I think my boyfriend may not be straight..

[Anonymous]

I don't think the why matters, two years without sex with your boyfriend? Why would you stay in that relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a 5 year relationship end because the guy eventually revealed he was gay! AMA

Ooh how did he reveal it? Had he proposed to you yet? Did you two live together?

Sorry!! I’m back!
There were definite signs. It’s embarrassing for me in retrospect, but he was super into baking, gardening, board games, and softer hobbies like that. I also had to start begging and negotiating for sex, which is weird because I was hot and kinky at the time.

We had talked about marriage. Looked at rings. I spent weeks in the summer with his family in upstate New York.

Even though we’d been together 3-4 years, he adamantly didn’t want to move in together. I started getting pushy about either moving forward or splitting, and he told me he was attracted to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general women are by far more likely to question their boyfriends/husbands sexuality when he is "different" from other men..Women like to lecture us that we should not lump all.womem in all bad but they are quick to do so.when it comes to men.

Well, clealry I never really did. Like I said, I thought he just had some super nerdy interests I’m not into and didn’t really look into before. I only very recently started questioning his sexuality bc of the amount of time he spends with that friend and then I started reading about the interests I don’t have that he does… and started actually opening some his books to see what kind of things he notes while reading.

And to the PP questioning if this is fake based on his career. Most colleges employ adjuncts who have totally separate full-time work…

I didn’t spent two years thinking he might be gay. It’s only been like a month, at that, of me starting to wonder. No way he’d tell me. Hence asking online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a 5 year relationship end because the guy eventually revealed he was gay! AMA

Ooh how did he reveal it? Had he proposed to you yet? Did you two live together?

Sorry!! I’m back!
There were definite signs. It’s embarrassing for me in retrospect, but he was super into baking, gardening, board games, and softer hobbies like that. I also had to start begging and negotiating for sex, which is weird because I was hot and kinky at the time.

We had talked about marriage. Looked at rings. I spent weeks in the summer with his family in upstate New York.

Even though we’d been together 3-4 years, he adamantly didn’t want to move in together. I started getting pushy about either moving forward or splitting, and he told me he was attracted to men.

Sorry that happened to you and thanks for sharing you experience. Based off the hobbies you listed, I would have been clueless too. A lot of men enjoy baking, bored games, gardening… My bf’s favorite hobbies are above my head so I only started questioning. A while ago he said a friend thought he was attractive and I asked if they were gay. He said “I don’t know bi or something… it’s not like I’m going to sleep with him.” We had been drinking so I didn’t question further but should have. I don’t think he’d admit he told me that but oh I remember and now it’s really interesting.

Anyway, yes it will end. I just was looking for some clarity and solidarity. Seems many have been blindsided by partners who were never actually attracted their gender. Thanks to the few helpful comments.

[Anonymous]

You dont seem to like him and neither of you want to have sex with each other. Who cares if he’s gay. Life is too short to be in an unfulfilling relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There were definite signs. It’s embarrassing for me in retrospect, but he was super into baking, gardening, board games, and softer hobbies like that. I also had to start begging and negotiating for sex, which is weird because I was hot and kinky at the time.

Even though we’d been together 3-4 years, he adamantly didn’t want to move in together. I started getting pushy about either moving forward or splitting, and he told me he was attracted to men.

The misandry here is really gross. "softer hobbies" like making food and playing games? What would you have preferred? "hard hobbies" like robbing banks and stealing cars? Men are allowed to enjoy making food. They eat, and they should know how to cook. Implying they're gay because they can bake is 1) homophobic; and 2) stupid. Do you not like cookies? bread? pastry? If it doesn't require your genitals to operate, it's not a sex-linked toy/hobby/activity. Let men do "soft" things. Damn...

Also, and I know this is going to be a shock to you, but women aren't entitled to sex any more than men are, regardless of how "hot and kinky" they consider themselves to be. Begging someone for something they're not willing to give is YOUR fault. Respect the lines people draw, and move accordingly. You shouldn't be with someone for 3-4 years, waiting for them to change and meet your needs and expectations. If he doesn't want sex and you do, break up and go give it to someone who wants it.

Being a woman isn't an asshat pass.

[Anonymous]

You’re obviously a troll, but if anyone in a real situation needs advice, you can break up because he’s being secretive. You can break up because you’re not having sex. It doesn’t matter if he’s gay or not. He's not giving you want you want so just dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There were definite signs. It’s embarrassing for me in retrospect, but he was super into baking, gardening, board games, and softer hobbies like that. I also had to start begging and negotiating for sex, which is weird because I was hot and kinky at the time.

Even though we’d been together 3-4 years, he adamantly didn’t want to move in together. I started getting pushy about either moving forward or splitting, and he told me he was attracted to men.

The misandry here is really gross. "softer hobbies" like making food and playing games? What would you have preferred? "hard hobbies" like robbing banks and stealing cars? Men are allowed to enjoy making food. They eat, and they should know how to cook. Implying they're gay because they can bake is 1) homophobic; and 2) stupid. Do you not like cookies? bread? pastry? If it doesn't require your genitals to operate, it's not a sex-linked toy/hobby/activity. Let men do "soft" things. Damn...

Also, and I know this is going to be a shock to you, but women aren't entitled to sex any more than men are, regardless of how "hot and kinky" they consider themselves to be. Begging someone for something they're not willing to give is YOUR fault. Respect the lines people draw, and move accordingly. You shouldn't be with someone for 3-4 years, waiting for them to change and meet your needs and expectations. If he doesn't want sex and you do, break up and go give it to someone who wants it.

Being a woman isn't an asshat pass.

All of this. +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the why matters, two years without sex with your boyfriend? Why would you stay in that relationship?

+1. Yes, he’s probably gay, but it doesn’t really matter. You need to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general women are by far more likely to question their boyfriends/husbands sexuality when he is "different" from other men..Women like to lecture us that we should not lump all.womem in all bad but they are quick to do so.when it comes to men.

Well, clealry I never really did. Like I said, I thought he just had some super nerdy interests I’m not into and didn’t really look into before. I only very recently started questioning his sexuality bc of the amount of time he spends with that friend and then I started reading about the interests I don’t have that he does… and started actually opening some his books to see what kind of things he notes while reading.

And to the PP questioning if this is fake based on his career. Most colleges employ adjuncts who have totally separate full-time work…

I didn’t spent two years thinking he might be gay. It’s only been like a month, at that, of me starting to wonder. No way he’d tell me. Hence asking online.

What kind of things was he noting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a 5 year relationship end because the guy eventually revealed he was gay! AMA

Was he only into ana! with you ?

Did he request pegging?

I peg DH and it turns me on…

Girl, same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a 5 year relationship end because the guy eventually revealed he was gay! AMA

Was he only into ana! with you ?

Did he request pegging?

I peg DH and it turns me on…

What does he think about it?