How often do your college children contact you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

I think most for safety purpose. Did you ever read news about college students' drunk party, drunk drive, and etc?

I don't understand how tracking prevents this?

Prevent?

Receipt we received a phone call in the middle of the night saying our son was in jail and this was a lawyer and we needed to pay him $1000 to get him out of jail.

I actually didn’t track him, but my other son does so we had to wake him up and we realized he wasn’t in jail. He was in his bed.

[Anonymous]

Every day, multiple times a day. Yes she’s a freshman and we’ve always been very close but… it feels like a lot. I worry she’s not adjusting well. Though she seems happy.
She calls most evenings to tell me about class discussions and what she’s learning. She also texts throughout the day.
I talked to my parents once a month; used the “long distance” excuse to make those calls as brief as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have what we call a "proof of life photo" agreement with my college kids.

About 2-3 times per month, just text me a selfie of yourself doing something. They are already doing this on Snapchat with their friends, so it is not an inconvenience for them. They text when they take off on trips and when they arrive, as a general safety practice so someone has their agenda in case an emergency happens.

I also have all their debit card info viewable on my banking app. If I don't see any charges for a few days beyond what is normal for them, I reach out.

If we contact them about anything involving university finances, such as messed up tuition charges, or anything involving health, emergencies or elderly grandparents, they must respond that day. Basically, anything critical or time sensitive requires a response, as that is a basic adulting skill.

Otherwise, they are busy living their lives, so we just wait for them to check in. They know if ai send them something like a funny video or news story, I don't expect a response. That is one way I show that I am thinking of them, but it is okay if they don't text back.

We didn't call our parents daily or weekly in college. It will be okay.

God I love it when DCUM shocks me with a healthy parent. Well done!

why is not contacting your parents your standard of healthy parenting?

[Anonymous]

My oldest has graduated but she texted me almost daily. My son is now a senior and he takes several days to respond to my messages and then just responds with a single word. He doesn’t initiate contact. I miss him but I accept that this is how it is. I don’t really worry too much as he has good judgement and I think the campus is relatively safe. I’ve never felt the need to do a welfare check. I co-signed his lease and can see his roommates names and contact info in the portal so if I really needed to reach one I could look there. However, I think should you ever be so worried that you need a welfare check, it’s best to contact residence life.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my DD never texted us! Took her time replying to our texts. It was heartbreaking to see other parents post pictures their kids were sending them of their new lives at college while we knew nothing of what was going on. But she shared her location with us. So we knew she was not getting to her dorm until 3 am most nights. Turns out she got herself a boyfriend before college actually started! But he would drop her off at 3 am. When I found out he was walking back alone, I started worrying about him! They have broken up now and we rarely check her location. After her first year where we hardly spoke, we started FaceTiming once every week or 2.

It’s hard sometimes but you’ll get there! Just trust you’ve raised a sensible kid.

[Anonymous]

Current 2nd year. No standing call time or tracking. We get the occasional text and/or photo, esp during football games (DC is in the Band!).

Last year, with no car, DC walked everywhere and I was sometimes the "Walk Buddy" since I had some work flexibility during that timeframe. But DC also used the opportunity to call/chat with some old (and I mean even older than me!) family friends. At first, DC struggled with what to say but we convinced her they just wanted to hear from her and she could repeat herself (to different callers) as much as she wanted. Can't tell you how many times the recipient would follow up with me about how special they thought that 10-minute call was.

Wish she would check in more but we love that she's loving where she's at. We're Old School: No news is good news.

[Anonymous]

My college kids, a senior and a freshman at Dukes and Vandy, have life360 installed on their phone because I pay for the phone. They also have to call their mother once a day for at least fifteen minutes. They both received new cars as part of the HS graduation, and 1000/month spending money, not including rent and food. I am still on the hook for car insurance. I told them that I don't care if they don't call me, but they must call and talk to their mother. Otherwise, I will take away the car and their spending money. It has become a habit that my oldest talks to my wife at least once a day. The young one is also getting into that routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My college kids, a senior and a freshman at Dukes and Vandy, have life360 installed on their phone because I pay for the phone. They also have to call their mother once a day for at least fifteen minutes. They both received new cars as part of the HS graduation, and 1000/month spending money, not including rent and food. I am still on the hook for car insurance. I told them that I don't care if they don't call me, but they must call and talk to their mother. Otherwise, I will take away the car and their spending money. It has become a habit that my oldest talks to my wife at least once a day. The young one is also getting into that routine.

Wow. To a lot of this!

[Anonymous]

Every day or more. And the kid is a super social athlete at a top school