Son, 20, first signs of bipolar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd that OP feels qualified to say she is seeing signs of bipolar when she is not a therapist or other doctor.

+1 And she's not answering the question of whether her kid is actually seeing a psychiatrist or has plans to see a psychiatrist. Only that the kid is in therapy. This is why this forum is so dangerous. There's all sorts of weird trolls posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd that OP feels qualified to say she is seeing signs of bipolar when she is not a therapist or other doctor.

+1 And she's not answering the question of whether her kid is actually seeing a psychiatrist or has plans to see a psychiatrist. Only that the kid is in therapy. This is why this forum is so dangerous. There's all sorts of weird trolls posting.

Why is it dangerous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you say more what made you think it might be bipolar?

Yes, please share with us OP!
I am wondering.

I don’t want to say too much, but he said he only feels extremes of either deep negativity or extreme happiness and that in the middle there is complete lack of feeling. He says he is most often in the negative space and to get through that he has to remind himself of the extreme happiness that will eventually come. He has never said anything like this before and he has always been a very subdued/cerebral person but also very rigid and black/white. He has said this a few times now and it has me worried.

As a professional (not a therapist or doctor) who worked with families who had loved ones commit suicide, what would worry me is this. It is that period when a person is emerging from a deep depression and starting to feel better and get energy back that they are most at risk of suicide. The thought is that they know how bad the depression can be and they know it will come again but they don't feel like they can survive that low again. And, making the decision to suicide provides relief so they are at peace. Your son is recognizing this and so long as he can believe he can tolerate another depressive period, he may be ok. But there gets to be a point where it's too much for some people. Sometimes it is early on - I've had families with kids as young as 13 kill themselves. And sometimes, it's later in life. And it always shocks the family because it happens when they are on the upswing, not when they are really bad.

In my previous post, I suggested frequent check ins and getting contact information for those with whom he surrounds himself and your recent post makes me want to reiterate that suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd that OP feels qualified to say she is seeing signs of bipolar when she is not a therapist or other doctor.

+1 And she's not answering the question of whether her kid is actually seeing a psychiatrist or has plans to see a psychiatrist. Only that the kid is in therapy. This is why this forum is so dangerous. There's all sorts of weird trolls posting.

Why is it dangerous?

Because Internet morons shout out diagnoses that they are entirely qualified to render and which typically require actual diagnostic testing, and some people are stupid enough to believe them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 23 year old has Bipolar Disorder and has been for quite awhile. Honestly I have not seen therapy as helpful and often seemed to make things worse. Management has been through medication and it was tough to get it right for a number of reasons, primarily because medication is trial and error anyway and you would be extremely lucky to get it right on the first try and also because he has comorbid ADHD and cannot function without stimulant medication which is contraindicated for those with bipolar. It was no minor feat to find a provider who would treat both conditions.

The two biggest hurdles to success are getting agreement to see a doctor - and remember, they are not going to talk to you, only your son. My son's don't talk to me even though he has given permission - not even to schedule appointments. You might get in faster with a psychiatric nurse practitioner and, while some will diss this route, our needle in a haystack provider who agreed to treat both the bipolar and the ADHD is a PNP and she is the only person to have been able to stabilize him over many years of treatment.

The second hurdle is getting medication compliance. Not only do you have the issue of intolerable side effects, but you also battle the mindset of when you feel better you don't believe you need it.

Your situation is complicated by the fact that he is likely leaving for Oregon in a couple of weeks and it is highly unlikely that you will be able to even get him in to a psychiatrist before he goes, even if he agrees. And, due to licensing and insurance requirements, you can't do teletherapy with a provider across country (or even across state lines in most cases). So you may need to figure out a support network in Oregon.

I hope you are wrong about your suspicions because it is a tough disease. But in the chance you are not, I will leave you with one last thing. I'd be trying to check in often with him once he leaves to return to college. I'd also be sure I had contact information for those with whom he spends his time. When my son spiraled it was fast and dangerous.

