Should I let my trans tween wear a binder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my dd was 11/12 she cut her hair boy short, asked for a binder, and started wearing androgynous clothes. We did not agree to the binder, let her wear whatever sports bras she felt comfortable with, supported her with everything else.

She’s 16 now and wears a bikini to the pool and identifies as a girl.

I wouldn’t rush into anything permanent unless you are sure sure sure, like your kid has identified as a boy from a very young age. This was a phase for our dd.

I am OP. I’m totally open to this happening this way. I’m really only asking about bras. People here are very reactive thinking I’m asking about more. I’ve been pretty clear about what we are asking. It’s amazing how many people want to turn it into more. As if I’m scheduling my 11 year old for surgery.

Because you are inquiring about binders that your kid didn't even ask for. It feels like you are pushing her in a trans direction. Let her lead.

OP the title of your post doesn't use the word bra. People are responding to what you wrote.

Yup. And then I listened to what folks wrote and was successfully redirected. And apparently nobody in DCUM reads previous posts to see this play out and so it goes on and on. Ugh. Not unique to me not to my post but definitely tiresome.

Got it. Message received. Going with the sports bra. Heard you all loud and clear. Got it.

[Anonymous]

It’s very strange that you would want your 11-year-old who isn’t even asking about wearing a binder, to wear a binder or rather that you would bring it up to your 11-year-old. That’s really crazy.

[Anonymous]

I first recommended the Nike bras and my daughter likes them for comfort. She has a lot of sensory issues besides her C cup. I buy them online when Macys has sales. At some point in the year they are $20-$25 there on sale, which is a lot less than I’ve seen them anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

No. This is going too far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s very strange that you would want your 11-year-old who isn’t even asking about wearing a binder, to wear a binder or rather that you would bring it up to your 11-year-old. That’s really crazy.

+1

[Anonymous]

NP in a similar situation (though my kid has asked for a binder) - thanks for posting this question, OP. Can anyone post a link to the Nike sports bras that have been recommended on this thread? Curious to know which are best for kids looking for compression.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my dd was 11/12 she cut her hair boy short, asked for a binder, and started wearing androgynous clothes. We did not agree to the binder, let her wear whatever sports bras she felt comfortable with, supported her with everything else.

She’s 16 now and wears a bikini to the pool and identifies as a girl.

I wouldn’t rush into anything permanent unless you are sure sure sure, like your kid has identified as a boy from a very young age. This was a phase for our dd. [/quote]

I am OP. I’m totally open to this happening this way. I’m really only asking about bras. People here are very reactive thinking I’m asking about more. I’ve been pretty clear about what we are asking. It’s amazing how many people want to turn it into more. As if I’m scheduling my 11 year old for surgery. [/quote]

Because you are inquiring about binders that your kid didn't even ask for. It feels like you are pushing her in a trans direction. Let her lead.[/quote]

OP the title of your post doesn't use the word bra. People are responding to what you wrote.[/quote]

Yup. And then I listened to what folks wrote and was successfully redirected. And apparently nobody in DCUM reads previous posts to see this play out and so it goes on and on. Ugh. Not unique to me not to my post but definitely tiresome.

Got it. Message received. Going with the sports bra. Heard you all loud and clear. Got it. [/quote]

not everybody is going to carefully study all the answers. some people just read the OP.

perhaps think twice how your title in the future? your title states that your child is trans and implies they are asking for a binder. i mean, you are literally saying "should i let them".

it turns out, they might or might not be trans, and never asked for a binder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my dd was 11/12 she cut her hair boy short, asked for a binder, and started wearing androgynous clothes. We did not agree to the binder, let her wear whatever sports bras she felt comfortable with, supported her with everything else.

She’s 16 now and wears a bikini to the pool and identifies as a girl.

I wouldn’t rush into anything permanent unless you are sure sure sure, like your kid has identified as a boy from a very young age. This was a phase for our dd.

I am OP. I’m totally open to this happening this way. I’m really only asking about bras. People here are very reactive thinking I’m asking about more. I’ve been pretty clear about what we are asking. It’s amazing how many people want to turn it into more. As if I’m scheduling my 11 year old for surgery.

