Disinvite ds friend?

[Anonymous]

I’d let your son handle it.

But also, Discord is full of trash. I cannot understand why any parent would allow their kid to be subjected to that toxic brain rot environment. He needs to find another way to spend his free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 8th grade you can still call the other mom. Say you aren’t comfortable with this, would like him to sit out this gathering, and would like her or his dad to have a discussion with him so it doesn’t impact his relationships going forward. He needs a wake up call.

Are you insane? No parent would be grateful for this call about another parent giving their kid a time out.

[Anonymous]

Your son tells the boy "Sorry but you can come to my house anymore"

If you have the kids parent info, simply say that he can't come over. I wouldn't get into the details.

It's your house and if you don't want him there then he shouldn't be there.

Also, people saying the racist boy should still come to your house are crazy. It's YOUR house!

[Anonymous]

Pp sorry "can't come"*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son tells the boy "Sorry but you can come to my house anymore"

If you have the kids parent info, simply say that he can't come over. I wouldn't get into the details.

It's your house and if you don't want him there then he shouldn't be there.

Also, people saying the racist boy should still come to your house are crazy. It's YOUR house!

I agree with this in general but these are not simple circumstances. It's okay not to invite in the first place (as long as it's not the whole friend group excluding one kid) but it's not okay to disinvite. Especially before THE major kid holiday of the year. Monstrous, evil - would agree with this sentiment. In the future just don't invite, don't host that friend group. You seem to have a narrow view of a "good" or "bad" kid. I will tell you that will change over time and for all you know your child is saying these things in a discord chat you're not reading. Be careful when you judge.

[Anonymous]

Don’t disinvite but if there is an issue call the parents and send him home. Don’t invite again. Heavily monitor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son tells the boy "Sorry but you can come to my house anymore"

If you have the kids parent info, simply say that he can't come over. I wouldn't get into the details.

It's your house and if you don't want him there then he shouldn't be there.

Also, people saying the racist boy should still come to your house are crazy. It's YOUR house!

I’m not at all convinced there is a “racist boy” in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does this part have anything to do with it? "We live in a rural area that is not very diverse and one of the boys in the group is Asian"

You don't sound like a nice person OP. You do not disinvite kids at this vulnerable age or ever unless they have done something horrible. You just can't do that without possibly sending them into a terrible depression. It's cruel and something they would carry forever.

You can advise your child to distance himself from this friend later.

Kids this age are pushing boundaries. I cannot tell you how many "nice" kids I knew threw out racial slurs during this age. It's never okay to do that but it's also something they need to learn.

Be the adult. Think like an adult. Show some kindness.

NO.

NP here. I’m TIRED of selfish parents, often UMC/striving white parents, deciding that ‘the community’ has to tolerate cruelty to one child so another can ‘grow.’

OP - you are kind. PP up there is rotten. Have DS disinvite the kid and block him from chat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am breaking from the majority and saying you must end this friendship, not because of the racist remarks but the threat to hurt himself over a video game.

You don't want that in your kid's life.

Fine. But do it after this party. Clearly the kid has problems. OP shouldn't exacerbate them right now with a disinvite.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the kid's problem is that he is a minority growing up in a rural, non-diverse area. Who knows what sort of verbal abuse he has gotten over the years. Moreover, he might not be thinking of the fact that OP is Asian, as well, but trying to "fit in" with the kids who in general are making fun of minorities. And the one mom who might understand to some degree is the mom trying to kick him out of the group.

Be better, OP.

[Anonymous]

If you disinvite from something as big (at least in our world) as halloween, your kid is going to bear the brunt of it.

I'd probably invite him, hover a bit, and at the first notion of inappropriate behavior, call him out on it.

This would also see to put your kid in the center of things. But in my opinion, is less disruptive than leaving the kid out entirely.