Young Ones and LGBTQIA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fascinating to see the neighborhood kids behaviors, particularly the 11-14 year old girls. I’m convinced that social media has caused the vast majority of them to question their sexuality and gender. They barely know how to brush their teeth yet they know all the sexual identifiers and pronouns. Needless to say, there were few middle schoolers in the neighborhood on Saturday as they all went downtown to the parade:

Interesting take, and one I'm prepared to give some credence to, but I also think that kids so swayed tend to experience other comorbidities, such as anxiety, OCD, neurodiversity, depression, etc. I know so-called conversion thereapy is a controversial topic, but I wonder if it works both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t inherently have crushes on people when you were 11? Having a crush on someone is pretty normal. You thinking that it has to be with the opposite gender is what not normal.

Interesting. Heterosexuality IS the norm. It’s the default. No one said it HAD to be with the opposite sex, but statistically it usually is.

What is the norm is not what is normal.

It's normal to be black, but it's not the norm.
It's normal to have red hair, but it's not the norm.

Correct. But when a young person has a crush, it is not wrong to assume they fall within the norm and have a crush on the opposite sex. That’s my point.

It is actually wrong to make assumptions about someone

Are you that judgmental that you have to make assumptions about every human you look at?

Whether intentional or not, we do it every day.

[Anonymous]

I have two dentists in my family. I called them to ask about 11 year old kids not being able to brush. That seems to be a major problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two dentists in my family. I called them to ask about 11 year old kids not being able to brush. That seems to be a major problem.

Maybe it’s their choice not to brush. We should accepting and have a “we don’t brush month” a “tooth decay flag” and several parades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t inherently have crushes on people when you were 11? Having a crush on someone is pretty normal. You thinking that it has to be with the opposite gender is what not normal.

Interesting. Heterosexuality IS the norm. It’s the default. No one said it HAD to be with the opposite sex, but statistically it usually is.

What is the norm is not what is normal.

It's normal to be black, but it's not the norm.
It's normal to have red hair, but it's not the norm.

Correct. But when a young person has a crush, it is not wrong to assume they fall within the norm and have a crush on the opposite sex. That’s my point.

It is actually wrong to make assumptions about someone

Are you that judgmental that you have to make assumptions about every human you look at?

Right. Because you never do.

Let’s be real. If someone sends you an email signed Beverly Smith, you’re going to assume it’s a woman. You can pretend that you’re so enlightened that you would stop to think it’s a man, but I guarantee you don’t.

This “I’m so much more enlightened and accepting - I never judge!” schtick you’ve got going on is laughable.

[Anonymous]

I think kids just have a much more nuanced understanding of gender and sexuality than previous generations and that makes you uncomfortable.

And if you're worried about teenagers experimenting with their sexuality, well...that's been going on for hundreds of years. They just couldn't talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t inherently have crushes on people when you were 11? Having a crush on someone is pretty normal. You thinking that it has to be with the opposite gender is what not normal.

Interesting. Heterosexuality IS the norm. It’s the default. No one said it HAD to be with the opposite sex, but statistically it usually is.

What is the norm is not what is normal.

It's normal to be black, but it's not the norm.
It's normal to have red hair, but it's not the norm.

Correct. But when a young person has a crush, it is not wrong to assume they fall within the norm and have a crush on the opposite sex. That’s my point.

It is actually wrong to make assumptions about someone

Are you that judgmental that you have to make assumptions about every human you look at?

Right. Because you never do.

Let’s be real. If someone sends you an email signed Beverly Smith, you’re going to assume it’s a woman. You can pretend that you’re so enlightened that you would stop to think it’s a man, but I guarantee you don’t.

This “I’m so much more enlightened and accepting - I never judge!” schtick you’ve got going on is laughable.

But when they correct you and say, “actually, it’s Mr. Smith not Ms.” You correct your assumption and apologize. Or you don’t and you act like a bigot…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t inherently have crushes on people when you were 11? Having a crush on someone is pretty normal. You thinking that it has to be with the opposite gender is what not normal.