I wasn’t trying to attack, just to give you a perspective for when you asked “should I let my 11 year old wear a binder?” And my response was to wait, because some 11 year olds (like mine) just hated their growing chest and thought maybe that hate meant she was a boy. I was open to whatever (as it sounds like you are!) and I’m glad we didn’t do the binder because she is comfortable with her female form to this day. I know it’s a confusing time for both of you, just take it one step at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my dd was 11/12 she cut her hair boy short, asked for a binder, and started wearing androgynous clothes. We did not agree to the binder, let her wear whatever sports bras she felt comfortable with, supported her with everything else.

She’s 16 now and wears a bikini to the pool and identifies as a girl.

I wouldn’t rush into anything permanent unless you are sure sure sure, like your kid has identified as a boy from a very young age. This was a phase for our dd.

I am OP. I’m totally open to this happening this way. I’m really only asking about bras. People here are very reactive thinking I’m asking about more. I’ve been pretty clear about what we are asking. It’s amazing how many people want to turn it into more. As if I’m scheduling my 11 year old for surgery.

I wasn’t trying to attack, just to give you a perspective for when you asked “should I let my 11 year old wear a binder?” And my response was to wait, because some 11 year olds (like mine) just hated their growing chest and thought maybe that hate meant she was a boy. I was open to whatever (as it sounds like you are!) and I’m glad we didn’t do the binder because she is comfortable with her female form to this day. I know it’s a confusing time for both of you, just take it one step at a time.

Then why did you say "don't rush into anything permanent" when OP is asking about an article of clothing that isn't permanent at all, and wouldn't have prevented her from becoming comfortable with her female form at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my dd was 11/12 she cut her hair boy short, asked for a binder, and started wearing androgynous clothes. We did not agree to the binder, let her wear whatever sports bras she felt comfortable with, supported her with everything else.

She’s 16 now and wears a bikini to the pool and identifies as a girl.

I wouldn’t rush into anything permanent unless you are sure sure sure, like your kid has identified as a boy from a very young age. This was a phase for our dd.

I am OP. I’m totally open to this happening this way. I’m really only asking about bras. People here are very reactive thinking I’m asking about more. I’ve been pretty clear about what we are asking. It’s amazing how many people want to turn it into more. As if I’m scheduling my 11 year old for surgery.

I wasn’t trying to attack, just to give you a perspective for when you asked “should I let my 11 year old wear a binder?” And my response was to wait, because some 11 year olds (like mine) just hated their growing chest and thought maybe that hate meant she was a boy. I was open to whatever (as it sounds like you are!) and I’m glad we didn’t do the binder because she is comfortable with her female form to this day. I know it’s a confusing time for both of you, just take it one step at a time.

Then why did you say "don't rush into anything permanent" when OP is asking about an article of clothing that isn't permanent at all, and wouldn't have prevented her from becoming comfortable with her female form at all?

Speaking of a poster who comments without reading the whole thread...

[Anonymous]

OP here. I ordered sports bras after yesterday’s thread. Through the magic of Amazon prime they came today and now my kid is over the moon happy. Thanks, all!

[Anonymous]

Hey OP! Glad your kid is happy! If they have any fit issues, I’m non-binary and love the arcteryx long lines sports bra. It’s minimizing and doesn’t look that gendered either, and great if you need some compression but also need to actually breathe and work out or wear all day!

Can totally get away with as a not-that-gendered swim top with trunks (although might not be comfortable enough wet for swimming laps - more for hanging out at the pool). On the swim topic, quiksilver makes a good men’s rash guard shirt that comes in nice colors and patterns. Order a size up though! Surprisingly tight. (Wear over sports bra).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP! Glad your kid is happy! If they have any fit issues, I’m non-binary and love the arcteryx long lines sports bra. It’s minimizing and doesn’t look that gendered either, and great if you need some compression but also need to actually breathe and work out or wear all day!

Can totally get away with as a not-that-gendered swim top with trunks (although might not be comfortable enough wet for swimming laps - more for hanging out at the pool). On the swim topic, quiksilver makes a good men’s rash guard shirt that comes in nice colors and patterns. Order a size up though! Surprisingly tight. (Wear over sports bra).

Thanks. We found some swim trunks and tankini top from landsend that work alright. Will keep these brands in mind for later.