Does anyone hate how competitive the world has become?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who makes it look easy. He always makes the team and excels academically. He is hoping for an ivy.

I have another kid who is borderline good at everything and a third kid who is too young to tell. Not everyone will go to a T20 college and that is ok. My middle kid will probably go to a school like BU or Penn State. Your kid can go there too.

One of the problems is that your references to “BU and Penn State” are still top 60 colleges out of 3000…BU has a 14.4% acceptance rate…so no, most kids can’t “go there too”.

Everyone’s frame of reference is completely skewed. So, when you say not everyone will go to a top 20, you turn around and still only think top 50ish schools are worthwhile.

Agree with this! LOL. This lady feels like BU is slumming it but it's crazy hard to get into. Frankly almost as hard as several of the Ivies.
This area (DC) is so insane.

Pp here. My oldest is in high school. My middle kid is only in middle school. I have been looking at acceptance rates and my oldest is looking at all colleges with sub 10% acceptance rates and I’m confident he will get in.

My 7th grader has a lot of time. From our high school, it looks like BU is around 25-30% acceptance and Penn state is higher than 50%. BU is my oldest kid’s safety.

Seems like you are completely missing the point of the thread...or I gather you are fine with the competitive nature of the DMV.

I was feeling nervous from reading these threads about high stat kids getting rejected. In actuality, a lot of kids get into good schools. I mean if your kid has a 3.0, no but if your kid has almost straight As with rigor, 1500+ SAT and good extracurricular activities (not just sports), your kid should get into a T50.

Folks...this is lunacy...only the top 1% of all HS students score 1500+ on the SAT. There are several schools in the T50 where you can get accepted with stats much less than this (with basically no ECs)...and many in the top 100.

[Anonymous]

As a military spouse this is extra heightened in DC.

We were last stationed in the Midwest and it wasn't this intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For all of us who belong in one or more categories - non-White, non-Christian, different national origin - life and world has always been competitive and hard.

So true. Welcome to our reality, white Americans!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the dc area. Move to the south or Midwest

THIS - or mountains. East Coast metro is the worst for rat race competitiveness.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to engage in the competitiveness. I didn’t. There are thought colleges out there and the majority of them do not have competitive admissions. Pick one.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a father of a young boy, I think about this all the time. Things are so different from when I was a kid which wasn't even that long ago. You can't do rec league soccer and more it has to be travel league, summer camp signup started before the New Year, high school kids are doing charity trips to third world countries... This list just goes on and on...

You can do rec soccer. It is a choice. Most kids who do travel soccer will eventually quit and it serves very little purpose.

It’s really hard to find a rec soccer team after 6th grade.

I’m feeling this stress because my kid had a bad freshman year and even he got straight As the rest of HS, he probably won’t get into UMd or anything like a top 100 school. He had basically one bad month that ranked his second semester grades and it feels like there’s no recovery from it.

Michigan State is ranked #60 and has an 89% acceptance rate...there are a number of Top 100 schools with high acceptance rates.

+1 You might be surprised what’s highly ranked and what their acceptance rates are. Or what colleges are strong in particular programs.

If the goal is grad or professional school, do well in undergrad and then go for the top grad/law schools. Thats worth much more than a fancy undergrad. Go on any Biglaw website and look where they did their undergrads, I promise you’re going to see a surprising variety. Law schools no, they all want the T14, maybe T25 if well qualified or practicing in an unusual area. But you can get into a top law, med, or business school from just about anywhere with the right undergrad
grades/scores/resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the dc area. Move to the south or Midwest

No, it’s every suburban area with wealth.

I live in the Midwest in a reasonably sized city, and there are a substantial number of opt-out families. Our kids don’t do sports (no interest). There are some families doing the whole travel sport thing but they are a minority and our kids are just as likely to be admitted because travel sports are a snooze fest to admissions officers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was always competitive, OP. Many countries have had ultra competitive college admissions for generations. Here in America you just didn't realize it because you were part of the privileged. As PP said, in your generation many of the US poor or the US non-whites didn't make it to college. Now it's opened up a lot more, and you're feeling the heat.

I agree it was a privilege to grow up that way, but it’s truly was ideal. And it was something most middle class Americans experienced. Btw, many people in the world grew up this way too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s all in your mindset. Stop trying to keep up with everyone else.
To the poster who said you can’t even do rec soccer anymore it has to be travel, no it doesn’t. My rising 7th grader does rec soccer because she still wants to play basketball in the winter and try flag football this fall. Some kids went to travel, we did not. You gotta change your perspective.
If your kids are happy and go to college and get into a field they want to be in, that’s enough. If your kids are happy and don’t go to college but still do something that fulfills them, that’s enough too.
It’s hard living in this area if you’re competitive but that’s in your head and something you can change.

This!!! Well said. It’s only “competitive” if you let it be or you want it to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need to engage in the competitiveness. I didn’t. There are thought colleges out there and the majority of them do not have competitive admissions. Pick one.

You don’t have to compromise or “opt-out” to not be competitive. Enjoy travel sports, apply to the schools you want to go to and if you don’t get in, so be it. All a mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the dc area. Move to the south or Midwest

No, it’s every suburban area with wealth.

I live in the Midwest in a reasonably sized city, and there are a substantial number of opt-out families. Our kids don’t do sports (no interest). There are some families doing the whole travel sport thing but they are a minority and our kids are just as likely to be admitted because travel sports are a snooze fest to admissions officers.

Ha! Your own version of competitiveness. You are just smarter than all those families playing sports.

[Anonymous]

for state schools Colleges need to open up more spots by increasing capacity overall including reduce entry for out of state and out of country placements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the dc area. Move to the south or Midwest

That’s not true.

[Anonymous]

The reality is that life in the major job hubs on the coasts is very expensive. You have to be a striver or inherit wealth if you want a good quality of life *supporting a family* in these areas.

Yes, you can opt out, but the job base isn’t as strong in more affordable areas.

I lived being middle class in the DMV and it’s not pleasant. Rent, can’t afford to own. Only one child because the cost of infant care or going down to one income to have a second wasn’t feasible.

Parents are acutely aware that the gap is growing and the middle is shrinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling this too. The only solution is that we collectively start pushing back and just stop with it. It’s absurd. We can’t “have it all” and need to learn to be happy with less. Greed is causing division and ruining the planet.

It is possible to have a nice life without doing any of the stuff in the OP.
After all, if there are enough good, smart kids not getting into the types of schools OP mentions, those kids still have to go somewhere, and they will do well even if they never got to play JV sports or join a frat.

In the end, it’s all just vapor anyway.

I'm living this response. Yeah, it is all just vapor anyway. We create so much of this stress in our minds.