Is this weird/ perspective needed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she doesn’t trust them to be unsupervised for whatever reason.

That's understandable but it's weird that she also insists the others drop off. If this were the concern you'd think she'd appreciate another mom keeping an eye out and hanging out with her, normalizing some level of supervision. Yet she wants to be the only one and it kind of sounds like she wants to be in on the gossip and feel cool. If other moms were there, it wouldn't be special. [/quote]
This. It's weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen daughter's friends call me Mom when they're at my house. It's half-loving, half-joking. I think it's very sweet, and I have no doubt that they know and love their real mothers, and that this is just a little nickname for me that they think is funny.

So no worries, OP.

A few of my daughter's kids call me mommy or bonus-mom, and it's only the ones with indifferent parents and irregular home lives. I wonder if that's a factor.

PP you replied to. Not for my teen's friends. They're all cherished and nurtured, as far as I can see. I think it's because I'm a mother hen, and I fuss around them. They think it's very motherly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD refers to her friends' parents by their first names.

Dd: "Brad and Katie just got a new car and Larla will get to drive it to school"
Me: "You mean Mr. and Mrs. Miller just got a new car "
Dd: "yea"

It's just what teens do. It's a trend. It's a phase. It's the shock value. It's their stretch for autonomy. A mix of sarcasm, humor, endearment, .

I dont find "Brad and Katie" shocking at all (do you know that the parents didn't request to be called by their first names?) but the "Mom" thing is weird.

OP, I wouldn't assume it was a term of endearment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?

Not the biggest deal, but slightly weird that she insists others drop off but she always stays, unless there are special needs. But that and getting people to call her mom suggests she's really making this her personality. I wouldn't say it's necessarily creepy but more annoying. I wonder if as the kids get older she'll try to be cool mom who lets the kids drink, etc.

You hit the nail on the head of what I was thinking, pp. There are no special needs kids in this group. The thing which strikes me is that it seems like she is trying to establish herself as the group mom when every one of these kids has involved parents. Another pp who compared it to calling someone else's spouse "honey" also struck on the feeling I get from this mom.

Pp. I would keep an eye on it but it's one of those things that if you make too much of it, you're the one who will seem crazy because this woman seems so lovely and involved.

I actually wonder how she would react if you started insisting she drop off or insisting you stay instead of drop off (i think its rude of her to do this with teens if everyone else is dropping off).

I think the insisting you drop off kids and she doesn't drop her own off is very weird. In other words, she meets people at a third location and tells you to leave? Is it possible she is just trying to be nice by telling you you don't need to stay?

[Anonymous]

I remember my older siblings friends would all call our mom , “Mom”. It was said light heartedly to her like , “Hey Mom”, “Bye Mom” , “thanks mom.” Because they were over at our house all the time. I don’t think they’d refer to her as mom in a conversation with others, though. That seems a little weird to me.

[Anonymous]

If this parent is taking all her kids (ages 10-16) to a place, and the older kids are bringing friends, they are probably staying because they want to supervise their 10 year old/younger kids.

We just started letting our almost 12 year old walk around the mall with a friend and they aren’t dropped off, we stay at the mall. Some parents of the kids my DC invites to the mall do not want them wandering alone, so I tag along.

And frankly, I prefer when other parents drop off for the mall - unless I really like you and already know you well, I don’t want to spend a couple of hours hanging out with another parent making small talk. I would definitely rather talk to the kids or surf my phone.

I don’t know why DCUM always has to be suspicious of parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?

Not the biggest deal, but slightly weird that she insists others drop off but she always stays, unless there are special needs. But that and getting people to call her mom suggests she's really making this her personality. I wouldn't say it's necessarily creepy but more annoying. I wonder if as the kids get older she'll try to be cool mom who lets the kids drink, etc.

You hit the nail on the head of what I was thinking, pp. There are no special needs kids in this group. The thing which strikes me is that it seems like she is trying to establish herself as the group mom when every one of these kids has involved parents. Another pp who compared it to calling someone else's spouse "honey" also struck on the feeling I get from this mom.

Pp. I would keep an eye on it but it's one of those things that if you make too much of it, you're the one who will seem crazy because this woman seems so lovely and involved.

I actually wonder how she would react if you started insisting she drop off or insisting you stay instead of drop off (i think its rude of her to do this with teens if everyone else is dropping off).

I think the insisting you drop off kids and she doesn't drop her own off is very weird. In other words, she meets people at a third location and tells you to leave? Is it possible she is just trying to be nice by telling you you don't need to stay?

I have had periods of times when I had reasons to stay close to my kid. Reasons I didn't feel the need to share.

If another parent found out I was staying, and then changed their plan to staying, I would assume one of two things. Either they were trying to be kind to me, by staying so I wouldn't have to, which wouldn't actually address the reason I was staying, or they were hoping to socialize, which might be great, and might be a problem if I was planning to sit and Starbucks and get some work done.

[Anonymous]

We were the gi to house for my oldest kid's friend group. I did a lot of cooking, driving, crafts and had a great relationship with the kids. They started calling me "Mommy Sharon" ( my first name) after one kid said it. I liked it and it seemed appropriate

[Anonymous]

When I was growing up, kids in my very tight-knit social circle tended to call adults they were very close with who weren't their own parents by Aunt or Uncle first name. Very few of us were actually related but once it was someone who felt more like family than even a close friend it just fit. The honorary mom title doesn't seem that weird to me unless something about the woman or the situation specifically gives bad vibes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal

Not "normal"

Why in the world would any kids who are not hers call her "mom"? Hell no

[Anonymous]

OP I do not think this is "normal"

If she actively doesn't want other parents staying I would not let my kid go.

I am not a controling parent. My kids rode the metro with friends at age 12 to hockey games.

This sounds too strange for me to allow my kid to stay alone.

[Anonymous]

Does she ever let her kids do activities when she’s not around? Does she ever let parents join her when she’s shuttles the kids around? If not then THAT is the weirdness.

The mom thing doesn’t bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they’re just using it as a cutesy term of endearment. I wouldn’t give it much thought.

I don't think it's cute and I would take a closer look at why this person is collecting children, especially when she has so many of her own.

Ding ding ding!! This right here. Why does this other mom want to organize these activities and won’t let the other parents stay, when she stays herself? I would keep a close eye on this. Maybe she is just needy for emotional validation but there could be something more sinister going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were the gi to house for my oldest kid's friend group. I did a lot of cooking, driving, crafts and had a great relationship with the kids. They started calling me "Mommy Sharon" ( my first name) after one kid said it. I liked it and it seemed appropriate

This for some reason seems less weird? Like mommy (your name) is more of a nickname than just straight up calling you “mom”.

[Anonymous]

Oh geez, I could be this mom, except I don’t live in DMV.
I usually stay in the area - mostly because it’s a hassle to go home only to turn around a short bit later for pickup. Sometimes other parents drive too, sometimes we hang out together, sometimes they go run errands.
A few of the kids have called me “Mrs. Mom” since they were in elementary. One boy said that because he couldn’t remember my name, and it just kinda of stuck and jokingly the other kids started doing that too.. and here I am 6 years later and they still call me “Mrs. Mom”
My house is the default hangout place for my DS friend group.