Anyone transition from big pay/big house/big expense to a low cost, simple, yet fulfilling retirement life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents kept their house bc we all go there at Christmas. It’s great, but honestly a bit silly - we could all meet up literally anywhere, so it doesn’t make sense to keep a house for 52 weeks because it comes in handy for 1.

I have already told my kids this. I am 47 and they are 10 and 13. I told them I am not maintaining a large house in my late 50s or beyond in case they come home for Christmas. I will be getting a townhouse. If it is not big enough, we can rent a large house for a week for Christmas and in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We kind of did this when we had kids: downsized our lifestyle to a much more simple one we could pay for with one full time income. It took some effort but it was completely worth it.

The challenge we've had are the head scratches we see when people hear only one of us works full time. Especially in this area, people have no idea what to talk to you about when you don't work at a job. I own a small business that brings in some money, so i have an occupation but not a job.

We never upsized our house so I suppose we'll never have to downsize? I plan on buying a second home for the family when I inherit. I love gardening and am thinking it might be nice to have more land, though I don't want to be too isolated. So, we'll see.

There's a tremendous amount of freedom in spending less. Try it now and see how it feels for you.

+1

Same. We have a small house and chose time freedom over long hours / high stress.

We don’t need a lot of stuff, so this worked out well for us.

[Anonymous]

It's in part a financial question. If you have the financial capacity and resources, there's no special reason to downsize in retirement "just because". When I retired i upsized considerably, because I could afford to and wanted features and attributes in a home which I had not previously had. My new home is also better suited for aging in place, with an elevator, large garage with room for a future ramp if needed, space for live-in help if ever desired, etc.

Life isn't more or less fulfilling depending on home size. It's a function of having the ability to do the things you want to do, and to live as you like.

[Anonymous]

IME, "big expense" parents have a very hard time taking a step back. They don't sell the big house; they rationalize that they need to keep the space to house everyone over the holidays. They build a big expensive 2nd home in retirement. They pay for big weddings. They contribute to down payments for first homes.

Very few "big expense" families take a step back. It's not in their nature.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't it feel right to have a fancier house at age 55/60 than your kids who are 20-30?

We are 65 - 70. They are 35 - 40. We shouldn't be living in the bigger house in the nicer suburb, in the best school district, and the short commute. This is what they need. We should switch places. All the things we have, we don't need and they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents kept their house bc we all go there at Christmas. It’s great, but honestly a bit silly - we could all meet up literally anywhere, so it doesn’t make sense to keep a house for 52 weeks because it comes in handy for 1.

I have already told my kids this. I am 47 and they are 10 and 13. I told them I am not maintaining a large house in my late 50s or beyond in case they come home for Christmas. I will be getting a townhouse. If it is not big enough, we can rent a large house for a week for Christmas and in the summer.

Yes! We downsized to a 2bed/2bath condo once youngest went to college. When kids are "home" we rent a larger place for a week or we rent the guest suite in our condo bldg. Much easier to rent a big home for only the time you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's in part a financial question. If you have the financial capacity and resources, there's no special reason to downsize in retirement "just because". When I retired i upsized considerably, because I could afford to and wanted features and attributes in a home which I had not previously had. My new home is also better suited for aging in place, with an elevator, large garage with room for a future ramp if needed, space for live-in help if ever desired, etc.

Life isn't more or less fulfilling depending on home size. It's a function of having the ability to do the things you want to do, and to live as you like.

THis^^

Although we downsized to a condo, and enjoy not having any outside work at all. No shoveling, no landscaping/yard care, no roof or siding maintenance, etc. Care free living at its finest.

[Anonymous]

Soon they will have their own kids and want to create their own traditions and holidays. Have you over to their house. Older women, don't stubbornly stay in-charge of the holidays - it's not your place, any longer.
np here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IME, "big expense" parents have a very hard time taking a step back. They don't sell the big house; they rationalize that they need to keep the space to house everyone over the holidays. They build a big expensive 2nd home in retirement. They pay for big weddings. They contribute to down payments for first homes.

Very few "big expense" families take a step back. It's not in their nature.

Yep. This is us. We are a "big expense" household. I am burned out but having a hard time letting it go. We may retire to a different area in 4 years. I feel like having a fresh start will be good for us. Plus, we'll be closer to family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents kept their house bc we all go there at Christmas. It’s great, but honestly a bit silly - we could all meet up literally anywhere, so it doesn’t make sense to keep a house for 52 weeks because it comes in handy for 1.

I have already told my kids this. I am 47 and they are 10 and 13. I told them I am not maintaining a large house in my late 50s or beyond in case they come home for Christmas. I will be getting a townhouse. If it is not big enough, we can rent a large house for a week for Christmas and in the summer.

Perfect plan! In your late 50s/60s, who wants to maintain a larger home for the 2-3 weeks per year it might get used.
For us, one kid is fully launched, lives 2K miles from us. The other has a 1.5 years left in college, might end up near us (50/50) or on the other coast. Either way, won't need to live at home. It's cheaper to help with apartment rent (if needed near us) than maintain a 5 bedroom home for 2 of us and possibly the youngest kid.

Downsizing is freeing, you learn to get rid of crap, not buy as much crap either. Life is more about experiences, not "things"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why wouldn't it feel right to have a fancier house at age 55/60 than your kids who are 20-30?

We are 65 - 70. They are 35 - 40. We shouldn't be living in the bigger house in the nicer suburb, in the best school district, and the short commute. This is what they need. We should switch places. All the things we have, we don't need and they do.

So gift them the house if you really want. But you are also free to sell it, move to smaller place (not in the best suburb with best schools). We did that. We loved where we lived, but wanted to live in a city finally (cannot do that without private schools when kids are K-12), so downsized to a condo and never looked back.

By 35-40, they should be well on the path to achieving that if they want. And part of way to get there is at 25, not living in a fancy suburb in best house with best schools (unless they have a kid K+)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon they will have their own kids and want to create their own traditions and holidays. Have you over to their house. Older women, don't stubbornly stay in-charge of the holidays - it's not your place, any longer.
np here.

Who wants to be in charge of hosting large gatherings in your late 50s/60s? I'd happily travel to my kids once they have partners and a home. And relax and enjoy the festivities (and help out as needed/requested)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before we retired we sold our single family home in the city and bought 2 condos, one at the beach and one in the city. Makes it very easy to close the door and walk away. HOA takes care of everything, packages, gardens, pool, security, maintenance.

Our life is so streamlined now, we don't really need a car as we can walk everywhere. One of our kids returned after college and we have plenty of room. We may just lend them $ to purchase something, we made plenty of money sending our house and downsizing.

Do you like condo living? This sounds appealing on many ways but I’m leery of condos - the condo board politics, close quarters with neighbors, noise issues from other units…I know it might all be fine but I wonder if there would be aggravation.

Where are your condos - DC and OC - or a different beach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon they will have their own kids and want to create their own traditions and holidays. Have you over to their house. Older women, don't stubbornly stay in-charge of the holidays - it's not your place, any longer.
np here.

I personally don't agree. I wish my in-laws were in charge! It's not fun having to host while working FT and with kids in the house. We host all holidays in the US because in-laws are unwilling and also moved to a 1 bedroom. Meanwhile, I LOVE going to my parents big house in the country every summer, and my mom being in charge (though of course we help her!). She loves a full house, entertaining, and has all the time in the world. It's relaxing and reminds me of being young.

[Anonymous]

Part of way to get there is at 25, not living in a fancy suburb in best house with best schools (unless they have a kid K+) -- of course not