At What Age Should Children Be Introduced to Books with Transgender Characters?

[Anonymous]

I am a liberal Catholic and a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.

I attended a Catholic school and was introduced to LGBTQ+ topics in college.

I want my children to be more inclusive, but I wonder at what age it is appropriate to introduce books featuring transgender characters.

I originally thought 6th grade was the right time, but I’ve noticed that many schools begin as early as 1st grade.

Am I wrong to think that 12 years old is the right age to discuss this topic?

What are your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

It is appropriate when your kid is curious or there is an age appropriate book in classic literature that features this - like if one of the Harry Potter characters were LGBTQ+, I'd give it as an option just as I do now in 3rd grade. I can't think of any of these books offhand though- Roald Dahl, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Dog Man, etc etc- all cis kids. Eventually there will be classic literature featuring this. I know I'm using the term classic liberally - I mean it as in the books all the kids are reading that are quite good.

[Anonymous]

Many of us have trans family members, so we had to explain to our young children their identities. We did so in a way that made sense to a child, and our DC had no problem understanding and accepting it. The reality is that children will meet trans people and they need some framework to understand their identity.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a topic that should be discussed whenever it naturally arises, not avoided until some preordained time. That way it’s normalized.

[Anonymous]

This is like asking “when is it appropriate to give a kid a book about dragonflies?”

Whenever an age appropriate book about dragonflies crosses his path or catches his interest. Doesn’t matter if that’s age 3 or age 12.

[Anonymous]

DD age 11, has access to trans character books in her school library, but has had zero interest in them. So, we use her interests to gauge the topic. She will start middle school next year...might come up then. Who knows. One of her ES friends is a boy who cross dresses (and has for many years) and now has confused sexual identity. I think she is just to too young to really want to know more about the topic despite being exposed to it often.

[Anonymous]

At any age. My child had a trans prek teacher who was so wonderful and the topic was not difficult for her to understand or engage with.

[Anonymous]

Many graphic novels have characters who are trans/non-binary/questioning. I'm sure my dd (who has basically read all the graphic novels in the children's section of the library) had read 20+ titles (in addition to series like Lumberjanes, which has 20+ volumes) with trans/non binary characters before she graduated 5th grade. Your kid may already be reading these things.

I first talked to her about gender identity when she asked about a form at the doctor's office asking about pronouns. She was totally unfazed. She was maybe 10-11. My younger kids were also there. It was really nbd. We are not particularly progressive and sent our kids to private Christian school during the pandemic, but unless you are in a super-progressive milieu, I think any thoughts of "social contagion" re gender identity are way overblown. (And if that is not your concern, what is the hesitation?) It is just a fact that people exist that don't feel like they fit into certain categories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is like asking “when is it appropriate to give a kid a book about dragonflies?”

Whenever an age appropriate book about dragonflies crosses his path or catches his interest. Doesn’t matter if that’s age 3 or age 12.

+1

Why 12? Is OP afraid their child will be "influenced" by learning about trans people at a young age? Also bizarre that there are no dicussions about this topic before 12. Trans people exist everywhere. And let me tell you OP, no one wants to be different on purpose. Humans just want to exist and be loved as who they are.

[Anonymous]

My DD read the book “ The Princess Boy” when she was about 4 ( we read it to her)
If it’s just part of conversation it won’t be a big deal.
She has 2 trans friends now, ones she’s known since pre k. They’re both now tweens. It’s not the big deal conservatives make it out to be.

[Anonymous]

There was a child who was trans is our elementary school. They knew the child before they transitioned, so the topic came up naturally. It was surprising how simple and matter-of-fact the discussion was.

[Anonymous]

Definitely NOT before age 6. Probably around age 12-14 and then only as a passing fringe concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a child who was trans is our elementary school. They knew the child before they transitioned, so the topic came up naturally. It was surprising how simple and matter-of-fact the discussion was.

This is our experience as well. Its a not a big deal for the kids.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I’ve ever read a book with a transgender character, and I’m pretty well-read and 39.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in age restricting this stuff because it can imply it's bad or wrong or weird. If you have a transgendered person in your family or friend group, you'd surely be normalizing and centering this identity before 12. By 12, kids have learned to call things "weird" or "not normal." Feel way too late to create an authentically inclusive kid.

I would focus on a library that is inclusive and normalizes all identities from birth and just make it part of their world. This is my personal philosophy.