How often do your college children contact you?

[Anonymous]

I send pictures of the dog and interesting articles or pictures. I try and stay away from nagging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

I think most for safety purpose. Did you ever read news about college students' drunk party, drunk drive, and etc?

[Anonymous]

I don’t judge people that track, I see the pros and cons. I’m a little biased as my kid is a campus EMT, some of these kids get themselves into some real trouble. Always worst at start of year with freshman.

[Anonymous]

We have what we call a "proof of life photo" agreement with my college kids.

About 2-3 times per month, just text me a selfie of yourself doing something. They are already doing this on Snapchat with their friends, so it is not an inconvenience for them. They text when they take off on trips and when they arrive, as a general safety practice so someone has their agenda in case an emergency happens.

I also have all their debit card info viewable on my banking app. If I don't see any charges for a few days beyond what is normal for them, I reach out.

If we contact them about anything involving university finances, such as messed up tuition charges, or anything involving health, emergencies or elderly grandparents, they must respond that day. Basically, anything critical or time sensitive requires a response, as that is a basic adulting skill.

Otherwise, they are busy living their lives, so we just wait for them to check in. They know if ai send them something like a funny video or news story, I don't expect a response. That is one way I show that I am thinking of them, but it is okay if they don't text back.

We didn't call our parents daily or weekly in college. It will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

I think most for safety purpose. Did you ever read news about college students' drunk party, drunk drive, and etc?

Did you not remember that we did all that same stuff in college too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

I think most for safety purpose. Did you ever read news about college students' drunk party, drunk drive, and etc?

I don't understand how tracking prevents this?

[Anonymous]

Sophomore. Boy. We talk a couple times a week by phone and text a couple times in between calls. I’m trying to limit my texts to “administrative” things- booking travel, finances, sending parcels.

It’s not 1991 when we called our parents once a week, if even that. We can’t reverse technology but I’m hoping I can give my kid enough space to grow and explore by keeping communication expectations in check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

It's just common now. Families track each other.

If you are not doing anything creepy and your parents are non-judgmental then it isn't really a big deal. It's just a phone feature.

And actually phone records are the first things people look at when kids go missing (drunken accidents resulting in death - I could share examples but you can Google yourself).

[Anonymous]

Op, you are being completely reasonable to ask for a friend or roommates number. I did that and on the few occasions I’ve reached out when I needed to contact DS but couldn’t find him, the friends did not seem to mind. In fact, they were excited to meet me when I came to campus. You can tell him it’s completely normal and perhaps establish a weekly check in with him?

[Anonymous]

Once a week.

[Anonymous]

We just keep "find my phone" on. it works for our family. We give our kids incredible freedom in high school but being tractable in case of emergency is their end of the bargain. the same continues to college but it"s a rare occasion that I check their location after the first week of school-the novelty of knowing if they're at the dining hall or down the street wears off fast. It actually seems that they track me more than I do them. The other day I was at Dulles picking up a friend and my freshman kid texted to ask where I was going.

[Anonymous]

Our kid chose to go to college abroad, and just started classes last week. We did a video call this morning, and agreed to establish Sunday mornings as our time to formally check in. Because there is no dining hall, they have to cook, so I have been getting texts asking for advice or telling me about kitchen mishaps every couple of days. Location sharing is on, and I admit that I have looked a couple of times, not because I think they’ll be somewhere they’re not supposed to be, but because I miss them, and seeing their little dot makes me smile.

[Anonymous]

I called about once a month in college. Maybe every other month during junior/senior years and during grad school.

Any more than 1/month is unreasonable unless there's something specific that you need quickly.

[Anonymous]

My son’s really did not like the whole Saturday or Sunday phone calls because they were busy with their friends watching football.

One of my sons worked in a place where he just sort of, sat at the door and checked people‘s IDs, he did that on Wednesdays so we talked during that time.

Find out a time that he doesn’t feel annoyed.

[Anonymous]

We text daily, call whenever (once or twice a week). No scheduled phone calls. If DS is busy, he tells us he is busy. DS is in leaving learning community, so I have contact information for the person in charge who lives in DS's dorm. No roommate info - DS refused to provide.