What "mean" things do you say to your pets?

[Anonymous]

I tell my pugs they’re fat, and call them my stinky little a$$holes (and precious little angels.)

[Anonymous]

I mention how nice it is to have thumbs. Casually, as though we both do, and then I say, "Oh, right, you don't have thumbs. Is that why you can't open snacks? Gosh, I guess it's lucky you're probably not hungry anyway."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes call my dog Farty McPoopoo.

He doesn’t care what I say to him, but he thinks I’m incredibly mean to him because I will only feed him two meals of kibble per day, the cheese tax, a few measly pieces of meat, fruit or vegetables, the occasional dog treat, a once weekly pup cup, a nightly Dentastix, special treats on holidays, a dog safe homemade cake for his gotcha day, and a smorgasbord for his birthday, featuring steak. Nothing, really. Poor boy is peckish all the time.

Can he even hear you, or has he fainted from hunger, poor guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mention how nice it is to have thumbs. Casually, as though we both do, and then I say, "Oh, right, you don't have thumbs. Is that why you can't open snacks? Gosh, I guess it's lucky you're probably not hungry anyway."

My husband also flaunts his opposable thumbs to our pets.

[Anonymous]

This is my favorite dcum post 🥰 🐾

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my pugs they’re fat, and call them my stinky little a$$holes (and precious little angels.)

And just how do you know this ?

[Anonymous]

I tell them that I am their servant only 23 hours per day and that I need an hour for myself (but then I relent and apologize).

[Anonymous]

When she goes wild at the worst times I tell her that she is an embarrassment to herself and her family.

[Anonymous]

I tell her she is a misshapen little turd muncher.

[Anonymous]

I chide my dog for being so boring and NOT doing cute things like the pets on the internet. So boring! Why can't I have one of those cute trick dogs? why?

[Anonymous]

I call my dog Mr. Grumpy Pants because he doesn't like other dogs. And when I have to bait him past other dogs on walks I tell him that he's going to gain weight and turn into a ball of lard. Who will be lovely to cuddle....

[Anonymous]

My cousin's husband will say to the dog "do you want to go to the pound, you want to go to the pound?" in the sweetest, high-pitched, sing songy voice. The dog jumps up and down he is so excited. It's actually quite hysterical to watch. FWIW, he loves the dog dearly - it's just funny.

[Anonymous]

My dogs an angel so when she rarely does something naughty, I tell her I love her a little less.

[Anonymous]

"If you wake me up at 4:30 again, I'm taking you back to the shelter." I absolutely will not do that, but my cat can be a real a-hole.

[Anonymous]

I tell her she’s going to have to work while I take naps all day. I tell her to get her paws ready for some typing, then wash the dishes.

She responds that she does plenty of work barking at the sounds outside the house and licking up crumbs on the floor.

So we usually end up at a stalemate and then snuggle.