Dementia Signs we Missed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL also has dementia and it’s so hard.

Sending you a hug.

Another sign we missed was that my MIL would use an incorrect word. Like instead of saying “this might be of interest” she said “this might be an inference”…initially we laughed about it bc we thought it was just a random every once in awhile thing. But it became more and more common until it was apparent something was quite off.

People do that at all ages, and it increases with geriatric age. You have to decide when it is so common that you need to carefully assess whether overall cognitive decline is a safety concern.

[Anonymous]

We saw all the signs, my mother refused all testing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean to be rude but someone gets out Christmas decorations out of season and you simply don’t see that’s a sign of cognitive decline?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mean to be rude but someone gets out Christmas decorations out of season and you simply don’t see that’s a sign of cognitive decline?

OP back and yes - this was a huge alarm for me. Not so much for DH and this is part of my ongoing frustration with him and his family. I guess I needed to vent here.

DH and FIL are in lock step with denial and masking.

FIL initiated an in office cognitive test fairly late and was shocked to learn that she was significantly impaired. I think based on my own research that she’s Stage 3.

Certainly tons of showboating. I’ve had to step aside and almost detach; my opinion isn’t needed even though my own parents and a grandparent all had significant cognitive problems and Alzheimer’s-related diagnoses. So so frustrating to watch.

[Anonymous]

For my dad it was number 2. Called me out of the blue and said a lot of mean things. Only in retrospect did the behavior make any sense.

[Anonymous]

Signs in my mom:

Very simple use of language (by a highly educated woman)

Paranoia. Wiped the clean utensils when served at my home. Folded and put coat on shelf rather than hanging it.

Drove too fast and with music too loud. Sped yellow lights.

Somehow managed to cook Thanksgiving dinner (for the last time) and some items were not good. She had always cooked and wanted to continue.

[Anonymous]

The first signs for my dad were that he got lost several times, both when walking around our neighborhood, in a place where they vacationed every year and when driving.

He became very quiet. Sitting in a group and just smiling when he had been a responsive listener and had not been a particularly quiet person.

[Anonymous]

OP very sorry and thank you.

My mother lived alone with cleaning help. When I visited I realized she had just been "filing" bills, Medicare, Blue Cross correspondence unopened in a box by her favorite chair. For maybe a year. I straightened things out and got her to add me to her checking account got the checkbook, and had bills sent to me, 900 miles away.

[Anonymous]

12:12 continued

I still did not realize this was a sign of dementia because she seemed the same as ever.
She drove us up to Clearwater (hour away) and back. I mentioned this is a phone call with geriatric care manager we had engaged a year earlier. Woman was horrified I got in a car and let her drive me. Again, seemed fine to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my parent is heading in that direction:

Rarely showers

Often sleeps in day clothes

Circular conversations

Sounds like they are already there. I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for posting, OP. These are pretty big signs, I have to say.

I am trying to get my father a cognitive test. His signs are a lot more subtle. There are occasional bursts of temper which he didn't use to have. He talks less than he did before. He drives less. He has anxiety at leaving the house, and traveling outside his city is difficult for him. But he does his taxes, reasons well in all our discussions, does all the grocery shopping and cooking (although it takes him more time).

I think there's something there, and mostly I think that because BOTH his parents had different forms of dementia. I want to get ahead of whatever he is developing.

There's definitely something there.

My mom had to move into assisted living because she couldn't remember whether she'd taken her meds and because her balance was a problem. She was also becoming quite forgetful in ways beyond the meds, even as she managed most of the things she been doing for decades.

When I was hanging pictures in her new place, I realized I hadn't gotten a pair quite even, and I was about to pull out the nail so I could move the hook. "Wouldn't it be easier to adjust the wire?" Mom asked. Which it would. Duh, me.

After a day of going on and off the step stool, I mentioned that my knees might hurt the next day. "And your glutes," she commented.

So the construction of picture frames and human anatomy? Understood. Getting to the dentist her CCRC had started offering on-site? Impossible.

[Anonymous]

Inability to manage finances is an early serious indicator. Not paying insurance bills or mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for posting, OP. These are pretty big signs, I have to say.

I am trying to get my father a cognitive test. His signs are a lot more subtle. There are occasional bursts of temper which he didn't use to have. He talks less than he did before. He drives less. He has anxiety at leaving the house, and traveling outside his city is difficult for him. But he does his taxes, reasons well in all our discussions, does all the grocery shopping and cooking (although it takes him more time).

I think there's something there, and mostly I think that because BOTH his parents had different forms of dementia. I want to get ahead of whatever he is developing.

There's definitely something there.

My mom had to move into assisted living because she couldn't remember whether she'd taken her meds and because her balance was a problem. She was also becoming quite forgetful in ways beyond the meds, even as she managed most of the things she been doing for decades.

When I was hanging pictures in her new place, I realized I hadn't gotten a pair quite even, and I was about to pull out the nail so I could move the hook. "Wouldn't it be easier to adjust the wire?" Mom asked. Which it would. Duh, me.

After a day of going on and off the step stool, I mentioned that my knees might hurt the next day. "And your glutes," she commented.

So the construction of picture frames and human anatomy? Understood. Getting to the dentist her CCRC had started offering on-site? Impossible.

This was like my mother — passed away from Alzheimer’s about 4 years after these types of signs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my parent is heading in that direction:

Rarely showers

Often sleeps in day clothes

Circular conversations

Sounds like they are already there. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry, too. There is a lot of denial in these posts. Every single one of these posters likely has parents with some stage of dementia, likely Alzeheimer’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my parent is heading in that direction:

Rarely showers

Often sleeps in day clothes

Circular conversations

Sounds like they are already there. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry, too. There is a lot of denial in these posts. Every single one of these posters likely has parents with some stage of dementia, likely Alzeheimer’s.

I'm not sure how posts with examples of early signs of cognitive decline in our parents counts as "a lot of denial " nor how you can declare it "likely Alzheimer's" rather than one of the other forms of cognitive decline/dementia