How to pay for funeral arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can go ahead and make the arrangements she would like and pre-pay. That’s what my grandfather did. It was so helpful to my father and aunts - they knew that everything was arranged the way Grandpa wanted, and payment was already taken care of.

Everyone in my family has pre-paid. I was shocked in my late 20's when I found out there are people who are scrambling to find money to pay for funeral costs. Also, remember that the funeral doesn't matter - how you treat someone while they're alive does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Thanks for all the replies.

Dad was military buried with veterans so we need to buy a plot. I like the idea of buying that now. (I will speak with her about that). Also- I didn’t know you can pre-pay arrangements. I will call local funeral home and ask how that process works.

My stepfather is buried at a VA cemetery. When my mother died she went in with him.
Check it out.

Np, my dad was military and planned his burial at Cheltenham years ago. My mom died 10 years before him and was buried there first. It always creeped me out visiting her grave with my dad's name already printed on the stone with his DOB, but a dash awaiting his date of death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. It is not your money
2. It is not your money.

It *will* be her money going out the door if she doesn’t have immediate access to the estate money to pay for the funeral. She’ll have to pay for the funeral out of pocket and get reimbursed later — depending on the jurisdiction, it can be months and months later. Also, mortgage payments, insurance, etc — any other expenses that need to be paid in a timely manner.

One tip — you need to have your name *on the account* that the money is in. If you have a power of attorney, it will cease to be operative upon death. Some jurisdictions take forever to issue letters testamentary for the executor, so that’s no help.

You don’t want your name on any accounts that have a substantial amount of money, because you’d lose the stepped up basis that heirs get. However, I’d put just enough to cover the funeral and any other expenses in a joint savings or money market account, even if you have to open up a new account to keep it from being inadvertently drained by your Mom.

I was once executor of a complex estate in a state that is very slow for probate, and I was at least $20,000 out of pocket before I could get reimbursed by the estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad put my sister and I as payable on death for his bank account. We got the money within a week of submitting the death certificate. If you have POA, you can make sure she has enough money for a funeral in her bank account.

POAs are void upon death. Only the executor has authority to expend $$ unless the individual is a co-owner of the account or has a transfer on death provision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think funeral home would just need a deposit then pay balance within 30 days. I would call and ask. I would be careful about taking that money out now because you will bump up how much she owes in taxes.

Nope. They require up front payment otherwise they’d have issues with collecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. It is not your money
2. It is not your money.

It *will* be her money going out the door if she doesn’t have immediate access to the estate money to pay for the funeral. She’ll have to pay for the funeral out of pocket and get reimbursed later — depending on the jurisdiction, it can be months and months later. Also, mortgage payments, insurance, etc — any other expenses that need to be paid in a timely manner.

One tip — you need to have your name *on the account* that the money is in. If you have a power of attorney, it will cease to be operative upon death. Some jurisdictions take forever to issue letters testamentary for the executor, so that’s no help.

You don’t want your name on any accounts that have a substantial amount of money, because you’d lose the stepped up basis that heirs get. However, I’d put just enough to cover the funeral and any other expenses in a joint savings or money market account, even if you have to open up a new account to keep it from being inadvertently drained by your Mom.

I was once executor of a complex estate in a state that is very slow for probate, and I was at least $20,000 out of pocket before I could get reimbursed by the estate.

One more note: a TOD might work, but you’ll need to get the death certificate (which can be delayed) and wait for the bank to act, so it’s not an immediate solution if the funeral home needs payment up front.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about your mom's health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You pay for her funeral yourself and when her estate distributes, you reimburse yourself on her estate. This is what people I know have done. It's also why you need to make sure she writes a will, so the estate is resolved rapidly. Otherwise it can take years.

Or you disburse the money from her own account at her death. Even with power of attorney, I'm not sure how legal that is.

Or she can prepay, but not a lot of elderly people like to do that... My grandfather did it, but my parents are not the sort to accept their mortality in such a practical way.

POA dissolves at death and accounts are frozen. Checks will bounce. Credit cards can stay open for a while.

In theory yes but my mom and sister accessed all my dads. Parents divorced and took everything.

[Anonymous]

OP, my father died earlier this fall. "Funeral" can mean different things to different people. For us, his body was donated to a state science program and then cremated. We had a traditional Episcopalian funeral service at their church, but it did not involve caskets or anything like that. At the church we also had a reception after the funeral that was catered by a church related group that specializes in catering for funerals. All in all, it was no more than a few thousand dollars for the church and reception.

My father's ashes will be placed into the columbarium at the church, as will my mother's someday.

I would check with the veterans cemetery about what is doable for your mother. You can have the traditional church service, then the burial at the cemetery. You may not need the funeral home. Especially if there is a cremation. But it will depend on the funeral your mother wants. If you want the casket and open display and visiting hours and the funeral procession, you will pay for it. Is it worthwhile to you? Up to you and your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can do a budget cremation for around $1k. It’s absurd to blow $15k-$20k on a funeral.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do a budget cremation for around $1k. It’s absurd to blow $15k-$20k on a funeral.

This

Saving money isn’t everything some people value celebration of life services for family and friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know spouses can be buried in veterans cemeteries right?

But depending on which veteran cemetery, this can take up to a year or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do a budget cremation for around $1k. It’s absurd to blow $15k-$20k on a funeral.

This

Saving money isn’t everything some people value celebration of life services for family and friends.

Some people do not have a choice, financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know spouses can be buried in veterans cemeteries right?

But depending on which veteran cemetery, this can take up to a year or more.

My vet neighbor died over a year ago and they still haven't held his ceremony at Arlington due to a backlog of burials. The backup is even longer for spouses. The family held a celebration of life soon after he died and will do a private burial when they are finally given a time/date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do a budget cremation for around $1k. It’s absurd to blow $15k-$20k on a funeral.

This

Saving money isn’t everything some people value celebration of life services for family and friends.

Some people do not have a choice, financially.

Exactly. My dad sold his funeral plot to pay off some debt and canceled his life insurance policy. He was broke when he passed. My sister and I paid for his burial costs out of savings but looked around for budget options. We worked with a funeral home that was willing to negotiate with us, since we kept mentioning cheaper alternatives elsewhere (ie. headstone and urn). I had found his plot on Craigslist for deep savings (on west coast). Also, we each opened up a credit card that earns travel rewards/points, and the funeral costs met the sign up bonus instantly (I only recommend this option if you are good with your credit and paying off CC's.)