Gossip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like say that there are other people who didn't get food instead AT THE MOMENT instead of talking about it for years

What if the person would get hurt from you pointing out that other people haven’t eaten yet and throw a hissy fit about it? Would you subject everyone at the event to that?

Let’s say if you say that to your sil she’ll force her husband and kids to leave the event, and your in laws would give you an attitude because their son and grandchildren left, and they won’t interact with your kids appropriately and then your kids are hurt. …

If your SIL acted this way I would say her actions spoke for herself, much like yours are. Pot meet kettle.

1. The burger example was totally made up. Oversimplified.

2. This topic shouldn’t be that deep, but you’re misusing that idiom.

While you question me because I’m telling the truth, your logic doesn’t apply. I’m stating what she’s doing. I didn’t take the patties.

To definition is as follows: It means a situation in which somebody accuses someone else of a fault which the accuser shares, and therefore is an example of psychological projection,[1] or hypocrisy.[2] Use of the expression to discredit or deflect a claim of wrongdoing by attacking the originator of the claim for their own similar behaviour (rather than acknowledging the guilt of both) is the tu quoque logical fallacy.

Oh, little buddy...

Your hypothetical of SIL freaking out and acting uncouth instead of handling her business like an adult is exactly what you're doing with your gossip trollop nonsense: making a problem where there needn't be one instead of acting like an adult.

Now read PP's comment again, because they hit you with some real talk and you need to hear it, Pot.

How many patties have you taken at parties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

This is so trashy. If it "irks you" enough to say something, then say it to the person responsible for the behavior so they can adjust.

Saying it behind their back to someone else is the definition of gossip. Grow up.

Uh, it’s you clutching your pearls there in the corner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like say that there are other people who didn't get food instead AT THE MOMENT instead of talking about it for years

What if the person would get hurt from you pointing out that other people haven’t eaten yet and throw a hissy fit about it? Would you subject everyone at the event to that?

Let’s say if you say that to your sil she’ll force her husband and kids to leave the event, and your in laws would give you an attitude because their son and grandchildren left, and they won’t interact with your kids appropriately and then your kids are hurt. …

If your SIL acted this way I would say her actions spoke for herself, much like yours are. Pot meet kettle.

1. The burger example was totally made up. Oversimplified.

2. This topic shouldn’t be that deep, but you’re misusing that idiom.

While you question me because I’m telling the truth, your logic doesn’t apply. I’m stating what she’s doing. I didn’t take the patties.

To definition is as follows: It means a situation in which somebody accuses someone else of a fault which the accuser shares, and therefore is an example of psychological projection,[1] or hypocrisy.[2] Use of the expression to discredit or deflect a claim of wrongdoing by attacking the originator of the claim for their own similar behaviour (rather than acknowledging the guilt of both) is the tu quoque logical fallacy.

Oh, little buddy...

Your hypothetical of SIL freaking out and acting uncouth instead of handling her business like an adult is exactly what you're doing with your gossip trollop nonsense: making a problem where there needn't be one instead of acting like an adult.

Now read PP's comment again, because they hit you with some real talk and you need to hear it, Pot.

How many patties have you taken at parties?

So the gossip and drama is your point, because that's who and how you are as a person, eh? Okay. Just don't be surprised when you get served your own brand.

And I'd never be at your goofy gathering in the first place, so don't worry about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

This is so trashy. If it "irks you" enough to say something, then say it to the person responsible for the behavior so they can adjust.

Saying it behind their back to someone else is the definition of gossip. Grow up.

Uh, it’s you clutching your pearls there in the corner.

Actually, no. Gossip is acceptable in the pearl-clutching set, which is why I avoid.

I look for actual class, not just the trappings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

This is so trashy. If it "irks you" enough to say something, then say it to the person responsible for the behavior so they can adjust.

Saying it behind their back to someone else is the definition of gossip. Grow up.

Uh, it’s you clutching your pearls there in the corner.

Actually, no. Gossip is acceptable in the pearl-clutching set, which is why I avoid.

I look for actual class, not just the trappings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

??? Think all that sh!t all you want. If you DO pass it along you'll look unhinged because ... BURGER PATTIES. No reason to go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use THINK before you speak.

T is it True?
H is it Helpful?
I is it Inspiring?
N is it Necessary?
K is it Kind?

If you can’t satisfy all of these letters, keep it to yourself.

Love that. For OP, I think it fails on H, I, N, and K.
There is no need to share that your SIL took all the burger patties (or whatever weird trivial thing she did). If it is true that she's selfish and thoughtless the other person will find out in due time. No need to share the Great Burger Heist on Oak St.

