One Week Leave For Sibling Death

[Anonymous]

My employer gave me 3 days when my father died in Vermont. I am in Virginia. Day one was the drive up, day two was 'grieving at a cousind house in a famuly gathering before the funeral, day three was driving home.

That was 127 years ago and I have wished ill on that manager every day since.

[Anonymous]

*17 years ago, not 127 years ago, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. I lost a sibling in a horrific way when we were young (but working). They didn't die right away and then we had to wait for body to be released, and it was a flight away for me. I was a wreck and could not have worked. If it's for someone in their 60s who has been sick then kind of a bit much.

What a jerk response.

[Anonymous]

Who knows what they need to do - give them the time with no questions. Maybe they have to help with children, maybe it was sudden and unexpected, maybe they are the executor and expect problems, maybe they have to travel 3 days each way, maybe sibling was a victim of a crime. It’s not hard to imaging needing more than 3 days to deal with the death of a family member.

[Anonymous]

it is abnormal because it should be more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My job gave me two weeks paid leave when my brother died—I “went back to work” after a week and a half but spent a lot of time crying in a non-billable way. My spouse’s job gave him two weeks paid “parental leave” when I lost a second trimester pregnancy and spent a week in the hospital and needed care the week after. I think one of the best things employers can do is be generous with leave, and I feel so grateful that my husband and I have worked for a variety of employers who saw employees as people.

Thank God some people have a heart. I'm sorry for your losses.

[Anonymous]

JFC. This caught my eye because my sister was just diagnosed with cancer and I traveled to where she is to be with her while she is in patient for 2 weeks. I did not take time off, but I would have if I had it (I worked remotely around being at the hospital).

She's likely to survive this, but I have often thought if she dies I am not sure I will survive. She is my best friend and we have been very close our entire lives. One week would not be enough, no way on earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My job gave me two weeks paid leave when my brother died—I “went back to work” after a week and a half but spent a lot of time crying in a non-billable way. My spouse’s job gave him two weeks paid “parental leave” when I lost a second trimester pregnancy and spent a week in the hospital and needed care the week after. I think one of the best things employers can do is be generous with leave, and I feel so grateful that my husband and I have worked for a variety of employers who saw employees as people.

Thank God some people have a heart. I'm sorry for your losses.

Agreed. I'm the poster above with the dad that died in Vermont. Two years before he died, my wife had a horrible miscarriage at 4 months that included a DNC. It didn't go well and she bled and bled and spent a half week at INOVA. My then-employer also screwed me and gave me zero hours to care for her.

[Anonymous]

i would hope you would give at least 2 weeks for a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes siblings are the only kin. Colleagues may have to empty an apartment, plan a service, rehome pets, etc.

[Anonymous]

I took 2 months off for my mom’s death.

Grant it the 1st ~2 weeks were her dying, then my family was mostly traveling since it was July 4th so we had to wait a weeks to have a funeral, get things in order… I took a week to clean out her place with siblings help.

Then I took a week to decompress, had a 2 week vacation planned I didn’t cancel then took a week to deal with accounts/wills/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took 2 months off for my mom’s death.

Grant it the 1st ~2 weeks were her dying, then my family was mostly traveling since it was July 4th so we had to wait a weeks to have a funeral, get things in order… I took a week to clean out her place with siblings help.

Then I took a week to decompress, had a 2 week vacation planned I didn’t cancel then took a week to deal with accounts/wills/etc.

You either have family money, a high earning spouse, are a frugal, basement-apartment renting, ziploc bag reusing, same clothes for 20 years, etc,.....or youre a corporate C suite member.

[Anonymous]

This thread is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

It seems fine to me. My only sister (10 years younger) has an 18 month old, if she passed away I would definitely take at least a week off to support my BIL and help him figure out his life going forward.

[Anonymous]

As a long time manager, the right response here is always “Take the time you need.” It’s the humane, but also the practical, thing to do. If people are asking for more time off for bereavement, it’s because they need it and they are unlikely to be able to focus on work.

I was in this position once and still feel grateful for the people who covered for me and supported me.