DS acting strangely... Any advice?

[Anonymous]

My son (15) has developed some strange new behaviors over the past few months.

He hasn't been sleeping like normal lately. In the past couple of weeks, I have been woken up by walking around the house at very early hours. I'm not sure what he has been doing. I'm thinking about installing an alarm system on the house/windows, but I haven't heard him exiting. We live in a safe area in NoVa, so I haven't been worried about this until now.


I've also gotten emails from FCPS from his teachers expressing concern about his absences and/or his lack of energy/paying attention. He's normally a motivated student, and I worry about what's keeping him from class.

Along with his disturbed sleeping schedule, I've noticed that he's lost some weight. This popped up at the doctor's office earlier last month. We took him in because we were worried about some mood swings and irritability, alongside his insomnia, that he was having. His vitals seemed alright, aside from an elevated heart rate.

What should I do? Should I take him to a therapist to get evaluated?

[Anonymous]

That’s enough red flags that you should search his room thoroughly for any drug paraphernalia. Does he have access to any prescription medication that he should not have? I truly hope that’s not what’s going on but these behaviors are very worrisome. But at the very least he needs to be in class every day or have serious consequences at home. You can check your router for any unknown device devices connecting to your network. Do you require he keeps his phone in your bedroom at night time? If not you should start.

[Anonymous]

You need to drug test him. If that is clean, take him to a therapist screen for anxiety/depression or a mix of both. He could be self-medicating due to some mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Where does he say he is when he’s not at class?

[Anonymous]

Oh no!!!

[Anonymous]

What did the ped say abt his symptoms? Also, does your son acknowledge he’s not himself or is it more sullen “don’t worry abt it, mom” type of reaction? Does he still interact normally with you guys some of the time-like laugh at a favorite show or want to watch basketball with dad or whatever?

Things that come to mind as possible are run of the mill teenage angst, more serious mood issue/depression, some social problem at school could be stressing him out, could be he’s gotten himself into a jam online-like gaming at all hours or communicating with a girlfriend, real or catfish.

The other thing to consider is weed use-is he having insomnia and then vaping in the basement to deal with that or something.

I hope it’s nothing major and just regular teen moodiness. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s enough red flags that you should search his room thoroughly for any drug paraphernalia. Does he have access to any prescription medication that he should not have? I truly hope that’s not what’s going on but these behaviors are very worrisome. But at the very least he needs to be in class every day or have serious consequences at home. You can check your router for any unknown device devices connecting to your network. Do you require he keeps his phone in your bedroom at night time? If not you should start.

I will search his room tomorrow when he is at his lacrosse practice. I am also ordering a drug test for him to take if this continues. He is not on any prescription drugs. I take anti-depressants (bupropion) but I keep them locked away in my room.

When I have spoken to him about his absences, he becomes cagey, and says that he is in school and his teachers are marking him absent. However, I know I need to lay the law down. I will be discussing this with DH when he gets home.

He keeps his phone in his room at night.

[Anonymous]

Drug test

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s enough red flags that you should search his room thoroughly for any drug paraphernalia. Does he have access to any prescription medication that he should not have? I truly hope that’s not what’s going on but these behaviors are very worrisome. But at the very least he needs to be in class every day or have serious consequences at home. You can check your router for any unknown device devices connecting to your network. Do you require he keeps his phone in your bedroom at night time? If not you should start.

I will search his room tomorrow when he is at his lacrosse practice. I am also ordering a drug test for him to take if this continues. He is not on any prescription drugs. I take anti-depressants (bupropion) but I keep them locked away in my room.

When I have spoken to him about his absences, he becomes cagey, and says that he is in school and his teachers are marking him absent. However, I know I need to lay the law down. I will be discussing this with DH when he gets home.

He keeps his phone in his room at night.

Oh gosh. I am a teacher and I had a student pull this with his mom. I kept calling home and leaving messages, and he kept telling her that he was in class and I was just inexplicably not seeing him and then taking time to call home. Yeah, no, no teacher is going to make that mistake.

Maybe you can say, "I've asked the school to call me immediately the next time you are absent from a class. I'll come down to school and pull you out of class, and then we can talk to the principal about why your teachers keep making this mistake."

Good luck, OP. He's starting to fall through the cracks and you need to catch him.

[Anonymous]

This can't be a real post. Right? You can't be this out to lunch OP.

Go through the phone immediately. Keep in mind if he's on snapchat you're missing a lot.

No access to the phone at night. Plug it in next to your own bed.

When you hear him up walking around, get up and see what's going on.

And if teachers are taking time to email you when they have 100+ students to keep track of, many alarm bells should be going off.

[Anonymous]

https://medium.com/@thekatieallison/parenting-an-addicted-teen-what-i-wish-id-known-4f600e3be213

Have someone very skillful come over and check your IT data and it may reveal something.

If you can air tag him, that would shed some light on the absence thing.

[Anonymous]

Phone in room at night..teens stay up and have silent text exchanges or watch YouTube andTikTok for hours.

I stay up really late regularly. It's a bit odd, I admit that. But I don't have trouble falling asleep. So I'm not an insomniac. I was the same way in my teens but society did not facilitate me doing so...no computer, no headphone jack on t.v., no silent way to have a conversation.

People who are ND can have different sleep habits. Don't go straight to drugs as the reason.

[Anonymous]

For sure he's doing drugs. You must know this yes?

I also question if this is real the examples of behavior and then weight loss are so ridiculously obvious and textbook. You need to crowd source this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Phone in room at night..teens stay up and have silent text exchanges or watch YouTube andTikTok for hours.

I stay up really late regularly. It's a bit odd, I admit that. But I don't have trouble falling asleep. So I'm not an insomniac. I was the same way in my teens but society did not facilitate me doing so...no computer, no headphone jack on t.v., no silent way to have a conversation.

People who are ND can have different sleep habits. Don't go straight to drugs as the reason.

What teenage boy loses weight ever and why isn't he in class?

[Anonymous]

Have him evaluated by a doctor..
Also, you and your spouse should have a conversation with him..

Ask him what's going on.