[Anonymous]

OP….grow up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use THINK before you speak.

T is it True?
H is it Helpful?
I is it Inspiring?
N is it Necessary?
K is it Kind?

If you can’t satisfy all of these letters, keep it to yourself.

Love that. For OP, I think it fails on H, I, N, and K.
There is no need to share that your SIL took all the burger patties (or whatever weird trivial thing she did). If it is true that she's selfish and thoughtless the other person will find out in due time. No need to share the Great Burger Heist on Oak St.

Not op but this is how I live and it can get really stressful so I know it's hard but worth it in the end. It can eat me up that others don't know the truth of how terrible some acquaintance is but I truly think people like that out themselves and eventually everyone knows. And if they somehow make a positive change, I will be the badmouthing jerk who tried to smear them.

[Anonymous]

Gossip is more speculative, like rumors, in my mind. It’s better not to discuss other people as habit though. Talk about your own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like say that there are other people who didn't get food instead AT THE MOMENT instead of talking about it for years

What if the person would get hurt from you pointing out that other people haven’t eaten yet and throw a hissy fit about it? Would you subject everyone at the event to that?

Let’s say if you say that to your sil she’ll force her husband and kids to leave the event, and your in laws would give you an attitude because their son and grandchildren left, and they won’t interact with your kids appropriately and then your kids are hurt. …

If your SIL acted this way I would say her actions spoke for herself, much like yours are. Pot meet kettle.

1. The burger example was totally made up. Oversimplified.

2. This topic shouldn’t be that deep, but you’re misusing that idiom.

While you question me because I’m telling the truth, your logic doesn’t apply. I’m stating what she’s doing. I didn’t take the patties.

To definition is as follows: It means a situation in which somebody accuses someone else of a fault which the accuser shares, and therefore is an example of psychological projection,[1] or hypocrisy.[2] Use of the expression to discredit or deflect a claim of wrongdoing by attacking the originator of the claim for their own similar behaviour (rather than acknowledging the guilt of both) is the tu quoque logical fallacy.

Oh, little buddy...

Your hypothetical of SIL freaking out and acting uncouth instead of handling her business like an adult is exactly what you're doing with your gossip trollop nonsense: making a problem where there needn't be one instead of acting like an adult.

Now read PP's comment again, because they hit you with some real talk and you need to hear it, Pot.

How many patties have you taken at parties?

So the gossip and drama is your point, because that's who and how you are as a person, eh? Okay. Just don't be surprised when you get served your own brand.

And I'd never be at your goofy gathering in the first place, so don't worry about me.

Why are you at this party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

??? Think all that sh!t all you want. If you DO pass it along you'll look unhinged because ... BURGER PATTIES. No reason to go there.

Well, like I said, the true examples aren’t trivial like burger patties.

feel free to tell us what kind of information would you be compelled to share?

The interesting part of this is that you all seem to think that one shall be ashamed of repeating what someone else is not ashamed of doing (to you).

I don’t believe you’re such inhibited people in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

??? Think all that sh!t all you want. If you DO pass it along you'll look unhinged because ... BURGER PATTIES. No reason to go there.

Well, like I said, the true examples aren’t trivial like burger patties.

feel free to tell us what kind of information would you be compelled to share?

The interesting part of this is that you all seem to think that one shall be ashamed of repeating what someone else is not ashamed of doing (to you).

I don’t believe you’re such inhibited people in real life.

I'm not that poster but my inhibitions know no bounds

[Anonymous]

It’s not “gossip” if it’s first-hand information, you were not told the information in confidence, and it’s true.

If you actually experienced someone behaving badly, it’s not gossip to talk about it with a third party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41, no the information is almost never necessary, but I’m feeling like why not say of it irked me enough?

I don’t want to put an example, because the examples are too specific. But think of something like, oh I met your sil. She seems so nice. And I’m like, mmmh, she takes all the burger patties at a cook out.

??? Think all that sh!t all you want. If you DO pass it along you'll look unhinged because ... BURGER PATTIES. No reason to go there.

Well, like I said, the true examples aren’t trivial like burger patties.
feel free to tell us what kind of information would you be compelled to share?
The interesting part of this is that you all seem to think that one shall be ashamed of repeating what someone else is not ashamed of doing (to you).
I don’t believe you’re such inhibited people in real life.

The root of the problem here is that you are using a stupid example. if it was more serious than taking 3 burger patties at a cookout, than you need to share a comparable example. If it was that she is a chronic shoplifter or ties her child up to the bed at night, or doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom, tell us that, and we can give you better advice.