My gf screens all emails from my ex (divorced)

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t want to completely block my ex because we share grown children, but so many of her missives are boundary-crossing or just nasty and unnecessary and unhelpful. So now for months everything goes to a new email address that I don’t access, and my gf reads them before sharing them with me if there is something important or helpful. I provide responses when needed.

It’s a big relief, and also reassures my gf that I’m not carrying on with my ex behind her back, but I feel a little guilty about this arrangement.

Is there a better way to handle this?


Is your ex wife still bored what's after divorce? Maybe she needs a psychiatric evaluation
For real why do some people can't just let it go.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:GF isn't exactly a neutral party.


Yeah, but how is OP going to find a neutral party who wants to take on this task? We're going for the least bad option here.


Maybe there is a business opportunity here!
Anonymous
I think this set up will just build resentment of your ex with your current partner which is not healthy or a reason to pawn your desire to not deal with your ex’s emails.

You can ignore your ex. You can still have the emails go elsewhere. But you should be the one reading those emails, not your partner.

Different issue of you trying to solve the problem of your partner being jealous. That’s not healthy - you have kids and you have freedom to communicate with your ex even if the kids are grown. I wouldn’t indulge your ex this way if this was their request. If it was your suggestion because you don’t want to deal with it that’s not cool. Just don’t read them.
Anonymous
PO *indulge your current partner that is, not your ex.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think this set up will just build resentment of your ex with your current partner which is not healthy or a reason to pawn your desire to not deal with your ex’s emails.

You can ignore your ex. You can still have the emails go elsewhere. But you should be the one reading those emails, not your partner.

Different issue of you trying to solve the problem of your partner being jealous. That’s not healthy - you have kids and you have freedom to communicate with your ex even if the kids are grown. I wouldn’t indulge your ex this way if this was their request. If it was your suggestion because you don’t want to deal with it that’s not cool. Just don’t read them.


The freedom to communicate was being overused/abused by both of us to a degree that would be unhealthy to the new serious relationship, any new serious relationship. And the goal of my ex was partly to foul up my new relationship. So I decided with my gf that this screening approach would nip the whole thing in the bud. No new partner should have to worry about their partner being pen pals with their ex.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t want to completely block my ex because we share grown children, but so many of her missives are boundary-crossing or just nasty and unnecessary and unhelpful. So now for months everything goes to a new email address that I don’t access, and my gf reads them before sharing them with me if there is something important or helpful. I provide responses when needed.

It’s a big relief, and also reassures my gf that I’m not carrying on with my ex behind her back, but I feel a little guilty about this arrangement.

Is there a better way to handle this?


Many better ways, none of which put your gf in the middle of this. There is absolutely no way I would want to the the significant other in this situation. How awful, toxic and inappropriate.
Anonymous
Your girlfriend sounds completely inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if it’s your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriend and or your friend or your parents or whatever she shouldn’t be reading your messages.

If she doesn’t trust you, she doesn’t trust you. I honestly would break up with anybody who did this. They’re not allowed to read any messages from anyone. I wouldn’t allow this married. I don’t allowed divorced. I don’t allow it and a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It’s a complete disrespect of privacy. You’re an adult not a child.

-a woman
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why anyone past 50 with grown children would call their partner a girlfriend. She isn't a girl nor just a friend. She is your partner or significant other.


This is a ridiculous comment. I’m two years from 50 and sometimes people aren’t a significant other or a partner and they are just a girlfriend or boyfriend. I personally am never having a partner or significant other again, but I will happily have a boyfriend and that is it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Your girlfriend sounds completely inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if it’s your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriend and or your friend or your parents or whatever she shouldn’t be reading your messages.

If she doesn’t trust you, she doesn’t trust you. I honestly would break up with anybody who did this. They’re not allowed to read any messages from anyone. I wouldn’t allow this married. I don’t allowed divorced. I don’t allow it and a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It’s a complete disrespect of privacy. You’re an adult not a child.

-a woman


Yeah. This is psycho on the girlfriend’s part.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why anyone past 50 with grown children would call their partner a girlfriend. She isn't a girl nor just a friend. She is your partner or significant other.


This is a ridiculous comment. I’m two years from 50 and sometimes people aren’t a significant other or a partner and they are just a girlfriend or boyfriend. I personally am never having a partner or significant other again, but I will happily have a boyfriend and that is it.



It sounds like you have a boo thang. Or thangs.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your girlfriend sounds completely inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if it’s your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriend and or your friend or your parents or whatever she shouldn’t be reading your messages.

If she doesn’t trust you, she doesn’t trust you. I honestly would break up with anybody who did this. They’re not allowed to read any messages from anyone. I wouldn’t allow this married. I don’t allowed divorced. I don’t allow it and a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It’s a complete disrespect of privacy. You’re an adult not a child.

-a woman


Yeah. This is psycho on the girlfriend’s part.


While the GF is admittedly off her rocker, it's for participating in this boundary-less, drama-filled nonsense between an unhinged (maybe? I reserve judgement on any woman called "crazy" by an exDH) exDW and her current beau who apparently can't find his balls with two hands and a flashlight. A man who needs mommy #2 to fight mommy #1? Form an orderly line, ladies...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your girlfriend sounds completely inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if it’s your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriend and or your friend or your parents or whatever she shouldn’t be reading your messages.

If she doesn’t trust you, she doesn’t trust you. I honestly would break up with anybody who did this. They’re not allowed to read any messages from anyone. I wouldn’t allow this married. I don’t allowed divorced. I don’t allow it and a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It’s a complete disrespect of privacy. You’re an adult not a child.

-a woman


Yeah. This is psycho on the girlfriend’s part.


While the GF is admittedly off her rocker, it's for participating in this boundary-less, drama-filled nonsense between an unhinged (maybe? I reserve judgement on any woman called "crazy" by an exDH) exDW and her current beau who apparently can't find his balls with two hands and a flashlight. A man who needs mommy #2 to fight mommy #1? Form an orderly line, ladies...



Very messy
Very sloppy
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your girlfriend sounds completely inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if it’s your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriend and or your friend or your parents or whatever she shouldn’t be reading your messages.

If she doesn’t trust you, she doesn’t trust you. I honestly would break up with anybody who did this. They’re not allowed to read any messages from anyone. I wouldn’t allow this married. I don’t allowed divorced. I don’t allow it and a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It’s a complete disrespect of privacy. You’re an adult not a child.

-a woman


Yeah. This is psycho on the girlfriend’s part.


While the GF is admittedly off her rocker, it's for participating in this boundary-less, drama-filled nonsense between an unhinged (maybe? I reserve judgement on any woman called "crazy" by an exDH) exDW and her current beau who apparently can't find his balls with two hands and a flashlight. A man who needs mommy #2 to fight mommy #1? Form an orderly line, ladies...


This is a funny image but honestly a woman is probably more effective at shutting down another woman's b.s.
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