At What Age Should Children Be Introduced to Books with Transgender Characters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD age 11, has access to trans character books in her school library, but has had zero interest in them. So, we use her interests to gauge the topic. She will start middle school next year...might come up then. Who knows. One of her ES friends is a boy who cross dresses (and has for many years) and now has confused sexual identity. I think she is just to too young to really want to know more about the topic despite being exposed to it often.

+1
All this with controlling books in libraries is strange. My kids have always gravitated toward books of interest and I will never limit them. That said this topic has literally held zero attention for them. They have a gay uncle who is married, so the issue is quite natural to them. I think we explained this marriage when they were about 4 when they asked why he doesn't have kids, since they wanted more cousins. We also explained adoption, fostering, IVF, etc at that time. It wasn't a conversation about LGBTQ+ as much as how can someone have kids when the natural way isn't an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a topic that should be discussed whenever it naturally arises, not avoided until some preordained time. That way it’s normalized.

^This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a topic that should be discussed whenever it naturally arises, not avoided until some preordained time. That way it’s normalized.

^This.

And not forced either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One book called “Dotson” is excellent for all ages. It’s written by Grayson Lee White who wrote about his feeling like a boy but was born a girl as long as he can remember. He describes telling his classmates, his doctor’s appointments, the whole process in a simple way for children to understand.

Does the book explain what it means to feel like a boy? Is it because he likes dolls and dresses? I can’t wrap my mind around what this means outside of how society defines what boys are and what girls are. My niece just announced she is a boy and I am struggling with it. She loved dresses, doing her nails, and had crushes on boys. She went through puberty very young and developed quite a bit and this is when she started drsssing with oversized clothes and doing what she could to stop the sudden attention she was getting. I was the same way. Being trans wasn’t even known back then so I just grew up a tomboy. Could it be just a discomfort around her body and the option to be labeled a boy to avoid what is happening to her? I really want to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that books asking young kids to explicitly explore their own identity would give me pause, as I think that can be confusing for some kids. I haven’t encountered many books like that though.

It's called pride puppy and it is recommended reading in moco for 4 year olds. Sounds false but actually true. You can watch on youtube kids a bearded man reading this story to your four year old if you want.

[Anonymous]

Characters are either boys or girls. If the character used to be a different gender, that seems irrelevant to children’s stories, so I’m not sure what you mean by trans characters. If you mean when you do you read your child stories about other children doing gender transitions, I would say never.

I’ve read some of these books geared for children and I just don’t agree with how the topic is presented and explained. If the topic came up because a child in class transitioned, we’d talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One book called “Dotson” is excellent for all ages. It’s written by Grayson Lee White who wrote about his feeling like a boy but was born a girl as long as he can remember. He describes telling his classmates, his doctor’s appointments, the whole process in a simple way for children to understand.

Does the book explain what it means to feel like a boy? Is it because he likes dolls and dresses? I can’t wrap my mind around what this means outside of how society defines what boys are and what girls are. My niece just announced she is a boy and I am struggling with it. She loved dresses, doing her nails, and had crushes on boys. She went through puberty very young and developed quite a bit and this is when she started drsssing with oversized clothes and doing what she could to stop the sudden attention she was getting. I was the same way. Being trans wasn’t even known back then so I just grew up a tomboy. Could it be just a discomfort around her body and the option to be labeled a boy to avoid what is happening to her? I really want to understand.

It's not a kids book but I highly recommend PageBoy by Elliot Page, I think he doesn't really good job of explaining gender dysphoria as a very visceral feeling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One book called “Dotson” is excellent for all ages. It’s written by Grayson Lee White who wrote about his feeling like a boy but was born a girl as long as he can remember. He describes telling his classmates, his doctor’s appointments, the whole process in a simple way for children to understand.

Does the book explain what it means to feel like a boy? Is it because he likes dolls and dresses? I can’t wrap my mind around what this means outside of how society defines what boys are and what girls are. My niece just announced she is a boy and I am struggling with it. She loved dresses, doing her nails, and had crushes on boys. She went through puberty very young and developed quite a bit and this is when she started drsssing with oversized clothes and doing what she could to stop the sudden attention she was getting. I was the same way. Being trans wasn’t even known back then so I just grew up a tomboy. Could it be just a discomfort around her body and the option to be labeled a boy to avoid what is happening to her? I really want to understand.

That’s because only boys know what it feels like to be a boy. Girls never can. Your intuition on this is right. I cannot wait to see how this ridiculous era is treated in history 200 years from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a liberal Catholic and a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.

I attended a Catholic school and was introduced to LGBTQ+ topics in college.

I want my children to be more inclusive, but I wonder at what age it is appropriate to introduce books featuring transgender characters.

I originally thought 6th grade was the right time, but I’ve noticed that many schools begin as early as 1st grade.

Am I wrong to think that 12 years old is the right age to discuss this topic?

What are your thoughts?

My thought is you are trolling.

[Anonymous]

I took my six-year-old child to a drag performance. She's twenty now and survived.

One of the queens was an elementary school teacher and so, so sweet to my child. My child was riveted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One book called “Dotson” is excellent for all ages. It’s written by Grayson Lee White who wrote about his feeling like a boy but was born a girl as long as he can remember. He describes telling his classmates, his doctor’s appointments, the whole process in a simple way for children to understand.

Does the book explain what it means to feel like a boy? Is it because he likes dolls and dresses? I can’t wrap my mind around what this means outside of how society defines what boys are and what girls are. My niece just announced she is a boy and I am struggling with it. She loved dresses, doing her nails, and had crushes on boys. She went through puberty very young and developed quite a bit and this is when she started drsssing with oversized clothes and doing what she could to stop the sudden attention she was getting. I was the same way. Being trans wasn’t even known back then so I just grew up a tomboy. Could it be just a discomfort around her body and the option to be labeled a boy to avoid what is happening to her? I really want to understand.

I don’t think that anyone except the people who go through it can understand it too well. He did an excellent job explaining his experiences in a matter of fact way. It’s a mystery to many of us but I do believe that people can be born into a body with the wrong identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took my six-year-old child to a drag performance. She's twenty now and survived.

One of the queens was an elementary school teacher and so, so sweet to my child. My child was riveted.

I’m convinced that people who oppose drag story times have never cared for little kids.
Drag characters are PERFECT for story time but honestly any level of theatricality and costuming is greatly appreciated. So many story times are terrible! And preschool children LOVE physical gags.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s critical that you introduce your child to trans characters in stories. If my child was questioning his/her gender I would consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a liberal Catholic and a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.

I attended a Catholic school and was introduced to LGBTQ+ topics in college.

I want my children to be more inclusive, but I wonder at what age it is appropriate to introduce books featuring transgender characters.

I originally thought 6th grade was the right time, but I’ve noticed that many schools begin as early as 1st grade.

Am I wrong to think that 12 years old is the right age to discuss this topic?

What are your thoughts?

I am also a liberal Catholic. Many kids in public school will have a trans or nonbinary classmates at some point in ES. They won’t notice or won’t care because they are too young to have the hangups that older kids and adults do.

Most trans characters in kids’ books are trans kids who are just being themselves. No reason why this wouldn’t be okay in first grade.

[Anonymous]

Never