College Aged Child Overspends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine does this too but I am letting it go for now because his 'overspending' is social activities. I can afford it and I don't want him missing out just to teach him financial lessons, which he basically knows.

The majority of social activities in college involve alcohol. He can miss out on some of those and head to the library.

[Anonymous]

I have high schoolers and I’m worried about this too. They have Apple Pay on their phones linked to my credit card. I’d like to cut it off in college.

I talked to someone my age (late 40s) that happened to be in Florida during spring break for work, and he couldn’t believe that way the kids spent. Drinking fancy drinks at the pool bar all day, going out for nice sit down dinners, then getting dressed up for the club, all while staying at fancy hotels. Gone are the days of piling into a buddy’s van, staying 4 people deep in a cheap motel, and drinking Busch light all day. IMO, we’ve done a terrible job at managing our kids spending…as a society.

In college I got a credit card with $1500 limit freshman year, maxed it out in a month, and then paid minimum payments the next 4 years while watching the balance grow. That was my lesson in frivolous spending. I say cut them off and let them learn on their own, while providing parental guidance of course.

[Anonymous]

^
Dusting off the cobwebs, but I also took out extra student loans for spending money, maybe 2-3k per semester. You could give your kid a lump sum deposit and tell them it needs to last through the semester.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine does this too but I am letting it go for now because his 'overspending' is social activities. I can afford it and I don't want him missing out just to teach him financial lessons, which he basically knows.

Then you’re setting your kid up for a lifetime of not being able to budget and live below his means. Once he’s on his own he will expect a certain lifestyle and entertainment budget will be a huge part of that.

We should be teaching the kids, not coddling them. This is why the younger generation can’t afford real estate. Prices are high, sure, but they grew up going to Starbucks all the time with mom and Zavazone with dad every time he doesn’t know what to do with them.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that I didn’t have a budget in college, had my mom’s credit card and used it well into my 20’s and never had any problem with credit (but in fairness, I also never had to get to the bone on necessities).

There’s a difference between:
1) the moral benefits of paying your own way
2) knowing how to make and stick to a budget

People keep freaking out about this kid misusing credit but it sounds like it was her mom’s card and she’s had access to use it. OP is saying the kid is supposed to pay for their own entertainment, but it sounds like that was just a pie in the sky thing and everyone knew it.

Obviously I think 1 is sort of dubious in the case of college students if you’re just carving out one spending category arbitrarily, but it’s fine if it’s a parenting priority. But only if you really draw the line and it sounds like OP’s kid could tell it wasn’t serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine does this too but I am letting it go for now because his 'overspending' is social activities. I can afford it and I don't want him missing out just to teach him financial lessons, which he basically knows.

Then you’re setting your kid up for a lifetime of not being able to budget and live below his means. Once he’s on his own he will expect a certain lifestyle and entertainment budget will be a huge part of that.

We should be teaching the kids, not coddling them. This is why the younger generation can’t afford real estate. Prices are high, sure, but they grew up going to Starbucks all the time with mom and Zavazone with dad every time he doesn’t know what to do with them.

I had this in college and I’ve always been fine, not least because if you have a debt free college education, it should be pretty easy to slide into a good paying job and be able to live with some sort of entertainment budget in perpetuity. And it was. Tada! I don’t really care if I’ve maximized my avocado/latte/trampoline park savings along the way because I’m on track for my goals and happy with my life. Living in a crappy group home shared room and spending too much on “entertainment” were some of the most fun years of my life and I have no regrets…about finances. I remember once picking up a group dinner in the glow of some dumb minor promotion and then counting toilet paper squares for a few weeks to get to the paycheck. I remember it FONDLY.

I think people mainly get into credit trouble because they have a shopping, gambling, or substance addiction or they have low earnings and fall on hard times. I lucked out of the first half and by college, I was basically clear of the second anyway.

[Anonymous]

Teach how to budget, save, invest.
Require a job.
Debit only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have high schoolers and I’m worried about this too. They have Apple Pay on their phones linked to my credit card. I’d like to cut it off in college.

I talked to someone my age (late 40s) that happened to be in Florida during spring break for work, and he couldn’t believe that way the kids spent. Drinking fancy drinks at the pool bar all day, going out for nice sit down dinners, then getting dressed up for the club, all while staying at fancy hotels. Gone are the days of piling into a buddy’s van, staying 4 people deep in a cheap motel, and drinking Busch light all day. IMO, we’ve done a terrible job at managing our kids spending…as a society.

In college I got a credit card with $1500 limit freshman year, maxed it out in a month, and then paid minimum payments the next 4 years while watching the balance grow. That was my lesson in frivolous spending. I say cut them off and let them learn on their own, while providing parental guidance of course.

If you wait until college to start teaching your kids about money management, it’s too late. My DC had a small allowance since he was small and a credit card in HS and learned about budgeting. College was more of the same when he was in the dorm, and now he’s in an apartment he has a bigger budget that he has control over, but it’s all the same principles. We’ve been lucky in a sense, because DC’s friends are not big spenders (at a college where there are a lot of them), but he consciously chose those friends — he rolls his eyes at the kids that are taking Uber Black to the clubs every night.

[Anonymous]

I never had my parents cc. I had my own checking and savings account and at some point in college probably applied for my own starter cc. But I also had to save for my own fun money. If it ran out my parents maybe would give me a little to help but otherwise I had to replenish myself either over winter break with a job or junior and senior year I took up babysitting jobs for families who lived near campus and would do that to make money.

Maybe your kid could do the same. Cut off access to your cc. It’s an important life skill.

[Anonymous]

Jeez! Get them to set up their own checking account with a debit card and leave it up to them. Stop spoiling!

[Anonymous]

When our kids went to college they never had an allowance. We paid tuition room and board but the rest was on them. For their high school graduation present we helped them set up a checking account with a debit card and we put in $500. We did not co-sign for the account and after that we never talked about it because it was all on them. If they over spent it was on them but I don’t think they did.