Stop using the word bespoke in corporate lingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss always wants to "socialize" a potential plan to gather feedback.

My 6th grader uses this when he is putting together a hangout session with his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The utilization of corporate lingo serves as a strategic alignment tool, ensuring stakeholders are consistently on the same page and synergizing towards shared objectives. By leveraging a standardized lexicon, we optimize cross-functional communication, enhance workflow efficiencies, and create a seamless interface between departments. This fosters an environment where key deliverables and KPIs are easily understood, facilitating swift decision-making and driving value-added initiatives. Corporate lingo empowers teams to operationalize core competencies while maintaining agility in a dynamic marketplace. It also streamlines onboarding processes, allowing new hires to quickly acclimate to the organizational culture and align with the broader mission statement. In short, the deployment of corporate jargon is a best practice for maximizing ROI on human capital and driving scalable growth across the enterprise.

You (or ChatGPT) forgot to include two that happen to be particularly nerve grating - “the ask” and “solutioning” used as a verb (even autocorrect doesn’t like it!).

Not sure the hill was worth the climb on this parody piece.

Lol

PP. What's extra funny about that "hill worth the climb" expression is that when I started my corporate career, people were busy getting a 20,000 ft. view (or 40,000 ft. view) of things. Intra-workday, I used to listen to all the different altitudes used in the expression and ponder whether executives views' needed air traffic controllers or not. And now, 30 years later, execs can barely climb the metaphorical hill in order to drink from a glass of juice that was "worth the squeeze". Metaphorical greying of the workplace, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My manager is always “surfacing” issues and “signal boosting” various initiatives. I wish she’d stop.

Buy and deploy a jammer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems commonly accepted that corporate speak sucks. Why has it not died out yet?

Because there are so many people who don’t really know what they are doing. Corporate speak helps them mask that. Also people are parrots and it one person uses jargon others copy it. And on and on it will go until we are dead.

Yep, they don't know what they're doing and hide behind lingo. They also do this to show they are agreeable to management but it's just that they don't understand anything. I used to work with someone who would start repeating the lingo words the minute he heard them. He would repeat back what someone else had just said. He then incorporated the words into every meeting. After a while, though, he lost his luster. I think you can overdo this and fakes do get found out

That said, I hate that said and robust. Robust is a food word and there are better words to describe bigger, better, more meaningful, etc.

[Anonymous]

We need to prime the flywheel of innovation for these corporate memos.