DS acting strangely... Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Also - if you can look through his phone without him knowing that’s what I would do first. I only suggest this usually for serious concerns….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also - if you can look through his phone without him knowing that’s what I would do first. I only suggest this usually for serious concerns….

This is why I have all my kids log ins for their social medias and my phone number and email are the contacts to change. I rarely use them. I give them privacy but when something is up, I have access if needed.

[Anonymous]

Why are you acting like he’s a random guy who lives with you? He’s your kid and you are responsible for figuring this out. Talk to him, search him, search his room and phone, doctor, psychiatrist, everything you can think of. Get in his face and figure this out. It’s only a mystery because you won’t interact with him.

[Anonymous]

Drug test today. No advanced warning. Just take him to the bathroom and do it.

No phone after 9pm.

[Anonymous]

Check his phone, computer, iPad/tablet. Conduct a drug test. Is he a gamer with a TV and game system in his room? Ask him what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Meth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Drug test him
2. Sew an air tag inside his backpack
3. Put life 360 on his phone - make sure they both (air tag and 360 locations) are in the same place or he’s trying to play you.
4. No electronics in bedroom after 10pm
5. Set downtime on his phone during school and limit social media apps to 1 hour a day. You can set this up on your own phone
6. If no drugs or leaving school or sneaking out, he could be depressed or has a bullying issue ur break-up.
7.Why is his lacrosse coach letting him play or practice if he is missing classes. That’s a huge no in our high school. I would email his counselor and cc his coach on his absenteeism issues and work ethic.
8. When you ask him if he is ok, what is he saying? Do you know his friends well enough or no?

All of this and you should have 100% access to all his social medias. You would not believe how terrible some kids are and the trouble they get into and how they live on their phone and can’t bounce back on their own. Your son is crying for YOU to help with obvious signs of weight loss, lack of caring, lack of school attendance, etc…

Most teens smoke weed from carts now or take edibles. You can’t smell it like back in our days. If they are in their room and disengaged I would think it is something like this.

For some reason when teen boys get into a small hole it just gets to be an even bigger hole. Their egos are the issue but OP he is crying for help. Do the steps above. You are his mom. Not his friend

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you are doing okay, and your kid, too. Thinking of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meth

No. Not meth. Not opioids either. Possibly THC. That is not a good thing for 15 year olds to use given how much is happening neurologically in adolescence. I would definitely drug test.

But I would be more worried about depression and anxiety. Or possibly bipolar. Something is obviously going on. Would approach this with compassion.

[Anonymous]

Whether it is drugs or not OP, the root cause sounds like depression or some of mental issues. Most stable secure teens don’t just start losing focus, not going to school and losing weight.

So even if drugs are involved, it’s not the root cause. Teens do drugs and get hooked when they don’t feel good about themselves and life. This isn’t a trying it here or there at a party peer pressure thing.

So for me I would want to get pass the outer exterior of denial or drugs and find out what’s happening. And that takes medical appointment, blood work up, drug test, hormone testing, and getting him to see a therapist or psychiatrist. And even then it might take awhile.

But limited phone for sure, making sure the diet is healthy and just loving more than accusing is a good approach to start.

Good luck and update us OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those were the exact same behaviors my son started exhibiting at age 15. Like to a T. It was not drugs or vaping. It was the onset of bipolar 2, which came with the most serious crushing depression and self injurious behavior and serious (not cry for help) suicide attempts as well as violence towards others.

This happened to my brother in his late teens/20s. He has never been tested for bipolar- my parents missed the signs. He was very smart, but has had lifelong issues related to mental illness. He does have delusions, hallucinations and paranoia, and is now 53.

[Anonymous]

Also test out adding an air tag. His phone may alert him to a nearby AirTag.

This is a great safety feature - we were notified of this on a rental car (which it was a private rental, so it was their right to attach this to their car).

So, if you turn it on and out it in the pocket of his backpack, have his phone with you at the same time.

[Anonymous]

OP are you going to update?

[Anonymous]

If he's walking around when he should be sleeping, that could explain the lack of focus, lack of paying attention, mood swings, and irritability. It could be blue light from too much screen time. Also hormonal changes cause kids to stay up later. If he's absent from class, where is he? Taking naps? I wouldn't jump to conclusions that he's doing drugs. Try to figure out if there is something about class that he is avoiding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those were the exact same behaviors my son started exhibiting at age 15. Like to a T. It was not drugs or vaping. It was the onset of bipolar 2, which came with the most serious crushing depression and self injurious behavior and serious (not cry for help) suicide attempts as well as violence towards others.

This happened to my brother in his late teens/20s. He has never been tested for bipolar- my parents missed the signs. He was very smart, but has had lifelong issues related to mental illness. He does have delusions, hallucinations and paranoia, and is now 53.

PP to whom you are responding. In all fairness to your parents, we have so much more information now and there is so much less stigma. Plus there is effective treatment. So it’s not surprising that it was missed. I’m sorry about your brother. Fortunately my son is stable now but it took years. And it’s been so long that I almost forgot about the paranoia, which was so unbelievably life limiting.