Thank you very much, PP. I am sorry about your situation. Can you recommend your nurse practitioner? We talk to him on the phone weekly, and he always sounds fine then but I always wonder what’s going on when we are not calling. Are you saying we should visit often as well?

We are lucky in that my son is doing really well, but it was a long road. I appreciate your thoughts. Our PNP won't do out of state work so it might be hard to start up with her because she will want to have a lot of appointments in the beginning. She checks location at every single appointment my son says. We have a house in Delaware and if he has to talk to her while he's there, he has to drive to MD for the conversation. It's just one more thing that makes getting care difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd that OP feels qualified to say she is seeing signs of bipolar when she is not a therapist or other doctor.

+1 And she's not answering the question of whether her kid is actually seeing a psychiatrist or has plans to see a psychiatrist. Only that the kid is in therapy. This is why this forum is so dangerous. There's all sorts of weird trolls posting.

Why is it dangerous?

Because Internet morons shout out diagnoses that they are entirely qualified to render and which typically require actual diagnostic testing, and some people are stupid enough to believe them.

But we know they are anonymous posters on the internet, not an identified licensed professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd that OP feels qualified to say she is seeing signs of bipolar when she is not a therapist or other doctor.

+1 And she's not answering the question of whether her kid is actually seeing a psychiatrist or has plans to see a psychiatrist. Only that the kid is in therapy. This is why this forum is so dangerous. There's all sorts of weird trolls posting.

Why is it dangerous?

Because Internet morons shout out diagnoses that they are entirely qualified to render and which typically require actual diagnostic testing, and some people are stupid enough to believe them.

But we know they are anonymous posters on the internet, not an identified licensed professional.

Unfortunately some people just pick out the messages they want to hear and don't calibrate for quality of advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, book an appointment with the doctor. There is increasing evidence that bipolar disease is a physical disease caused by an autoimmune response, possibly to the Epstein-Barr Virus, Lupus or some other autoimmune diseases.

See here: https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/headlines/autoimmune-disease-or-psychotic-disorder/2025/04
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cti2.1116v
https://www.managedhealthcareexecutive.com/view/autoimmune-diseases-almost-double-mental-health-disorder-risk

Take your son in for a comprehensive checkup, noting your concerns about autoimmune diseases and/or inflammation. Do you have autoimmune diseases in your family? Do you see other signs of autoimmune disease? Does he have vivid dreams or nightmares?

Those do not say that bipolar disorder is caused by autoimmune diseases. The links say that many people with autoimmune diseases experience neuropsychiatric symptoms, and for some even symptoms of psychosis. The last one also says that people with autoimmune disease have increased risk of a psychiatric comorbidity.

I would go out on a limb here and say that all mental illness is caused by something organic. They used to recognize that schizophrenia was somehow connected to month of birth. Now they know it's connected to the mother having the flu during pregnancy, which is why month of birth made a difference. OCD is caused by strep. And on and on. We just don't know all the causes yet.

Off topic The epigenetic angle scares me so much as a mother. Maybe it is bias confirmation but I see it in my own children and how I took care of myself during their respective pregnancies.

Good luck, OP. Your son is so lucky you are tuned in!!

[Anonymous]

I would focus on getting your son set up with a psychiatrist in Oregon because he'll be back there before you can get in anywhere here, and he won't be able to do tele health appointments with someone out of state. He'll need follow up appointments, especially at first.

I would see if your son is open to signing a HIPAA waiver so that his doctors could communicate with you.

It's unclear from what you've said if his extreme good moods are mania. Does he act strangely or make impulse decisions? Or is it just that he feels great? Hopefully he'll get in to see a psychiatrist soon.

[Anonymous]

Thankfully, I have no personal experience of this and I am not any sort of medical expert. Friends facing this issue have found this organization helpful. https://www.nami.org/
Assuming you aren't a troll, I would call into the organization and explain your concerns and ask for advice on how to proceed.

