I absolutely understand your feelings about this but you should be a bit more open minded about the financial freedom you this could give you. A kid in an honors college at any sec is going to be surrounded by like minded academic students while being propped up by huge merit awards plus a lower cost of living. I know it’s easy to be idealistic at 17 but you have to look at real world solutions since your parents have truly screwed you over here. Get a full ride on merit (anywhere you can but the sec is your best choice) stand out there in undergrad,since it will be easier in a less competitive environment, and go for prestige in grad program. It’s tough to hear but you aren’t the only high stats kid that can’t go to a T20 for whatever reason. You want a solution that doesn’t include a CC or crippling debt well this is it. |
With all the CC recs I'm starting to seriously consider it but now I'm wondering about how if I took that pathway I might not be allowed to live at home. I honestly think that if I, the academic pride of the family who gets bragged about to everyone they know, ended up at CC, they'd be infuriated that they wasted time + money on my academic pursuits/ECs for nothing, or talk about how even though they came from low income backgrounds they still managed to pay their way at a 4 year college talked about frequently on this forum (and we used to live in-state for that college, which I would have a great shot of getting into with my stats + double legacy, but then we moved) |
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UNC is not a target for anyone out of state. You need to change your mindset.
And since you’re going to med school, you need to focus on graduating with as little debt as possible. |
My friend decided on a Jesuit college for her kid who wants to be Pre-Med. She looked into what it takes to get into med school...great grades, faculty recommendations, top on-campus research experiences, small classes for pre-reqs, etc. She also was very concerned about cost of attendance. This person is a wealth advisor with a degree from a Top 30 university. It seems quite likely to me that this kid will be able to get into med school as top of his class as long as he gets great MCATs. This is in the Midwest. But you could look at schools out your way. |
| Yes to the PP who suggested becoming a non-dependent and applying for aid on your own—talk to your school counselor about what would be needed for this pathway. Cheering on your success!! |
OP, you might be able to get your parents to chip in at the last minute precisely because of that feeling of embarrassment. Definitely do both applying to the CC route and applying to whatever you want. Then tell them...I think I'm going to go to Community College next year instead of Michigan or Cornell or William & Mary because even one year is $90K more of debt that I can't afford on my own. Then see what they do. It may be that you're trapped in an emotional contest but you haven't realized you have leverage, too. I've known parents who tried to be hardasses with their kids but then caved at critical points. Give yourself multiple options. What everyone is trying to tell you is that you shouldn't take out loans for tens of thousands of dollars purely for the social fun of being a freshman at a better than baseline school. CC is really the smart fallback bet these days. My kid knows someone at his Top 30 school who is choosing to drop out of ROTC, and because of that is transferring after freshman year from former OOS dream school back to home state flagship. I transferred from one flagship to another after freshman year because the first was too much of a party school. Didn't see that coming. A kid from my high school was there with me and as a sophomore, he transferred from state flagship to Yale undergrad. Life has a lot of twists and turns. Be open-minded and financially prudent. |
| You have to go to the best in state program you get into. |
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You are not a brat. It’s really no different than you coming from a poor family. Not your fault for being born into this family. This is a situation many kids are in.
If you are a high stats student chase the money but T20 schools will probably not happen for merit. Look at a Stamps scholarship. There are 37 schools they partner with and most offer full cost of attendance plus enrichment grants. They are competitive but if it’s more about leadership and passion than just grades and scores. My kid is at one of the schools. She is actually making money! There are so many other schools that offer full rides. Look at NC State Park scholarship…if you are National Merit UT Dallas offers full ride so does VCU. And as you mentioned before ROTC. Several of her friends went that route and they are at Cornell and Brown. When others say you can borrow as a student there is a limit to that your parents will have to take out a parent plus loan which doesn’t sound like they will. YOU can do this! Not sure if you stated what year you are in but highly recommend to start early. Merit scholarships usually need to be in Oct 15, Nov 1 and in some cases Dec 1. The earlier the better. Goodluck! |
or not white |
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I missed- did you parents say they were not going to pay at all?
Do they have savings - but those savings are not tagged for your college? Have you sat down with them to discuss what they are able to contribute? |
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12 colleges
include your MITs and your state schools. there's no chance , if you get into MIT, and drop in public: "I got into MIT but parents aren't contributing to college and I can't pay for it " that your parents will survive socially. burn it down. also, you're probably not getting into MIT so also apply to places like state flagship and places like small privates with good med school acceptances and great FA. Rhodes comes to mind. GL! |
I am sorry you are in that situation but the reality of it is you will need to adjust your expectations. Saying you only like one state school option is a bad attitude to have in your situation. You will need to cast your application net more widely. Apply to schools that offer more merit aid. Consider starting at community college. Once you are in, apply to be an RA to get room and board covered in later years. Keep applying for local scholarships. And so on. It sucks to be in your situation but the sooner you learn beggars can’t be choosers, the sooner you can get some clarity. |
I am guessing that even with 300k your family has a lifestyle where you think they are rich but they actually don’t have as much cashflow as you think. And certainly not the $50k+ William and Mary will cost per year between tuition, room and board and other incidentals. Will they sigh parent plus loans? |
SO go somewhere you can get a full ride for undergrad. No, it won't be as fancy but if you are a high achiever it will pave your way to med school. I went to a small state school and was valedictorian, went straight to Harvard for grad school. This is not the tragedy you think it is. |
Had neighbors who sent their kid to Alabama on a full ride and he went to Duke for med school. |