Dementia Signs we Missed

[Anonymous]

I’m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Started forgetting how to use technology or, really early on, became unable to understand basic technology concepts like texting. With my mom the computer got confusing first, then the television then finally the cell phone. It’s truly is like watching them age in reverse.

we got my mom a phone that can only dial 10 people a few years ago . She can no longer figure out how to answer a call.

She also now hallucinates.

[Anonymous]

yelling at the TV accusing the person in the commercial of coming to her house to scam her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL also has dementia and it’s so hard.

Sending you a hug.

Another sign we missed was that my MIL would use an incorrect word. Like instead of saying “this might be of interest” she said “this might be an inference”…initially we laughed about it bc we thought it was just a random every once in awhile thing. But it became more and more common until it was apparent something was quite off.

People do that at all ages, and it increases with geriatric age. You have to decide when it is so common that you need to carefully assess whether overall cognitive decline is a safety concern.

I do this all the time, and have my whole life, but it increases when stressed/overwhelmed/tired (and when I was pregnant). That said, it absolutely can also be a symptom of more insidious cognitive issues. My mom did it a lot when she had a brain tumor. Sometimes she could spell the word but not say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my dad it was number 2. Called me out of the blue and said a lot of mean things. Only in retrospect did the behavior make any sense.

My mom did this, too. I even posted about it here. I was so befuddled and heartbroken. We didn’t talk for almost a year afterwards, what she said was so vicious and mean to me.
I’m an only child and she has no husband.

2 years later, vascular dementia dx and assisted living

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Also, my MIL’s eyes. It’s sad, but even in photos there’s just no glimmer or liveliness - more of a vacant look in her eyes. She looks very tired (and I’m certain she’s not sleeping well).

My FIL is hung up on next steps and apparently wracked with indecision. He was told that further testing is needed (a spinal tap!) to make a more complete diagnosis and to get into studies (!) and possibly get the right meds prescribed. So, his new excuse is he doesn’t want MIL to be subjected to such procedures and is unsure if a specific diagnosis is going to help. It’s been almost a year since MIL was diagnosed with significant cognitive decline. Seems like it’s a wait and see/ignore/pretend everything’s fine.

I’m worried about my FIL and what the caretaking will do to his health.

I’m aware of the flawed study about amyloid plaques. So we’re all going in circles and that part is frustrating.

FWIW the spinal tap is not what we envision from the 70s. It's minimally invasive these days. My dad had one recently.

Also FWIW further testing doesn't change anything regarding treatment, but it can change others' perceptions and expectations. After my dad was diagnosed with FTD, it put a lot of his behaviors into context. It also set our expectations for what he could and couldn't do, and it justified some things like taking away the car keys, which we had been debating for some time. It may also help you qualify for various forms of support and aid from the state or federal level.

Also, he was enrolled in a study at a nearby university, so I like to think that even in his decline is is contributing to the health and treatment of future patients. This would not have been possible without the more detailed diagnosis of FTD and not just "dementia."

OP back and thank you. Thank you so much for this information. FIL and family are a stubborn bunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't miss the signs, you were in denial.
Knowledge isn't what's missing here, a commitment to act is.

I think denial implies willfully ignoring the signs -- but sometimes it is more subtle than that and sometimes it is partly about not understanding the disease. In retrospect my mom had some early symptoms before she was diagnosed -- things like being less friendly and more quiet when meeting new people, telling me the same stories over and over (I thought she was just getting more self-involved), getting really bad at Words with Friends. I noticed changes but was not worried since she was still able to basically function and would go out for the day and never get lost (I think from the trailer to that movie Still Alice I thought one of the first signs of Alzheimer's was getting lost).

[Anonymous]

A lot of these claimed initial signs are standard mild cognitive issues people can have any time in life and aren’t necessarily signs of age-related dementia. For example I’ve had aphasia for proper names for decades (in my 50s now), occasionally forget some of my numerous computer passwords, and don’t like dealing with new tech. Suspect lots of people are like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for posting, OP. These are pretty big signs, I have to say.

I am trying to get my father a cognitive test. His signs are a lot more subtle. There are occasional bursts of temper which he didn't use to have. He talks less than he did before. He drives less. He has anxiety at leaving the house, and traveling outside his city is difficult for him. But he does his taxes, reasons well in all our discussions, does all the grocery shopping and cooking (although it takes him more time).

I think there's something there, and mostly I think that because BOTH his parents had different forms of dementia. I want to get ahead of whatever he is developing.

May I suggest he stops driving and get help with his taxes?