from grandparents. I and DH do not think they lie. My home never lost any cash or giftcards. I do not know what happens here, frankly speaking.

It sounds like they don't value and understand money, that you have to work hard for it and keep careful watch over it. It's possible they took it, because they see it as no big deal and think grandparents just have cash randomly laying around and don't keep track of it, as they (kids) do.

[Anonymous]

Either it was stolen or a grandparent or grandparents have memory issues. People developing memory issues often accuse people of stealing from them because they lose track of possessions and it "seems logical."

[Anonymous]

Fake. Your kids are not rich. You are. You failed at parenting.

[Anonymous]

You said your kids are RICH??!! LMAO.

[Anonymous]

If you are real...

I think one of the parents is getting dementia and lost it.

[Anonymous]

It is really hard to say what happened here IMO. If they stole $, wouldn’t it be in your house? And you’d be able to find it? Have you looked? Kids don’t usually hide things very well IME. Also- where are elementary and kids spending cash of more than a few dollars anyway (without a parent being aware)?

I’d have them apologize for going in the grandparents’ drawers, for sure.

It is also very possible IMO that the grandparents got their signals crossed about the $, how much, and where it was stashed. For example- one used it (or some of it) for something last minute and then forgot. Also older people sometimes get a bit forgetful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My kids still have some birthday gifts and Christmas gifts unopened lying around from prior year(s) and a few hundreds of amazon/store/restaurant giftcards (gifts) that they never want to use. I have donated some of them. Relatives love to give them gifts all the time. They are not materialistic kid, and they have more than enough toys and money than they need. I do not see the reason why they would need to take a few hundreds of cash from grandparents. I and DH do not think they lie. My home never lost any cash or giftcards. I do not know what happens here, frankly speaking.

Ok, if this is true, donate the unwanted items and gift cards. Are you a hoarder?

Enough trying to justify why it wasn’t one of the kids. It was one of the kids, likely the one who admitted to rifling through their drawers. It has nothing to do an inventory of your kids’ rooms.

I assume the grandparents are maybe in their late 50’s or 60s based on the grandchildren’s ages. Trying to claim dementia is a stretch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either it was stolen or a grandparent or grandparents have memory issues. People developing memory issues often accuse people of stealing from them because they lose track of possessions and it "seems logical."

First sign of dementia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either it was stolen or a grandparent or grandparents have memory issues. People developing memory issues often accuse people of stealing from them because they lose track of possessions and it "seems logical."

The grandparents didn’t say anything to the children, they didn’t even ask if the children had seen some money they had misplaced. They handled it correctly and didn’t accuse anyone.

How hard is it to understand that the kids went through their drawers and one of them took it. It happens.

[Anonymous]

I can well believe that elementary schoolers might open drawers and rifle through them out of boredom, if they feel they're in a safe place with people they love.

But it doesn't sound like your kids would have any reason to steal... especially given the fact that nothing has ever been stolen from your house, where they actually live!

I'd be more inclined to believe that the grandparents misplaced the money themselves, or forgot they already spent it, or got it stolen by a housekeeper.

I'm sorry this is creating such unspoken bad blood between generations. I think you kid needs to apologize for opening the drawers, and you all need to reiterate to the grandparents that you have not found the money and that the children continue to deny they took it. Beyond that, you can't do anything else.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws once accused our children of stealing Christmas ornaments. I packed their bags so know nothing did was in there. They were like four and six at the time….As if they just wanted Christmas ornaments so bad they hid them somewhere. The whole thing was bizarre, but I feel sort of tainted the relationship.