Son, 20, first signs of bipolar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

With bipolar 2 the mania is far less pronounced. I don’t know if OP’s son is bipolar but it is not correct that mania is always conspicuous and overblown.

I am not a MH professional but my son has bipolar 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you say more what made you think it might be bipolar?

Yes, please share with us OP!
I am wondering.

I don’t want to say too much, but he said he only feels extremes of either deep negativity or extreme happiness and that in the middle there is complete lack of feeling. He says he is most often in the negative space and to get through that he has to remind himself of the extreme happiness that will eventually come. He has never said anything like this before and he has always been a very subdued/cerebral person but also very rigid and black/white. He has said this a few times now and it has me worried.

Your comment about him being cerebral and rigid (in addition to his symptoms) makes me wonder if he is neurodivergent. My child was late diagnosed with autism with a family history of bipolar. They had a somewhat similar experience of a baseline of mostly depression and numbness with mixed periods of an alarming high or deep sadness. The high would only be a few hours and was actually uncomfortable and not a normal happiness. Then back to a sad baseline. Then a different night sobbing and saying that they were so sad that it “physically hurt.”

We went to excellent psychiatrist who ruled out bipolar. The child was diagnosed with Autism, Anxiety and Depression. (They had been diagnosed ADHD in elementary school). They are on an antidepressant and stimulant. They have been stable for almost 3 years. HTH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

Thanks. Are you a mental health professional?

OP is studiously avoiding the question of whether her son is being seen by a psychiatrist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

Thanks. Are you a mental health professional?

OP is studiously avoiding the question of whether her son is being seen by a psychiatrist.

Maybe read the OP more closely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you say more what made you think it might be bipolar?

Yes, please share with us OP!
I am wondering.

I don’t want to say too much, but he said he only feels extremes of either deep negativity or extreme happiness and that in the middle there is complete lack of feeling. He says he is most often in the negative space and to get through that he has to remind himself of the extreme happiness that will eventually come. He has never said anything like this before and he has always been a very subdued/cerebral person but also very rigid and black/white. He has said this a few times now and it has me worried.

Your comment about him being cerebral and rigid (in addition to his symptoms) makes me wonder if he is neurodivergent. My child was late diagnosed with autism with a family history of bipolar. They had a somewhat similar experience of a baseline of mostly depression and numbness with mixed periods of an alarming high or deep sadness. The high would only be a few hours and was actually uncomfortable and not a normal happiness. Then back to a sad baseline. Then a different night sobbing and saying that they were so sad that it “physically hurt.”

We went to excellent psychiatrist who ruled out bipolar. The child was diagnosed with Autism, Anxiety and Depression. (They had been diagnosed ADHD in elementary school). They are on an antidepressant and stimulant. They have been stable for almost 3 years. HTH

Thanks. I've wondered about that too. How did you find the psychiatrist? Finding healthcare providers in the DMV is always a bit paralyzing.

[Anonymous]

Holy cow! I am so sorry that you are going through this.

[Anonymous]

I second getting the names and phone numbers of his closest friends or roommates. That is how we were able to get info when our post-college son went over the edge. I also believe our son's Sz symptoms were triggered from marijuana.

Thankfully in 7 years he has not had another horrid episode, however he also has not returned to "expectations". He is able to live in Dad's basement and work at a thrift shop for minimum wage. However, he cannot hold a job suitable to his Masters in Economics. He was brilliant and the typical "most likely to succeed".

But at least he does not think he is living in another dimension and that he needs to dive through the edge to get to the other side. Yeah, whatever that all means.

I believe he is laying off the MJ, which is why he has not had further Sz or BP episodes. He long ago gave up the psych meds which stabilized his emotions, but left him feeling "flat" and causing excessive weight gain on a previously tall, lanky frame.

He probably is drinking alcohol, but is very social, a political activist and seems stable emotionally.

Not what I expected 8 years ago, but at least his manic episodes did not get him arrested and he seems to have settled into a place where he is fairly independent and seems happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My now 23 year old has Bipolar Disorder and has been for quite awhile. Honestly I have not seen therapy as helpful and often seemed to make things worse. Management has been through medication and it was tough to get it right for a number of reasons, primarily because medication is trial and error anyway and you would be extremely lucky to get it right on the first try and also because he has comorbid ADHD and cannot function without stimulant medication which is contraindicated for those with bipolar. It was no minor feat to find a provider who would treat both conditions.

The two biggest hurdles to success are getting agreement to see a doctor - and remember, they are not going to talk to you, only your son. My son's don't talk to me even though he has given permission - not even to schedule appointments. You might get in faster with a psychiatric nurse practitioner and, while some will diss this route, our needle in a haystack provider who agreed to treat both the bipolar and the ADHD is a PNP and she is the only person to have been able to stabilize him over many years of treatment.

