Why are women leaders so terrible to other women

[Anonymous]

Employees male and female react very differently to a woman providing critical feedback than a man. They will accept a man yelling, throwing a fit, being harsh etc and consider him a strong leader. The same employee will crumble, be offended and hate a female supervisor who is not gentle with her criticism. It’s a sub conscious reaction and a PITA.

[Anonymous]

All my best bosses have been women.

[Anonymous]

Insecurity.

My worst bosses have been women, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are used to "girl dynamics" from school years. Everyone is an enemy because the gossip and behind the scenes power stealing is alive and real (and you don't know which woman it is so you have to assume everyone is complicit). For men, they still do this but it is more direct and obvious. They only need to worry about the threat in front of them and not the ones behind the scenes.

Sadly, this is really accurate. I've still had just as many sexist, mansplaining, demeaning male bosses, but there is something especially nefarious about the way female bosses handle perceived threats. I did have one amazing female boss, who even prevented the usual bullying and gossiping by other female colleagues, but she was the exception and not the rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insecurity.

My worst bosses have been women, sadly.

+1

One would only hire “loyal” can’t-get-any-other job offer types and also push out smart, talented women.

Other was weak and passive, played to not lose her job and drove out the smart talented people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jealousy? Power plays? A-types?

Why??

they have been trained since young women to use the p'ssy as currency for transactions to their benefit.

now they are interacting with other women doing the same thing and it decreases the value of the p'ssy. so they get angry and vindictive.

it is basic instinct.

fact of life.

I'm not sure if it's already been said, but I have a different take. Some women find it challenging to have a female boss because they can't play the woman like they could a man. This was my experience last fall with a young woman who was accustomed to using her looks/cutesy/giggly behavior to get her way with men. She immediately disliked working for me. Using sexuality to advance your agenda doesn't work on (straight) women, so it forces the employee to find other tactics like working hard, for example.

There are also female bosses who do this with male co-workers and subordinates, and those female bosses are terrible to women. I know because I worked for a woman who laughed and giggled for men and treated women like crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you. I (female) have been working in Defense for 35 years and every single time I get a female boss she is terrible. Terrible to all, worse to women, but terrible to all.

I have been on a couple interviews for positions I have turned down when I find out the boss is female. I don't know why this is.

Interesting. I have also been in Defense for 30+ years. I have had great female bosses and some not great ones. I have had multiple women and men ask to keep working for me when I change positions/companies, and some who would probably run me over if they saw me in a crosswalk. You can't make everyone happy all of the time, and not every one is a good fit for everyone else, whether it's a boss/employee or romantic relationship

[Anonymous]

Based on my experience, it depends on who she is surrounded by. If she's the only woman in the c-suite surrounded by men and feeling insecure, she'll pick on a lower-level woman to show the guys how tough she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve wondered this myself. My male managers have always been a lot more easygoing than my female ones who tend to be more unsympathetic and prone to micromanagement. Of course, this could very well just be specific to my experience.

Female managers are held to a higher standard and cannot afford to be easygoing. They only got the job by being more intense than the male competition, and virtually error free.

Yep mediocre males get promoted. Mediocre females, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, can we trot out a few more stereotypes? We're missing "hysterical."

There are many female bosses horrible to female employees...just as there are many male bosses who are horrible to female employees. We all have different experiences.

In my cases, two of my best bosses were female, and two of my worst were male.

Same. There's a lot of confirmation bias going on around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, can we trot out a few more stereotypes? We're missing "hysterical."

There are many female bosses horrible to female employees...just as there are many male bosses who are horrible to female employees. We all have different experiences.

In my cases, two of my best bosses were female, and two of my worst were male.

Same. There's a lot of confirmation bias going on around here.

I agree that many male bosses are horrible but that's not the topic,

I am not sure why anyone needs to discount those of us who have had horrible experiences with a woman boss. I have worked for some good female bases but the worst boss I ever had was a woman who treated men well and crapped on women. She was a miserable jerk. She acted like ahe desperately needed the approval of men. She was gross and should not have been a supervisor. It actually happened, is not bias or prejjersey. and ,I have no problem judging her as a result.

[Anonymous]

Should say is not bias or prejudice

[Anonymous]

I always assumed it was because, by the time we’re old enough to be hitting positions of real power, we’re also old enough to be hitting peri/menopause. Nothing like completely exhausting your oxytocin supply to leave your field fallow of f—ks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve wondered this myself. My male managers have always been a lot more easygoing than my female ones who tend to be more unsympathetic and prone to micromanagement. Of course, this could very well just be specific to my experience.

Female managers are held to a higher standard and cannot afford to be easygoing. They only got the job by being more intense than the male competition, and virtually error free.

Yep mediocre males get promoted. Mediocre females, not so much.

Completely false these days. Maybe back in the 1970s, but it's opposite now.

[Anonymous]

There are many fewer terrible women leaders today than years ago. Over the last 30 years female team sports have played a big role in women understanding how a team functions. When that gets established at an early age it has lifetime benefits. There will always be terrible leaders both women and men.