Interesting. Heterosexuality IS the norm. It’s the default. No one said it HAD to be with the opposite sex, but statistically it usually is.

What is the norm is not what is normal.

It's normal to be black, but it's not the norm.
It's normal to have red hair, but it's not the norm.

Correct. But when a young person has a crush, it is not wrong to assume they fall within the norm and have a crush on the opposite sex. That’s my point.

It is actually wrong to make assumptions about someone

Are you that judgmental that you have to make assumptions about every human you look at?

Right. Because you never do.

Let’s be real. If someone sends you an email signed Beverly Smith, you’re going to assume it’s a woman. You can pretend that you’re so enlightened that you would stop to think it’s a man, but I guarantee you don’t.

This “I’m so much more enlightened and accepting - I never judge!” schtick you’ve got going on is laughable.

But when they correct you and say, “actually, it’s Mr. Smith not Ms.” You correct your assumption and apologize. Or you don’t and you act like a bigot…

You’re making up scenarios that don’t exist. This whole thread is about assuming that a crush is on the opposite sex - which is the norm. Where are you getting this whole “acting like a bigot” fantasy from? Who’s talking about that - besides you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t inherently have crushes on people when you were 11? Having a crush on someone is pretty normal. You thinking that it has to be with the opposite gender is what not normal.

Interesting. Heterosexuality IS the norm. It’s the default. No one said it HAD to be with the opposite sex, but statistically it usually is.

What is the norm is not what is normal.

It's normal to be black, but it's not the norm.
It's normal to have red hair, but it's not the norm.

Correct. But when a young person has a crush, it is not wrong to assume they fall within the norm and have a crush on the opposite sex. That’s my point.

It is actually wrong to make assumptions about someone

Are you that judgmental that you have to make assumptions about every human you look at?

Right. Because you never do.

Let’s be real. If someone sends you an email signed Beverly Smith, you’re going to assume it’s a woman. You can pretend that you’re so enlightened that you would stop to think it’s a man, but I guarantee you don’t.

This “I’m so much more enlightened and accepting - I never judge!” schtick you’ve got going on is laughable.

But when they correct you and say, “actually, it’s Mr. Smith not Ms.” You correct your assumption and apologize. Or you don’t and you act like a bigot…

You’re making up scenarios that don’t exist. This whole thread is about assuming that a crush is on the opposite sex - which is the norm. Where are you getting this whole “acting like a bigot” fantasy from? Who’s talking about that - besides you?

New PP here. I just assume everyone posting in the LGBTQIA+ board is gay or trans until they come out as straight and cis.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know, I understand OPs point. Identifying as gay/bi seems to be pretty common for girls in middle school. They pressure each other to declare how they identify. You must pick. I remember having girl crushes in upper el and early middle school. I’m not bi. In middle school, girls start taking care of their appearance and hygiene, care about their clothes, and are just further through puberty. Middle school boys on the other hand, often smell like BO, are short and prepubescent, and socially immature. It’s a no brainer that these boys are not especially appealing to their same age girl classmates. But that didn’t used to mean you were bi/gay if you are into boys at 11. Now girls are made to think they are unless they feel very strongly otherwise.

I don’t think this is benign either (declaring very young). It can leave girls in uncomfortable situations during sleepovers or even when hanging out in bedrooms he such. Sexual exploration when you are too young and/or with the same gender if that ultimately isn’t where you identify can be confusing and emotionally damaging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, I understand OPs point. Identifying as gay/bi seems to be pretty common for girls in middle school. They pressure each other to declare how they identify. You must pick. I remember having girl crushes in upper el and early middle school. I’m not bi. In middle school, girls start taking care of their appearance and hygiene, care about their clothes, and are just further through puberty. Middle school boys on the other hand, often smell like BO, are short and prepubescent, and socially immature. It’s a no brainer that these boys are not especially appealing to their same age girl classmates. But that didn’t used to mean you were bi/gay if you are into boys at 11. Now girls are made to think they are unless they feel very strongly otherwise.