The second hurdle is getting medication compliance. Not only do you have the issue of intolerable side effects, but you also battle the mindset of when you feel better you don't believe you need it.

Your situation is complicated by the fact that he is likely leaving for Oregon in a couple of weeks and it is highly unlikely that you will be able to even get him in to a psychiatrist before he goes, even if he agrees. And, due to licensing and insurance requirements, you can't do teletherapy with a provider across country (or even across state lines in most cases). So you may need to figure out a support network in Oregon.

I hope you are wrong about your suspicions because it is a tough disease. But in the chance you are not, I will leave you with one last thing. I'd be trying to check in often with him once he leaves to return to college. I'd also be sure I had contact information for those with whom he spends his time. When my son spiraled it was fast and dangerous.

Similar situation with my child. Before your son heads back to school, be sure you both sign Hippa, ferpa, power of attorney forms, if you have not already. This is extremely important in the event he spirals downward at school.

Agree it’s a tough disease, especially with medication compliance and side effects. However, my kid graduated and is working. Not every day is great, but making steady progress.

[Anonymous]

Your son needs to see a doctor.

A medical professional will be able to triage and offer their professional assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd that OP feels qualified to say she is seeing signs of bipolar when she is not a therapist or other doctor.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

With bipolar 2 the mania is far less pronounced. I don’t know if OP’s son is bipolar but it is not correct that mania is always conspicuous and overblown.

I am not a MH professional but my son has bipolar 2.

That’s true but although it’s possible her son is describing hypomania it’s not all that compelling for that either.

I’m only pointing out bipolar (especially bipolar I) doesn’t seem like it’s especially likely bc the course of the illness is so different than depression. It’s very clear he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist at the first possible opportunity.

Good luck to you and your son, op! I know many people with wonderful, full lives with both depression and bipolar.

[Anonymous]

Agree with getting the hipaa waivers before he leaves.
Instead of calls, do regular face time and you call him — if you wait for him to call you he may only call when he is feeling fine.

I’d also want his location turned on.
Since you sat he’s cerebral, I might also give him some of the links to studies about the mental health effects of drugs. Kids really don’t know this stuff but anyone with a mental health susceptibility should not be smoking pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

With bipolar 2 the mania is far less pronounced. I don’t know if OP’s son is bipolar but it is not correct that mania is always conspicuous and overblown.

I am not a MH professional but my son has bipolar 2.

That’s true but although it’s possible her son is describing hypomania it’s not all that compelling for that either.

I’m only pointing out bipolar (especially bipolar I) doesn’t seem like it’s especially likely bc the course of the illness is so different than depression. It’s very clear he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist at the first possible opportunity.

Good luck to you and your son, op! I know many people with wonderful, full lives with both depression and bipolar.

DP. No, the course of bipolar 2 is “so different” than depression. There is a shocking amount of misinformation on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

With bipolar 2 the mania is far less pronounced. I don’t know if OP’s son is bipolar but it is not correct that mania is always conspicuous and overblown.

I am not a MH professional but my son has bipolar 2.

That’s true but although it’s possible her son is describing hypomania it’s not all that compelling for that either.

I’m only pointing out bipolar (especially bipolar I) doesn’t seem like it’s especially likely bc the course of the illness is so different than depression. It’s very clear he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist at the first possible opportunity.

Good luck to you and your son, op! I know many people with wonderful, full lives with both depression and bipolar.

DP. No, the course of bipolar 2 is “so different” than depression. There is a shocking amount of misinformation on this thread.

Is NOT so different from depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, book an appointment with the doctor. There is increasing evidence that bipolar disease is a physical disease caused by an autoimmune response, possibly to the Epstein-Barr Virus, Lupus or some other autoimmune diseases.

See here: https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/headlines/autoimmune-disease-or-psychotic-disorder/2025/04
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cti2.1116v
https://www.managedhealthcareexecutive.com/view/autoimmune-diseases-almost-double-mental-health-disorder-risk

Take your son in for a comprehensive checkup, noting your concerns about autoimmune diseases and/or inflammation. Do you have autoimmune diseases in your family? Do you see other signs of autoimmune disease? Does he have vivid dreams or nightmares?

Those do not say that bipolar disorder is caused by autoimmune diseases. The links say that many people with autoimmune diseases experience neuropsychiatric symptoms, and for some even symptoms of psychosis. The last one also says that people with autoimmune disease have increased risk of a psychiatric comorbidity.

+1 This. Op. Is your child being seen by an actual psychiatrist or a therapist? You need an actual diagnosis by a qualfied professional, not diagnosis by Internet randos. It's hard to schedule appointments, particularly in August, so get moving asap on this if you haven't already.

This.
Wishing you the best.
We are here if you need to vent or need us to listen