I would also ask your son to waive FERPA-- or whatever the right law is --rights so you have access to his records at the student health center on campus. See if you can get him to give you a power of attorney to act on his behalf if he is incapacitated.You don't have to say you're worried about his mental capacity; just say that you want to be able to make decision for him should he be in an accident and unconscious and not able to make his own decisions.

A former friend's daughter is bipolar. It surfaced her junior year in high school. She got it under control and went off to a top LAC. The night before Christmas vacation her sophomore year my friend got a call from the director of health services. The daughter was refusing to take her meds after being compliant for a long time and the campus shrink was worried that she was entering a manic phase. He gave her parents a "heads up" so they could be aware of the situation. My understanding is that the daughter had signed something that let the doctor do that. It's a long time ago now, so I am not sure it still works the same way, but it was helpful to them back then, so you might check out if that's possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully, I have no personal experience of this and I am not any sort of medical expert. Friends facing this issue have found this organization helpful. https://www.nami.org/
Assuming you aren't a troll, I would call into the organization and explain your concerns and ask for advice on how to proceed.

I would also ask your son to waive FERPA-- or whatever the right law is --rights so you have access to his records at the student health center on campus. See if you can get him to give you a power of attorney to act on his behalf if he is incapacitated.You don't have to say you're worried about his mental capacity; just say that you want to be able to make decision for him should he be in an accident and unconscious and not able to make his own decisions.

A former friend's daughter is bipolar. It surfaced her junior year in high school. She got it under control and went off to a top LAC. The night before Christmas vacation her sophomore year my friend got a call from the director of health services. The daughter was refusing to take her meds after being compliant for a long time and the campus shrink was worried that she was entering a manic phase. He gave her parents a "heads up" so they could be aware of the situation. My understanding is that the daughter had signed something that let the doctor do that. It's a long time ago now, so I am not sure it still works the same way, but it was helpful to them back then, so you might check out if that's possible.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on getting your son set up with a psychiatrist in Oregon because he'll be back there before you can get in anywhere here, and he won't be able to do tele health appointments with someone out of state. He'll need follow up appointments, especially at first.

I would see if your son is open to signing a HIPAA waiver so that his doctors could communicate with you.

It's unclear from what you've said if his extreme good moods are mania. Does he act strangely or make impulse decisions? Or is it just that he feels great? Hopefully he'll get in to see a psychiatrist soon.

Thank you. I have not observed his positive moods personally as this only started a few weeks ago and he has been away at college. I am going by what he said - that he either feels only very low or very high and nothing in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, book an appointment with the doctor. There is increasing evidence that bipolar disease is a physical disease caused by an autoimmune response, possibly to the Epstein-Barr Virus, Lupus or some other autoimmune diseases.

See here: https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/headlines/autoimmune-disease-or-psychotic-disorder/2025/04
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cti2.1116v
https://www.managedhealthcareexecutive.com/view/autoimmune-diseases-almost-double-mental-health-disorder-risk

Take your son in for a comprehensive checkup, noting your concerns about autoimmune diseases and/or inflammation. Do you have autoimmune diseases in your family? Do you see other signs of autoimmune disease? Does he have vivid dreams or nightmares?

Those do not say that bipolar disorder is caused by autoimmune diseases. The links say that many people with autoimmune diseases experience neuropsychiatric symptoms, and for some even symptoms of psychosis. The last one also says that people with autoimmune disease have increased risk of a psychiatric comorbidity.

NP. Isn’t possible some people are misdiagnosed, like the woman in the news recently that was thought to have schizophrenia and then she got treated for something else and suddenly she wasn’t schizophrenic anymore.

[Anonymous]

This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like bipolar at all but it does sound like he has been seriously depressed and needs to see a psychiatrist asap. (Mania is really very conspicuous-it has things like a major departure in speech, vastly different sleep, wildly increased energy, majorly different behavior, not simply an internal feeling of being in a good mood.)

Thanks. Are you a mental health professional?