What did your parents push you to do that you are grateful for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish my parents had pushed me more and encouraged me to find a strength and build on it. They were more hands off, letting me make my own decisions and mistakes, which can be a good approach versus micromanaging, but I think they went too far the other way. I don't mean to criticize them and don't blame them for my mistakes.

I took the same approach with my child and now wish I had been a bit more hands on. Not a helicopter parent but guiding, like many PPs have described.

Same here. It worked well for me since I followed some smart friends into amazing clubs teams and ECs, which we did for all four years and worked our way up the totem polls.

Now I have kids who prefer to stay home in screens, so we forbid that. And one says No to everything even though she is quite tall and athletic and a fantastic pitch perfect singer.

What do you do with a 12 yo who always say No to everything?

Maybe she needs to go to private school.

[Anonymous]

Poles

[Anonymous]

You are never going to win in this situation.

I pushed my kids to learn piano. They hated it. I let them drop it as soon as they reached some level of proficiency (like being able to play Moonlight Sonata). DC was like 10 or so.

They are now 20 and said they regret stopping piano lesson, and how I should've pushed them to continue. GRRR

Also made DC do some physical activity. They tried ALL kinds of sports. Never stuck to one. Always said it was boring. When they were an older teen, they said they should've stuck to one because they weren't really good at any sport, and how I should've made them stick to one. GRRR

I didn't want to be a pushy tiger mom, so I let them quit.

Can't win.

DC told me that when they become a parent, they are going to make their kid stick to these things. My response was, "Sure, we'll see".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financial literacy

This plus to not get married out of sense of obligation. They always told me "a man is not a plan" and to make my own money so I didn't have to rely on anyone.

[Anonymous]

I wish my mom made me cook from a very young age. I see many women who are expert cooks and have a sense of timing and organizing, that I do not. Yes, I am a great cook now - but I am not super efficient or fast. I have learned by reading the recipe books, but I wish mom had taught me the routine cooking.

That's pretty much it. My only vent.

[Anonymous]

Be frugal, be punctual, and do a good job at work (don't half a$$ it and do bare minimum). I passed that on to my kids.

Also they did not teach me this, but I saw them be kind to strangers. There was a utility worker working alone outside in the heat, and my parents gave him something to drink and eat. He was so appreciative. My parents are immigrants and don't speak English, and they did not have much, but they know what it is like to toil in the hot sun. I was in ES/MS when this happened, and I will always remember that moment.

I did the same for a day laborer who was working in our yard to clear the trees after a big storm. I hope my kids learn compassion from me, if nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish my mom made me cook from a very young age. I see many women who are expert cooks and have a sense of timing and organizing, that I do not. Yes, I am a great cook now - but I am not super efficient or fast. I have learned by reading the recipe books, but I wish mom had taught me the routine cooking.

That's pretty much it. My only vent.

My mom never taught us how to cook, and we asked her why she didn't. She said that she thought we would eventually figure it out, and she didn't want us to have to cook so early when we didn't have to. She hated cooking, even though everyone loved her cooking.

I didn't learn to cook until I was 42, and now after 12 years, people like my cooking. I was a horrible cook earlier on, so when people ask me for my recipe now, I feel so honored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are never going to win in this situation.

I pushed my kids to learn piano. They hated it. I let them drop it as soon as they reached some level of proficiency (like being able to play Moonlight Sonata). DC was like 10 or so.

They are now 20 and said they regret stopping piano lesson, and how I should've pushed them to continue. GRRR

Also made DC do some physical activity. They tried ALL kinds of sports. Never stuck to one. Always said it was boring. When they were an older teen, they said they should've stuck to one because they weren't really good at any sport, and how I should've made them stick to one. GRRR

I didn't want to be a pushy tiger mom, so I let them quit.

Can't win.

DC told me that when they become a parent, they are going to make their kid stick to these things. My response was, "Sure, we'll see".

Yeah don’t let them quit everything or curb through activities never getting any good. Lay down the law. Bribe and coddle them into something that’s a good fit for their body, shape, skills, attitude. Be a cheerleader. Fake it til then make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sit together at the dinner table. No tv on. No taking a plate and eating elsewhere.

+1 we practice the same w our kids. Ppl would come over and wonder why there is no TV in the living room, or family room or the kitchen.