What "mean" things do you say to your pets?

[Anonymous]

My cat is too busy guarding our picture window from falling leaves and terrorist birds. She doesn't listen to my insults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I am working at home and typing in our team Slack channel, my A-hole cat jumps up and plops down on the keyboard causing the message to come out scrambled like the mad ravings of a lunatic, I let her know what an A-hole she is. But instead of moving she'll just sit there and stare at me like, "what's your problem?" Meanness doesn't seem to work.

My cat does this too. I get up to go get coffee and when I come back he's sitting on my laptop keyboard. Then when I try to move him he bites me.

[Anonymous]

We say B.A.D to our dog - it either means bad ass dog or begin ass dog, whichever is appropriate at the moment. When my dog is workin' my nerves and barking like a madman, I say, very gently under my breath - shut the fukk up.

[Anonymous]

^^ typo should be begging ass dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very mean to our puppy. Honestly, I HATE it. I like him less now. He'll say things like, "Nobody likes you" and "get away from me, stupid" or call him a "piece of sh*t."

It's like...having a non-human for him to be nasty to in the house has opened the floodgates on this gushing river of nastiness inside him.

FWIW, he takes pretty good care of the dog and for the most part - other than the verbal abuse - he shows love for the dog. Gives him treats and scratches. It's just...when he's in a bad mood, he just treats the dog like sh*t. Not because the dog pooped in the house or was being annoying...just as a way to vent.

He thinks I'm nuts to be bothered by this since the dog doesn't understand. Bottom line for me, though, is I don't want to live around a person who talks like this all the time. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it directed at someone I love, either. And even if he can't understand it all, he does understand tone. And it's *mean*. Like, you could stay "c'mere, you fluffy little sh*thead" in a cute and officiate way and the dog would think he's getting crowned. But this is a nasty tone.

Not what the thread is about. Reported. Start your own thread about your bad taste in men.

Reported? Really? You need to log off and take a walk. That's unhinged.

Agree reporting that is unhinged. And it is exactly what the thread is about. OP asked about saying mean things to pets. PP's husband says mean things to their dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes call my dog Farty McPoopoo.

He doesn’t care what I say to him, but he thinks I’m incredibly mean to him because I will only feed him two meals of kibble per day, the cheese tax, a few measly pieces of meat, fruit or vegetables, the occasional dog treat, a once weekly pup cup, a nightly Dentastix, special treats on holidays, a dog safe homemade cake for his gotcha day, and a smorgasbord for his birthday, featuring steak. Nothing, really. Poor boy is peckish all the time.

Maybe you missed the last assessment but at least in Virginia, the cheese tax has gone waaaay up. So maybe you are unknowingly shorting him??? My dog made sure to bring my attention to the changes.

Also, you need to pay the cheese tax every time you go in the kitchen--not just when you are actually using or cooking with cheese yourself. Your dog can thank my dog for the clarifications.

[Anonymous]

I tell her that she is a fat little dog and can't have treats because the vet said she's too fat. She says I'm mean and stomps her paws at me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes call my dog Farty McPoopoo.

He doesn’t care what I say to him, but he thinks I’m incredibly mean to him because I will only feed him two meals of kibble per day, the cheese tax, a few measly pieces of meat, fruit or vegetables, the occasional dog treat, a once weekly pup cup, a nightly Dentastix, special treats on holidays, a dog safe homemade cake for his gotcha day, and a smorgasbord for his birthday, featuring steak. Nothing, really. Poor boy is peckish all the time.

Maybe you missed the last assessment but at least in Virginia, the cheese tax has gone waaaay up. So maybe you are unknowingly shorting him??? My dog made sure to bring my attention to the changes.

Also, you need to pay the cheese tax every time you go in the kitchen--not just when you are actually using or cooking with cheese yourself. Your dog can thank my dog for the clarifications.

We live in MD…I’d better make sure I’m tax compliant. I don’t want my dog’s lawyer to get involved. He’s a real pit bull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes call my dog Farty McPoopoo.

He doesn’t care what I say to him, but he thinks I’m incredibly mean to him because I will only feed him two meals of kibble per day, the cheese tax, a few measly pieces of meat, fruit or vegetables, the occasional dog treat, a once weekly pup cup, a nightly Dentastix, special treats on holidays, a dog safe homemade cake for his gotcha day, and a smorgasbord for his birthday, featuring steak. Nothing, really. Poor boy is peckish all the time.

Maybe you missed the last assessment but at least in Virginia, the cheese tax has gone waaaay up. So maybe you are unknowingly shorting him??? My dog made sure to bring my attention to the changes.

Also, you need to pay the cheese tax every time you go in the kitchen--not just when you are actually using or cooking with cheese yourself. Your dog can thank my dog for the clarifications.

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