I don’t think this is benign either (declaring very young). It can leave girls in uncomfortable situations during sleepovers or even when hanging out in bedrooms he such. Sexual exploration when you are too young and/or with the same gender if that ultimately isn’t where you identify can be confusing and emotionally damaging.

Straight girls/women do not have crushes on other girls/women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, I understand OPs point. Identifying as gay/bi seems to be pretty common for girls in middle school. They pressure each other to declare how they identify. You must pick. I remember having girl crushes in upper el and early middle school. I’m not bi. In middle school, girls start taking care of their appearance and hygiene, care about their clothes, and are just further through puberty. Middle school boys on the other hand, often smell like BO, are short and prepubescent, and socially immature. It’s a no brainer that these boys are not especially appealing to their same age girl classmates. But that didn’t used to mean you were bi/gay if you are into boys at 11. Now girls are made to think they are unless they feel very strongly otherwise.

I don’t think this is benign either (declaring very young). It can leave girls in uncomfortable situations during sleepovers or even when hanging out in bedrooms he such. Sexual exploration when you are too young and/or with the same gender if that ultimately isn’t where you identify can be confusing and emotionally damaging.

Straight girls/women do not have crushes on other girls/women

I guess you don’t believe in fluidity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, I understand OPs point. Identifying as gay/bi seems to be pretty common for girls in middle school. They pressure each other to declare how they identify. You must pick. I remember having girl crushes in upper el and early middle school. I’m not bi. In middle school, girls start taking care of their appearance and hygiene, care about their clothes, and are just further through puberty. Middle school boys on the other hand, often smell like BO, are short and prepubescent, and socially immature. It’s a no brainer that these boys are not especially appealing to their same age girl classmates. But that didn’t used to mean you were bi/gay if you are into boys at 11. Now girls are made to think they are unless they feel very strongly otherwise.

I don’t think this is benign either (declaring very young). It can leave girls in uncomfortable situations during sleepovers or even when hanging out in bedrooms he such. Sexual exploration when you are too young and/or with the same gender if that ultimately isn’t where you identify can be confusing and emotionally damaging.

Maybe that is happening for your tweens/teens in their circle but that is not universally true at all.

From what I’ve observed from my kids, most don’t care much about identity/sexuality. It just is what is is and it’s all very fluid. If they want to talk about it, fine, but it’s not a big deal if they don’t. Many aren’t into boys or girls at all.

The kids are fine. It’s the adults who are having trouble with all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this sounds like a serious issue.

Please share this ASAP with the kids you know who don't know how to brush.

Any update, OP?

How’s the brushing? Any improvement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, I understand OPs point. Identifying as gay/bi seems to be pretty common for girls in middle school. They pressure each other to declare how they identify. You must pick. I remember having girl crushes in upper el and early middle school. I’m not bi. In middle school, girls start taking care of their appearance and hygiene, care about their clothes, and are just further through puberty. Middle school boys on the other hand, often smell like BO, are short and prepubescent, and socially immature. It’s a no brainer that these boys are not especially appealing to their same age girl classmates. But that didn’t used to mean you were bi/gay if you are into boys at 11. Now girls are made to think they are unless they feel very strongly otherwise.

I don’t think this is benign either (declaring very young). It can leave girls in uncomfortable situations during sleepovers or even when hanging out in bedrooms he such. Sexual exploration when you are too young and/or with the same gender if that ultimately isn’t where you identify can be confusing and emotionally damaging.

Maybe that is happening for your tweens/teens in their circle but that is not universally true at all.

From what I’ve observed from my kids, most don’t care much about identity/sexuality. It just is what is is and it’s all very fluid. If they want to talk about it, fine, but it’s not a big deal if they don’t. Many aren’t into boys or girls at all.

The kids are fine. It’s the adults who are having trouble with all of it.

Well clearly a lot of kids care about it. Otherwise you wouldn’t have 11 yr olds with zero romantic experience with either gender, telling everyone they are bi